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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
 Posted - 03/07/2004 : 21:37:10
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I found this analysis of that oh-so-famous thread, "The King Holds Court" while doing some research for the biographies and thought you might get a kick out of it (I'm not sure whose site this is exactly, but here's the link too)...
http://www.idlewords.com/weblog.09.2003.html
09.20.03
Celebrity Turing Test
In which a rock star visits his own forum, but neglects to bring a valid I.D.
Longtime readers will know I'm a big fan of Frank Black, the former Pixies frontman.
Like every other famous person, Frank Black has a fan site devoted to his comings and goings. With a new album out and a Pixies reunion just announced for 2005, the site (frankblack.net) has been having a busy month.
In the middle of all the commotion last week, a curious thread popped up on the discussion board, entitled The King holds court. The thread was spawned by a new user named frnck blck and purported to come from The Man himself:
quote:
Hi, there patrons.
Thought I'd hang out for a bit and take a few questions or whatever. I'm feeling chatty. Plus I get a kick out of this site. Not to mention the fact that it saves me the trouble of having to set up one of these things. Mr. Noisy [the site moderator] will confirm that it is actually me I imagine; or maybe not. Maybe I'll just have to convince you . That could be fun. News item. Scott Boutier will miss the first 15 shows of our European tour as he has recently become A DADDY! We all wish he and his family the absolute best, of course. I'm very excited for Scott.
OK.
Later,
Frank Black
What do these smiley faces mean? Does this mean that I am cool? I hope so. I've always wanted to be cool. Not too cool for school, no, just cool, man.
Here you have to understand that Frank Black is no Moby - while he is known to use email, electricity, and other modern conveniences, having him descend into a fan forum is like having a meteor strike your house - theoretically possible, highly unlikely, and sure to get your undivided attention.
Naturally, people took the post with a grain of salt. The general concensus on the thread was that the poster deserved credit for trying - Frank Black does indeed call his fans "patrons", and his drummer is a new dad - but gave himself away through the juvenile writing style and various little solecisms.
After all, the real Frank Black is a guy who writes lyrics like:
In division pelagic / you were choragic
So a smiley is really stretching the bounds of credulity.
It didn't take forum regulars long to reach a verdict:
Atheist4Catholics: They're just not even trying these days, are they?
EbbVicious: yeah frank posts a lot like a semi-retarded adolescent.
And another veteran pointed out that Frank Black, in his rare previous appearances, had posted under the username Frankus Blackus.
But the pretender was undeterred:
quote:
So. What's up with this Pixies reunion? Think they'll...exuse me....WE"LL do it? Ha. Sorry. Couldn't resist. So I failed my written driver's test the other day here in Oregon....what a fool I felt like! Been driving for like 23 years or something. I passed the next day. 93%. I got 2 wrong still. Some guy the first day was moaning about how one of the questions was worded; he was insisting on a written versus the standard computerized test that they usually set you up with. It seems he wanted to change the format because he wanted not only to pass (you only need to to get 20 questions right to pass I think the DMV lady said), but no, it seems he wanted to get a PERFECT score. Pretty funny. Ah yes. The exciting life of a rock musician. Sorry I blabbed on so. I guess since technically I'm "on topic" I'm aok. But I don't want to be TOO boring...
This effort got him deeper in the soup. Some of the people on the thread were hedging their bets by asking legit questions, but the old-timers seemed convinced that the guy was a fraud.
Wowee Zowee: Wow, dude, you're, like, so funny and stuff.
Ebb Vicious: you're not even trying any more. lame.
And a site moderator with the handle El Barto pointed out another fatal flaw:
I can't believe there are people actually defending this guy and thanking him as if he were the real Frank Black. I guess some of you are relatively new to the internet... He obviously has some sort of inside info. Of all things, he's posting from AOL, so there you go.
Meanwhile, other people on the thread were working hard to come up with questions that only the real Frank Black could possibly answer. This proved difficult, since by definition there was no way to know if the answer was right.
Most of these challenge questions boiled down to "if you're the real Frank Black, what is the title of track #4 of the demo tape my girlfriend handed you when you were walking out of the restaurant in Athens, GA last January?"
