| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <
Canada
4307 Posts |
 Posted - 06/21/2004 : 15:24:29
|
So I've been hanging out with an ex-girlfriend of mine and we've been sleeping together because we are both single, we've been keeping it real casual-like. The "don't ask, don't tell" rule is in effect. Anyways, this past week she got real mad at me because I cancelled one night (I was tired!). I offered to come over the next night and she said no, I called her that night anyways and she said she was going to bed. I talk to her two days later to see what she's up to and she starts telling me how just after I called another ex called and then he came over! So I go and break the rule "Did you fuck him?" and I can just feel her smirking over the phone "I thought we weren't supposed to ask." Then I say "I'm asking." She says "Yes, I fucked him" there was a little small talk and then we hung up. I shouldn't be mad, but I am. Am I wrong to be mad? By the way she's been calling since yesterday about 4pm, I haven't answered or returned her calls, I think she thinks everything is OK.
"Here today, Guano tomorrow" |
|
|
Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2004 : 15:44:07
|
Well, in my opinion, she's in the wrong for demanding that you come over or being offended that you did not. No commitment means just that.
Her calling another ex was obviously a selfish and childish move targetted at making you angry and jealous. You're just falling into the trap, my friend. Are you wrong to be mad? Honestly, yes. No commitment means just that.
Obviously you both have some passing interest in commitment or you'd not be upset at each other. Might be worth thinking about before you talk to her again. If you don't really think that's what you want, then it might be good to just keep your distance from her and perhaps notify her of your intent/reasons as well. Obviously there's some confusion at the moment.
- This has been another moment of worthless advice from Dr. Dean.
 "When 5000 posts you reach / Look as good you will not, hmmm?" |
 |
|
|
TattooedJeebus
- FB Fan -
Canada
47 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2004 : 15:47:51
|
Fuck friends are like communism. They both sound great in theory but don't quite work out in practice.
If you're getting cotton mouth, my mind is like an ocean... |
|
|
|
floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2004 : 15:50:44
|
as a rule, i don't hang out with ex's unless we can truly be "friends".
i have broken that rule of course. but every time i have it just reinforces my belief that you shoudln't hang out with ex's (until a significant amount of time has passed) because it prevents both of you from moving on. which you should do if you broke up.
unless you're feeling horny and lonely. then you should call her. |
|
|
|
ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2004 : 15:52:16
|
In my experience sleeping with ex's always ends badly. Someone ends up having feelings and getting feelings hurt, etc. I have NEVER seen it work out no matter how it starts. All that said, I think that you have every right to be upset and feel bad. It's something that is really hard to not FEEL about, so I think you are justified. I don't think you should keep sleeping with her though, it will probably just get worse.
_____________________________________________________________________
I replace you easily, replace pathetically,
I flirt with any flighty thing that falls my way.
But how I needed you. When I needed you.
Lets not forget we are so strong... so bloody strong. |
|
|
|
shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <
Canada
4307 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2004 : 15:55:55
|
Funny thing is I'm mad because she had him over when she told me she was going to bed, not because she slept with the guy, if she nailed him the night I didn't come over, no problem.
And COF, that is my point, she should not have given me any guff about not coming over, that night she was "needy girlfriend" - I spent the whole next day wondering if she was getting attached or something, thinking about the most diplomatic way to tell her I liked it the way it was going. I guess I can say she broke the rules first.
"Here today, Guano tomorrow" |
|
|
|
fudd
= Cult of Ray =
664 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2004 : 16:33:30
|
| Maybe being married isn't so bad after all. |
|
|
|
Erebus
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1834 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2004 : 16:41:50
|
| Man is this straight out of Seinfeld. |
|
|
|
Opaque
= Cult of Ray =
USA
251 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2004 : 16:54:59
|
quote:
Originally posted by TattooedJeebus
Fuck friends are like communism. They both sound great in theory but don't quite work out in practice.
