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Supersumomegafrankfan
- FB Fan -
USA
33 Posts |
 Posted - 09/05/2007 : 15:59:18
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I had a rather embarassing experience the other night and I just wanted to get some other people's opinions on it.
I went out on a date, with a girl that I met at a laundromat. She is really cute, and has a great personality. We went to see a movie (Halloween remake) and afterward she invited me in for a cup of coffee. Now, I always make it a point to try to clean out my bowels before I go nearly anywhere, especially on a date with a pretty girl. However, I had eaten a big meal earlier and I suddenly started to feel as though I had to poop. I didn't make a big deal about it; I just asked her where her john was and excused myself.
Well, it wouldn'tve been SO bad except that I was in the bathroom for about 25 minutes. Normally I would've just tried to pinch it off and return, but it was one of those ones where you just HAVE to finish it or it won't let your stomach rest. So I got done, made sure to wash my hands and went back out front.
Well, she seemed kind of put off by the whole thing...she had been very chatty beforehand but now she started talking about how she had to get up early for work the next day and how she'd better call it a night.
On the way out, I tried to kiss her but she turned her cheek toward me in that unmistakable signal that girls have that means, "don't even try it."
I'm thinking that that's the end of things with this girl. I am starting to think that perhaps the pooping at her house wasn't the best idea, and maybe I should've been the one to say I had to go to work early the next day, thereby cutting my losses and getting out of there. At least it might've given me an opening for a follow-up date. At the very least it might've made a follow-up date possible.
Although I realize my mistake, I also feel somewhat defensive about the entire situation. I think that not wanting to have anything to do with someone because they had to go poop in your bathroom while on a date is very shallow. I have been married before, and the time comes when you just have to get over your aversion to poop and accept that your hot young wife will occasionally have to take a dump. It's just a natural bodily function, and a part of me is starting to believe that maybe I'm better off without this chick.
What do the rest of you think? Would a potential mate going poop at your house while on a date kill the magic, with no possibility of recovery..? Would any of you still consider first-date sex with someone who has gone poop at your house, if things had been going in that direction before the offending incident..?
Into the dust we struggled...and yet we couldn't make coffee |
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Broken Face
-= Forum Pistolero =-
USA
5155 Posts |
Posted - 09/05/2007 : 16:19:15
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Well, i don't know if first date sex would be wise if the partner just spent a half hour in the can, but even the most iron-stomached of us have had bad shit days. I'd try and be sympathetic in the future, but it might kill the mood for that night.
- Brian |
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houstonguthrie
- FB Fan -
187 Posts |
Posted - 09/05/2007 : 16:24:31
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everything probably would have been fine and she probably never would have known - except for one thing:
TWENTY FIVE MINUTES??!!
come on!! 5 minutes would have had her scratching her head but probably would have been forgivable - she probably would have just giggled that one off
but 25 minutes?? I mean you better be sick if you're going to be in there for 25 minutes. After 25 minutes you should come out immediately apologizing and explaining to her that you're ill and you have to go. You don't come out after 25 minutes and just plop down and act like everything's cool - "hey you really should get some better reading material in there" |
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3111 Posts |
Posted - 09/05/2007 : 21:52:08
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I don't think I've ever been on the pot for more than 10 minutes. Then again, I don't time myself. Did you take a stopwatch or something?
 Please pardon me, for these my wrongs. |
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treetime
- FB Fan -
USA
217 Posts |
Posted - 09/05/2007 : 22:05:07
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| I think that being on the can for 25 minutes on the first date might put you in the friend category. |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 09/05/2007 : 22:22:56
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quote:
Originally posted by houstonguthrie
You don't come out after 25 minutes and just plop down and act like everything's cool - "hey you really should get some better reading material in there"
well, was the reading material bad?
"I am a troll.. and a fag." -LBF |
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lonely persuader
= Cult of Ray =
Ireland
488 Posts |
Posted - 09/06/2007 : 01:46:28
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she probably rekoned you were having a go at yourself too!!
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pixiestu
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2564 Posts |
Posted - 09/06/2007 : 03:56:29
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This incident sounds like something that would be in a Farrelly brothers film.
"The arc of triumph" |
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TRANSMARINE
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
2002 Posts |
Posted - 09/06/2007 : 12:47:34
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This is an unfortunate situation, however I would just flush it away. When you gotta go, you gotta go...but it can become, as in your case, quite a crap shoot. I must admit the length of time spent on the can in your case is quite extraordinary...I would love to know what was brewing in your mind during your BM.
Was it a smelly poop? Did you flush as it was sliding into the water to hide as much of the smell as possible? Did the paper on the toilet roll face against or away from the wall? I don't know why all this is so interesting, but it is.
All in all, quite a shitty situation. No buts about it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
His name is Dalton. He's got a degree in philosophy.
-bRIAN |
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remig
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1734 Posts |
Posted - 09/06/2007 : 22:23:18
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That's a cool story.
I can understand you had to spend 25 mn in the toilets but not on a first date, you should have find a story to leave her and do that at your house. At least you should have told her you were sick and go back home.
You can't leave a girl for 25 mn on a first date, she might think she's not that important.