And a user called ProverbialCereal came up with the best quiz of all:
Here are some questions that only the real Frank Black would know:
Finish the sentence:
"On a wave of __________."
"Where is my _______?" (HINT: begins with "M")
Trivia :
What band prior to your solo career did you play in?
Who was the lead guitarist for that group?
While frnck blck worked on the challenge questions, another discussion moderator, CultOfFrank, launched a devastating flanking attack by providing a sample of the real Frank Black's prose (a letter on bootlegging policy) from the last time he had posted to the site:
quote:
To Whom It May Concern:
As long as we don't know about it we don't care. For example, a walkman in your jacket? Cool. Stereo mics taped to the back wall of the club? Not cool. Mainly because people with sophisticated recording equipment tend to get in the way of other patrons trying to enjoy the show. And don't bother the soundperson with requests for channels to tie into. He/she has other stuff to do (like mix our show) and while it may all be friendly, we just don't have time for that kind of accomodation. But bootleg away and have fun. I mean, don't start your own record company or something like that. We have a very good attorney. And give me a copy if you have a chance (my brother likes to collect that kind of stuff).
Pointing out the complete sentences, short and to the point writing, and lack of AOL-style acronyms in the authenticated sample, CultOfFrank had a pretty strong comp-lit case going against the pretender.
But the would-be Frank Black didn't let himself be fazed by close reading. Note the clever reasons he found for not answering some of the more detailed questions about his life, or providing a phone number or other token of authenticity:
quote:
Ha ha ha. This is great! I'm sorry. But it really is me. I'm trying to figure out how to prove it while not stooping to giving out personal info or have to get into behind the scenes emailing with someone...let's see...I did mention Scott's temporary replacement on the upcoming UK part of the tour...Joe Kidd...not too many people should know about that...what else?...I guess we could do a question and answer about my songs; that would eventually be revealing I suppose. Well, anyway, I'm not trying to waste anyone's time here, just having a little fun. I think ProverbealCereal was pretty funny. It's actually kinda hard to "prove" this without getting into something I don't want to...like....what color are Dave Philips' boxers? And even then, that doesn't prove does it. Something we can all confirm...I'll check the next page here for any ideas...
By now the challenges were flying thick and fast. A lot of people on the thread seemed to be playing along in a bemused kind of way, because the pretender had done a good job staying in character, and obviously had researched the part. Still, everyone on the list (myself included) was pretty much convinced that the guy was a fraud. Maybe an ambitious roadie, or even a mischevious bandmate.
Maybe a vengeful Kim Deal!
So imagine the surprise when the site moderator finally chimed in, nearly three pages into the thread:
DaveNoisy: Hey guys, fyi this really is FB. (Sorry for taking so long to respond.)
And six pages of frenzied questioning followed.
Coming across this online adventure made me really happy, for many reasons. Obviously, it's great to see your rock star hero answering questions on a dorky web forum, in between doing loads of laundry. "He's just like me", you think "except for that bit about exceptional talent. For I too had problems with my driving test."
It's also funny to see people go from being snide and dismissive to extremely, extremely deferential in the course of just a few lines. It's the old plot of the unrecognized hero playing itself out in real life. In 1929, a Russian folklorist named Vladimir Propp wrote a book called Phenomenology of the Folk Tale, where he laid out a 31-point generic schema for all hero stories, across all cultures - a kind of Universal Plot. The Frank Black episode is a perfect fit, if we skip all the business about him leaving home in the first place:
(23) The hero arrives home unrecognized
(24) A false hero makes unfounded claims
(25) The hero must perform a task
(26) the hero is recognized
(27) the false hero is exposed
(28) the hero is given a new appearance
(29) villain is pursued
(30) hero marries and ascends the throne
In our case, the false hero was a certain Stuart, who wrote "for all you guys know, I could be Burt Reynolds", only to see his attempt to impersonate the mustachioed one fail under withering fire.
Maybe this good fit means Propp's schema has some predictive power, and that numbers 28, 29, and 30 are events still to come. I would hope 28 implies a US concert tour, and 30 some kind of career and personal triumph for our recently divorced king of rock and roll. 29 is vague but quite exciting - it's almost like Nostradamian prophecy.