Oh, can I add an "Amen" to that one? 
"You've gotta listen for a weird, strange noise. Something out of the ordinary." - John Crichton |
|
|
|
mun chien andalusia
= Quote Accumulator =
Italy
2139 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2004 : 20:30:38
|
i know that noone cares but i have to share this with someone since i can't tell it to my non virtual friends.
recently i cheated on my girlfriend. we have been together for something like 9 months but 2-3 weeks ago i started seeing that other girl that was heavily after me. since i am not exactly the difficult type (actually i am like the guy in "high fidelity")i gave in. now the fact is that i am greek, my ex(without knowing that she is already an ex) is french and my "flame" is italian. euro 2004 is in course and we are playing against france. italy sucks and most probably will not qualify for the next turn. how life can get more complicated than this? i must fake interest for italy AND france while my only hope is that zidane drops dead for drug abuse before he scores 3 times against greece.
i know that i should drink less but i just returned from the pixies concert at imola, i am still drunk and i just don't care about anything other than football and music.
 join the cult of errol\and you can have a beer\without having to quit smoking
|
|
|
|
TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2004 : 20:33:16
|
Uh...So...you cheated on your girlfriend and you're more worried about football because of your two partners' ethnicity? That can't be healthy, man..
"Freedom is a state of mind and the condition and position of your ass. Free your mind and your ass will follow." - Funkadelic |
|
|
|
mun chien andalusia
= Quote Accumulator =
Italy
2139 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2004 : 20:49:32
|
croutò i almost had a heart attack during the game between spain and greece. no girl can give you the same feeling. i must agree that it's not healthy but i am really ethnically confused (i am living the concept of global economy in my bed), excited for my team (we never made it that far) and i don't give a f**k about anything else. who cares? i just wanted to share the absurd beauty of the new EU. i love it even when we will be humiliated by the french. they have zidane we have their girls.
join the cult of errol\and you can have a beer\without having to quit smoking
|
|
|
|
TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2004 : 22:10:00
|
Whoa...are you alright, man?
"Freedom is a state of mind and the condition and position of your ass. Free your mind and your ass will follow." - Funkadelic |
|
|
|
TattooedJeebus
- FB Fan -
Canada
47 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2004 : 02:08:36
|
quote:
Originally posted by mun chien andalusia
croutò i almost had a heart attack during the game between spain and greece. no girl can give you the same feeling. i must agree that it's not healthy but i am really ethnically confused (i am living the concept of global economy in my bed), excited for my team (we never made it that far) and i don't give a f**k about anything else. who cares? i just wanted to share the absurd beauty of the new EU. i love it even when we will be humiliated by the french. they have zidane we have their girls.
join the cult of errol\and you can have a beer\without having to quit smoking
I disagree...I get that feeling from my girl everytime I look at her.
If you're getting cotton mouth, my mind is like an ocean... |
|
|
|
TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2004 : 03:30:32
|
Yes, that's what it's all about Jeebus! Jeebus Was Right.
"Freedom is a state of mind and the condition and position of your ass. Free your mind and your ass will follow." - Funkadelic |
|
|
|
GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2004 : 04:00:10
|
hmm. I guess it depends on what exactly you call an 'ex'. I mean, i hang out with a ton of guys ive had flings with..or been out with for real small amount of times...ya know - not real emotional relationships with.
But the guys ive had that sort of emotional relationship with ...I only speak to one of those now.
The one I still speak too..we were fuck buddies for 2 years after we split up..but the emotional commitment was still there too..so yeah, it was just like id occasionally cheat on him -even tho we werent even together.
In the end it just got too much, I couldnt hack it any more, and needed to get my life back. I moved to Brighton and cut him off completely for around a year and a half - only recently having started speaking again. He's grown up and understands why I did what i did. Weve been on the phone this last week. the other night for 5 hours. and we had phone sex. haha. that was weird.
