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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
 Posted - 09/18/2004 : 15:32:49
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Got these by email on Friday, thought I'd share with the Simpsons fans on here.
Marge: Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?
Homer: Yup, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.
Homer: "I want to share something with you ? the three little sentences
that will get you through life. Number one, "Cover for me." Number two,
"Oh, good idea, boss." Number three, "It was like that when I got here."
Secretary:"Here are your messages: 'You have thirty minutes to move your
car.' 'You have ten minutes to move your car.' 'Your car has been
impounded.' 'Your car has been crushed into a cube.' 'You have thirty
minutes to move your cube.'"
Homer: Doh!
Homer: "Oh my god! Space Aliens! Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids! Eat
them!"
Homer:"I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick,
twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff. And I want in."
Homer:"Oh, my god, Marge. A penalty shot, with only four seconds left. It's
your child versus mine! The winner will be showered with praise, the loser
will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore."
Homer:"Come here, Apu. If it'll make you feel any better, I've learned that
life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was
dead."
Reporter: Don't you think it's dangerous to send civilians into space?
Homer: I'll handle this ... the only danger in space is if we land on the
terrible Planet of the Apes...wait a minute...Statue of Liberty ... that
was our planet! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to
hell!
Homer: "Homer Simpson is not the kind of man that apologizes, I'm sorry
that's just the way I am."
Art lady: "It's called 'outsider art.' It could be done by a mental
patient, a hillbilly . . . or a chimpanzee."
Homer: "Hey! In high school, I was voted most likely to BE a mental
patient, a hillbilly, or a chimpanzee!"
Lisa: Dad! You can't just leave us by ourselves, we need a babysitter!
Homer: Lisa, haven't you seen Home Alone? If some burglars come it'll be a
hilarious situation...
Homer: "To alcohol ... the cause of, and solution to, all of life's
problems!"
Homer: "But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just
make god madder and madder."
Homer: Marge, I'm bored ...
Marge: Why don't you read a book, then?
Homer: Because I'm trying to reduce my boredom.
Homer: "Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it
gas? It's gas, isn't it?"
Lisa: Dad, please, for the last time, I beg you: don't lower yourself to
the level of the mob!
Homer: Lisa, maybe if I'm part of that mob, I can help steer it in wise
directions. Now, where's my giant foam cowboy hat and airhorn?
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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Ebb Vicious
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1162 Posts |
Posted - 09/18/2004 : 16:36:40
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1) don't forward things you get in e-mail.
2) that list sucked. there are much better homer quotes.
3) http://www.snpp.com/ |
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Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 09/18/2004 : 16:47:19
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"From now on Marge, we'll be spelling everything with letters"
 So, I finally got my X-Wing |
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Daisy Girl
~ Abstract Brain ~
Belize
5305 Posts |
Posted - 09/18/2004 : 22:42:37
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| Isn't amazing that they can keep comming up with all this new material and it is so good after all these years? |
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Ebb Vicious
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1162 Posts |
Posted - 09/19/2004 : 08:14:37
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well there is no "they keep coming up" the writers change, so it's different people coming up with different good stuff.
additionally the last two seasons have pretty much sucked ass. |
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bumblebeeboy2
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2638 Posts |
Posted - 09/19/2004 : 08:46:16
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chill ebb. cheers for list mike, made *me* laugh at least! 
And it's hard to be a human being, and it's harder as anything else, and I'm lonesome when you're around, and I'm never lonesome when I'm by myself, and I miss you when you're around. |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 09/20/2004 : 03:20:01
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hehehe, yep, made me chuckle too. And sudden urge to watch the lovable oath....<hunts out simpsons dvds...>
Nothing to see, nothing to hear,
Nothing to be, nothing to fear,
Nothing to prove, nothing to say,
Nothing to lose, nothing to gain,
Nothing to feel nothing to hate
Nothing is real, It's all too late
What do you do when nothing's wrong?
Aint got a clue, Aint got no song |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 09/20/2004 : 07:23:47
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Lovable oath?
I solemly swear to repeat Simpsons quotes lest my belly go round and my head be plucked of all but three hairs.
 "Join the Cult of Frank 2.0 / And you'll be enlightened (free for 1.x members)" |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 09/20/2004 : 10:13:03
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Damn straight. And there are so many to choose from.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Help me! He keeps making me post!
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 09/20/2004 : 12:33:17
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| Bees are on the what now? |
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Homerisms