The best thing of all about this thread was watching FB try, and fail, to prove his identity on internal evidence alone. Sitting in a room together, or even on a phone line, all of the participants in the thread would have known immediately the man was telling the truth. But on the Internet, it's just text, baby. It would have been interesting to see if FB could have proven his identity just by discussing lyrics, or talking about life on the road. A kind of celebrity Turing test.
And if Frank Black has this much trouble, imagine how hard it would be for poor Britney if she ever decided to head over to IRC chat. Or for good old Jesus to send a mass e-mail, announcing his return.
"Dear friend, you don't know Me, but I am writing to share exciting news..."
 "Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened" |
Edited by - Cult_Of_Frank on 03/08/2004 06:24:10 |
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Dave Noisy
Minister of Chaos
Canada
4496 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2004 : 23:33:55
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hahahaa...this is too funny..!!
I wonder how many people out there are doing things like this...too rich. =)
 Join the Cult of the Flying Pigxies - I'm A Believer! |
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billgoodman
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Netherlands
6196 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2004 : 01:41:14
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I just love the part about the forum regulars who don't believe it was frank
they are sure quiet know, aren't they
 "I joined the Cult of Frank/Nobody wanted to join my Culf" |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2004 : 06:40:38
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I'll be the first to admit, I read his first post, and laughed out loud. I thought to myself that it was funny and probably not Mr. Black, especially since we already have him as a different user. But there was a nagging doubt that somehow grew in subsequent posts, so I thought I'd try asking him a question about the name of his girlfriend (who unfortunately received a far more hostile welcome here for some reason). I was skeptical but never outright convinced one way or the other and (thankfully) not rude either.
Meanwhile, Dave forwarded me an email from this 'frnck blck' claiming that he was indeed 'the man' and to verify it with Ken. I thought that a ballsy move for someone to make if they were bluffing.
Instead of answering my question regarding his girlfriend, he dodged it for awhile, so I thought, well, I'll compare styles. And it didn't look too favourable. I pointed this out and that he hadn't answered my question on the girlfriend which I thought to be a little known fact of trivia. I was probably at a 50/50 split at this point, there being strong positive and negative signs. He responded by telling me that he could name his girlfriend, but since she had been recently named on NME (which I was unaware of), the question wouldn't prove anything. Instead of saying his girlfriend's name which might have exonerated him instantly, he pointed out that my question, while crafty, was not going to be the way to ultimate satisfaction.
I was sold. It was not too long later, a day or two I think, that Dave messaged me to say that "Ken confirmed that this guy is Frank Black!" and posted what he did above.
So that's my story. I don't really feel bad about doubting since I wasn't rude or even mildly impolite and even tried to play along with his 'make me prove I'm FB' game. I think doubt is inevitable in this sort of scenario and just find the whole thing amusing.
Quietness averted. :)
"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened" |
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Adnan_le_Terrible
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1973 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2004 : 07:10:09
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Hey, that's how I discovered your website, guys. Before that, I only knew the Alec Eiffel page.
Have some wine, please, don't run away. |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2004 : 08:09:03
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That is hilarious, and to top it all, I like the blog and love the artist's paintings. Just beautiful work. Makes me want to move to France, and above all, take up oil painting again (not to mention, maybe buy a piece when I can afford it). Thanks, Dean!
(paintings at his old site) http://www.ceglowski.com/
666 Dunkin' Donuts, a 20-inch veggie pizza from Gumby's, extra jalapenos on the side. And a case of Asahi Dry - |
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GoddessTheory
= Cult of Ray =
USA
675 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2004 : 11:29:46
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| Dorky web forum! My fav line. |
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2004 : 13:32:28
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quote:
And if Frank Black has this much trouble, imagine how hard it would be for poor Britney if she ever decided to head over to IRC chat.
Nah, just look for the person who sounds exceptionally stupid even for an IRC participant.
Join the Culf of Buttoms / It's the Alerican way. |
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fumanbru
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
1462 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2004 : 17:56:11
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solid research cof! that is a classic thread. i was re-reading it again and couldn't stop laughing.
quote:
Originally posted by Cult_Of_Frank
... But there was a nagging doubt that somehow grew in subsequent posts, so I thought I'd try asking him a question about the name of his girlfriend (who unfortunately received a far more hostile welcome here for some reason)....