Anyway, hes now oh so very keen to come down to Brighton (i wonder why?).
The other two 'real' ex's I dont speak to at all. which is for the best. Since they were both childish assholes. haha
I think fucking exs just gets so messy.....but at the same time, ya know how sex gets better when you know someones body really well? well who do you know better than your ex? Its great sex, as its exciting as well, not liek when you were uin a relationship - but the consequences can sometimes out weigh the great sex....
....ok, rarely..nothig really beats great sex, does it?
I bet you never thought your movie would turn out this way
You crossed the other way, youd hope i wouldnt see you, you say youre doing fine, but thats not what it looks like, your undercovers on...
|
|
|
|
benji
> Teenager of the Year <
New Zealand
3426 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2004 : 04:40:05
|
i have remained good friends with all of my ex's.
and yes, i also played round with one after the end, but it was only once and it was not fun - i didn't really have any feelings towards her anymore, it was more the fact that i could do it - kinda like mr clinton.
but yeah, am great friends will all ex's except one - but that was cause i was such a dick, i was too embarrassed about it to see her.
but the main reason why i've remained friends is cause they were all my friend before they were my girlfriend......i had lot of female friends and i tended to end up going out with a majority of them at some stage....
 You Know You Want To! |
|
|
|
Malax
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1340 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2004 : 05:36:59
|
This is weird. The exact same thing is happening to me but the don't ask thing doesn't work with her and she just ends up skitzing every time. Thing is Im now seeing someone else (almost). Now this is were I need your help people:
HELP ME
------------
I met this new girl in a over 18's club. She told me at the time she was 16 (17 in 2 monthes) so I thought that aint TO bad. Im 21 in September. So I've spent alot more time with her and I really like her. But last night my ex (the coniving(sp?) bitch) told me shes only 15. I asked her and she said she is. Now I've already had sex with her twice, but I like her I don't want to stop seeing her. But aghhh shes 15, im 6 years older than her, she isn't even legal. Im gonna look such a perv when I meet her parents and stuff, I already look like one to everyone who knows her...should I care what people think or should I have more moral restraint? What am I to do?
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
|
|
|
GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2004 : 06:39:34
|
How far off is she from 16?
It depends...girls mature at a different rate than guys, and so it depends if she ACTS like a 15 year old. ...erm..odd question, but you didnt take her virginity or anything did you? cos thats just fucked up!! Totally fucked up.
Ive just turned 18, and i was in a fairly long relationship with a recently turnd 30 yrold (he was 28.29 at the time). my last erm, intimate encounter was with a 37 yr old. Who has a daughter - which was weird. fortunatelt she wasnt anywhere near my age! But that totally different i guess...Im legal for one.
As i said i think it totally depends on how mature this girl is her self, and how expereienced she is with relationships.
I shall warn you though - young girls get attached very quickly...and if she gets bitter, she could get you in quite a lot of trouble. so be careful.
I bet you never thought your movie would turn out this way
You crossed the other way, youd hope i wouldnt see you, you say youre doing fine, but thats not what it looks like, your undercovers on...
|
|
|
|
n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2004 : 10:14:00
|
relationships huh what a total head fuck. I stayed "friends" with my ex for three years after we broke up and still had sex and there was still so much emotional attachment but he was all like, yeah we'll get together, no we wont, yeah I love you, well maybe sometimes. Now we talk on the phone every now and again and thats it. He is supposed to visit but I keep putting it off (10 months now) because it will just open a whole world of emotional head fuckery
can't get into anything these days. Always on the peripheral. Always terrified, exhausted, annoyed, pissed, anxious, out of it-out of the loop, out of my mind, out of time.
|
|
|
|
shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <
Canada
4307 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2004 : 12:31:20
|
quote:
Originally posted by Malax
This is weird. The exact same thing is happening to me but the don't ask thing doesn't work with her and she just ends up skitzing every time. Thing is Im now seeing someone else (almost). Now this is were I need your help people:
HELP ME
------------
I met this new girl in a over 18's club. She told me at the time she was 16 (17 in 2 monthes) so I thought that aint TO bad. Im 21 in September. So I've spent alot more time with her and I really like her. But last night my ex (the coniving(sp?) bitch) told me shes only 15. I asked her and she said she is. Now I've already had sex with her twice, but I like her I don't want to stop seeing her. But aghhh shes 15, im 6 years older than her, she isn't even legal. Im gonna look such a perv when I meet her parents and stuff, I already look like one to everyone who knows her...should I care what people think or should I have more moral restraint? What am I to do?
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna*
I can speak from experience Malax, if it's an issue with you, it isn't going to work. when I was 23 I started dating a 17 year-old, I had known her for a couple years (my half-brother's babysitter). It didn't fly well with her parents, and that bothered me a lot. Also, we had a big problem with our groups of friends, I hung out with hers and she hung out with mine but there were never any get-togethers where it was both, it was always "whose friends are we seeing this time?" sort of thing. We ended up dating on and off for 5 years, the last time around we were talking about marriage and the future then she went crazy. The ex I'm seeing now was the girlfriend right after that one, we dated for 20 months, didn't talk for two years and now this.......
quote:
I think fucking exs just gets so messy.....but at the same time, ya know how sex gets better when you know someones body really well? well who do you know better than your ex? Its great sex, as its exciting as well, not liek when you were uin a relationship - but the consequences can sometimes out weigh the great sex....
....ok, rarely..nothig really beats great sex, does it?
The only reason I'm doing it!
[EDIT] Actually, I really like her as a person, but I probably couldn't be her friend without the S-E-X.
"Here today, Guano tomorrow" |
Edited by - shineoftheever on 06/22/2004 12:34:18 |
|
|
|
LazyHobo
- FB Fan -
Ireland
6 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2004 : 12:45:26
|
Aren’t I clad I don’t have to deal with the annoyances of a sex life!
"This Old Heartache" |
|
|
|
BLT
> Teenager of the Year <
South Sandwich Islands
4204 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2004 : 13:06:37
|
| Color me an old fashioned prude, but I think it's cool to hang out with your current love interest. |
|
|
|
n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2004 : 13:07:55
|
i remember sex. i *think* it was fun
|
|
|
|
GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2004 : 16:35:56
|
quote:
Originally posted by TheCroutonFuton
quote:
Originally posted by GypsyDeath
How far off is she from 16?
It depends...girls mature at a different rate than guys, and so it depends if she ACTS like a 15 year old. ...erm..odd question, but you didnt take her virginity or anything did you? cos thats just fucked up!! Totally fucked up.
Ive just turned 18, and i was in a fairly long relationship with a recently turnd 30 yrold (he was 28.29 at the time). my last erm, intimate encounter was with a 37 yr old. Who has a daughter - which was weird. fortunatelt she wasnt anywhere near my age! But that totally different i guess...Im legal for one.
I bet you never thought your movie would turn out this way
You crossed the other way, youd hope i wouldnt see you, you say youre doing fine, but thats not what it looks like, your undercovers on...
I'm sorry, but aren't you being a bit hypocritical? If you're going to get on him for taking a 15 year old girl's virginity and then go on and on about how you just turned 18 but have been having sex for years...When did you first have sex, anyways, if I may ask?
And especially your "I'm legal for one." quote. You just said that you just turned 18. While I don't agree that he should have had sex with her either (He didn't know she was that young..somehow..so I guess it makes it a little better.) it doesn't make sense that you're the one giving him flack.
Hell, everyone's said so themselves: That's my job. But I think I've been doing rather well as to not offend anyone lately, because that's not what I'm about.
Explain yourself, please. Women confuse me to hell.
"Freedom is a state of mind and the condition and position of your ass. Free your mind and your ass will follow." - Funkadelic
Erm, I was 17 when I started dating this guy. I live in england, smart ass, our age of consent is 16.