"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened"
so are you saying that miss thing is actually frank's girlfriend? enlighten us. i thought that was just someone playing a joke. she sure took a forum lashing. maybe she'll come back one day.
"I joined the Cult of Frank/ and I got a free t-shirt with this dude on it." |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2004 : 20:27:23
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I think she was, yes...
Maybe I should change my sig, people seem to have so many expectations of enlightenment. :)
"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened" |
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mun chien andalusia
= Quote Accumulator =
Italy
2139 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2004 : 20:39:41
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heh this was nice.i came across it sometime ago when i was searching fb interviews.it is someone's personal blog but i'm not sure if he's an active member or a lurker.i didn't notice similarities with the style of any frequent poster.
 join the cult of errol\and you can have a beer\without having to quit smoking
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PsychicTwin
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1772 Posts |
Posted - 03/09/2004 : 05:51:56
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quote:
Originally posted by GoddessTheory
Dorky web forum! My fav line.
I would hardly consider the Frank Black illuminati that are the cogs and wheels of this forum to be "dorks."
Wait. I'm a huge fucking dork. Guess I was mistaken. That goes for the rest of you, too. 
------------------------
The blue pill opens your eyes
Is there a better way?
A new religion prescribed to those without the faith
http://www.psychictwin.com |
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 03/09/2004 : 08:21:46
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That was hilarious. I of course had my doubts it was the man himself...I mean, Dean pulling up an old post of his and comparing the two...people's writing styles generally don't change that drasticly. It reminds me of the Johnny Malta/Ashley drama on the AbstractPlain, where Johnny Malta posted as a girl pretending to date Johnny Malta to gain special access to his alternate Trompe mix. That was great...but I caught on and exposed him through comparing the typing styles and other small things here and there. Ahh well, Detective Jim failed this case.
 "Join the Cult of Brit / And let your oral hygiene go out the window." |
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Dave Noisy
Minister of Chaos
Canada
4496 Posts |
Posted - 03/09/2004 : 10:24:59
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I just about deleted his email when it came in too..good thing i followed-up..haha
The really weird thing is that there haven't been any imposters here - i have yet to see anyone emailing me, claiming to be FB, besides FB himself.
Join the Cult of the Flying Pigxies - I'm A Believer! |
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bumblebeeboy2
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2638 Posts |
Posted - 03/09/2004 : 11:06:49
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quote:
Originally posted by Dave Noisy
I just about deleted his email when it came in too..good thing i followed-up..haha
The really weird thing is that there haven't been any imposters here - i have yet to see anyone emailing me, claiming to be FB, besides FB himself.
Join the Cult of the Flying Pigxies - I'm A Believer!
well, i was trying to keep a low-profile really, i only use the frnk blck name now and again, but yeah, i'm really frank black!
<starts a "i am spartacus" type thing>
hehe, but that review is very funny! i'm glad i was around at the time of the thread! i remember showing my girlfriend, saying "look, this guy is posting, he claims to be frank, but most don't believe him and he can't really prove it, can he?" lol! god bless the internet. 
and the comparing writing styles! rotflol!!! genius! 
The Shrine of the Sea Monkey!
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frank black conspiracy
~ Abstract Brain ~
1126 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2004 : 16:31:56
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quote:
Originally posted by Cult_Of_Frank
I found this analysis of that oh-so-famous thread, "The King Holds Court" while doing some research for the biographies and thought you might get a kick out of it
I've read "The King..." thread and that too is a good read. Ah the doubters, but they just speaking what alot were thinking I bet. And what of Frank, what the hell must he have been thinking? This and that thread is funny all round. Love this site. If only for the humour. |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2004 : 12:34:48
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Who was it that said, how many fingers am I holding up?
And frank said Hey are you giving me the finger?
Ahahahaha, something like that, man was funny.
__________
Godfather of nothing, ancesters of none.
Black glasses and feedback took my sense of fun.
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billgoodman
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Netherlands
6196 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2004 : 14:19:29
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I love it that frank black conspiracy
brings up
all these old threads
"I joined the cult of Jon Tiven/Bye!" |
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FB's Turing Test