I have not said in my post that I disapprove,- its not my place to dissaprove - i was simply making the point that he should be careful. Maybe you should READ the posts before you jump on that oh so tall horse again crouton.
And not that is any of your business, nor anything to do with this subject, or the subsequent posts, but I was 14 when i lost my virginity - to a 15 year old, who i was very much in love with, and was in a long term relationship with.
Fuck, why the hell am I telling you that. It had absouloutely no bearing on the posts.
Neither of us know the details of the situation, and it is very dependent on what sort of girl this is, and how malax feels about her.
As i said, READ the bloody posts before you really get up someones nose.
I bet you never thought your movie would turn out this way
You crossed the other way, youd hope i wouldnt see you, you say youre doing fine, but thats not what it looks like, your undercovers on...
|
|
|
|
shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <
Canada
4307 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2004 : 16:38:28
|
quote:
Originally posted by Tre
i remember sex. i *think* it was fun
I'm usually too drunk to remember.
"Here today, Guano tomorrow" |
|
|
|
shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <
Canada
4307 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2004 : 16:45:19
|
Did anybody notice my lightening the mood post? (hint: look up)
"Here today, Guano tomorrow" |
|
|
|
TattooedJeebus
- FB Fan -
Canada
47 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2004 : 22:45:19
|
quote:
Originally posted by BLT
Color me an old fashioned prude, but I think it's cool to hang out with your current love interest.
What he said!
If you're getting cotton mouth, my mind is like an ocean... |
|
|
|
WolfManMikeLonely
= Cult of Ray =
USA
936 Posts |
Posted - 06/23/2004 : 07:32:19
|
I did things with my ex but I'm still in love with her. It's really sad how crazy I still am about that girl, heartbreaking really. When we did the things it was great, it does help to know someone's body well, and her body always felt like a perfect fit for mine. She still calls from time to time although I haven't seen her in months everytime I hear from her my mind starts driving me insane with ideas of how I could try to win her back. I miss her so much. Ok enough of my depressing stuff. Sorry.
"Hey fuck you if you don't like it."
-Johnny Thunders
www.transposed.net |
|
|
|
Malax
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1340 Posts |
Posted - 06/23/2004 : 11:32:37
|
Thank you the two of you. No I didn't take her virginity (to my knowledge) and the thing about her getting bitter has been brought up by friends. So no cheating this time! Both myself and my friends agree she doesn't act 15 at all (shes 16 at the end of August). I am quite worried about meeting her mum but she tells me she once went out with a 27 y/o (they didn't have sex) so surely her mum could be happy. My intentions are honourable and although it bothers me a little I know that im not some scummer preying on little girls. I think im gonna keep seeing her but im gonna be careful and see how things go.
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
|
|
|
Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 06/23/2004 : 13:30:38
|
I usually eat my partners when I have finished with them.
I love Black Widow spiders, I just don't like how the male gets the raw deal.
Listen to Nine Black Alps. |
|
|
|
Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 06/23/2004 : 13:31:30
|
OK I will add this now, before someone else comments. I always 'eat' my partners when I am still with them too.
Listen to Nine Black Alps. |
|
|
|
GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2004 : 07:22:42
|
OK coolMalax.
IM sure youre pretty intelligent enough to know what to watch out for, but as you said - if she doesnt act like a 15 yr old, and you are that fond of her, theres no point in not being with her.
When i was with an older guy i didnt tell my mum how old he was til about 8 months in to the relationship. she wasnt oo shocked, she was pretty cool...but maybe wait til shes 16 before youmeet her mum!!
Haha, HPM, you beat me to it!
I bet you never thought your movie would turn out this way
You crossed the other way, youd hope i wouldnt see you, you say youre doing fine, but thats not what it looks like, your undercovers on...
|
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
It's cool to hang out with your ex!