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Little Black Francis
> Teenager of the Year <
3648 Posts |
Posted - 09/06/2007 : 23:44:31
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You should have pulled an upper decker and sneaked out the back door. With a name like Supersumomegafrankfan you must be a real cunt. Fuck off.
fuck this |
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s_wrenn
* Dog in the Sand *
Ireland
1851 Posts |
Posted - 09/07/2007 : 01:50:58
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Did you show her your massive FB tattoo on your back?
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trobrianders
> Teenager of the Year <
Papua New Guinea
3302 Posts |
Posted - 09/07/2007 : 04:02:18
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Yep she's not shallow cos of the big pooping, she's wise to get you out of there cos you didn't adequately explain the 25 minutes! I got to to admit I'm more curious about how she'd have reacted to the big FB tat had your desire for first-date sex come real. Guess now we'll never know. This story deserves a new poop tat.
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Ed is the hoo hoo |
Edited by - trobrianders on 09/07/2007 09:35:20 |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 09/07/2007 : 06:35:12
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Hello, Super. You have my sympathies, I spend to long in the bathroom myself (although mostly because I'm kind of obsessive compulsive about washing!), however I think you should have explained yourself a bit; did you tell her you were feeling ill? I'm no dating expert, but perhaps you should have avoided tring to kiss her on the lips.
Have you considered that the Halloween remake put her off and was so bad it made you want to shit out your innards?
"I hate how the reptile dreams it's a mammal. Scaley monster: be what you are!!" - Erebus. |
Edited by - Carl on 09/07/2007 06:35:37 |
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Visiting Sasquatch
= Cult of Ray =
USA
451 Posts |
Posted - 09/07/2007 : 15:31:41
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| Imagine your relationship grows, and you guys get married, have kids, and your kids have kids, and you tell your grandkids your first date with their grandmom was really shitty?? That's probably what she was thinking... |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 09/07/2007 : 15:35:40
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You could invite her out for a really heavy vindaloo, then suddenly go, "hmmm, actually I'm not that hungry-but you go ahead and eat!"
"I hate how the reptile dreams it's a mammal. Scaley monster: be what you are!!" - Erebus. |
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The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
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Superabounder
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1041 Posts |
Posted - 09/08/2007 : 08:01:14
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Nowhere in your story did you mention flushing. I guess at that point after twenty minutes, knowing the evening had sunk like the Titanic, I would have just not flushed and left her a memento of your first and only evening together.
On my first date with my current girlfriend, we walked in to the Texas State Fair grounds on a beautiful Saturday afternoon at which point I immediately started feeling like I was going to puke. I tried to go to a restroom but couldn't make myself get sick. Got very clammy and sweaty. After a few minutes I had to go outside and tell her that I needed to sit down and just tried to hold my stomach down. Turns out I had a virus or something my son had 4 days before, and which he had caught from his mom 4 days before that.
I explained all that to her and apologized, and she was very cool about the whole thing and we just sat and talked while I kind of tried to breathe deep breaths and not blow chunks right in front of her. After after about an hour I was able to go back to the car and we went out for a quiet lunch of vietnamese pho (I thought the broth would make me feel better).
She thought it was pretty funny and we played up the whole first date thing and me trying to come up with an excuse to dump her, blah blah blah.
I'd rather be anywhere or doing anything |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 09/09/2007 : 04:11:28
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quote:
Originally posted by Superabounder
Nowhere in your story did you mention flushing. I guess at that point after twenty minutes, knowing the evening had sunk like the Titanic, I would have just not flushed and left her a memento of your first and only evening together.
I'd rather be anywhere or doing anything
My friend did that with the girl he is still with. It wasn't her house though, it was her friends, and I think he may already have porked earlier anyway. Or maybe it was a pre-shag dump, I'm not sure.
Anyway, he completely blocked the toilet.
 I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 09/09/2007 : 06:53:30
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Hahahaha!!
KOK's story reminds me of something Ricky Gervais did in his Animals live show, about how a bullshitting mate of his years ago said he had a job interview but filled his pants on the train and said that he cleaned himself up in the toilets and used a plastic bag for a new pair of underpants!
"I hate how the reptile dreams it's a mammal. Scaley monster: be what you are!!" - Erebus. |
Edited by - Carl on 09/09/2007 06:54:01 |
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OLDMANOTY
= Cult of Ray =
United Kingdom
469 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2007 : 02:55:03
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| A friend told me he once had terrible constipation and was sitting on the toilet for almost an hour trying to 'force it'. When the mighty stool eventually emerged it was apparently the shape of a dumbell. He seemed quite proud of it. Don't think he was on a date, though. |
Edited by - OLDMANOTY on 09/10/2007 03:02:43 |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2007 : 07:43:05
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quote:
Originally posted by OLDMANOTY
Don't think he was on a date, though.
Fortunately.
"I hate how the reptile dreams it's a mammal. Scaley monster: be what you are!!" - Erebus. |
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Supersumomegafrankfan
- FB Fan -
USA
33 Posts |
Posted - 09/12/2007 : 14:51:47
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Well, you'll be pleased to know that I had a follow-up date with the girl from the laundromat!
I called her up after reading some of the replies on here...the general concensus seemed to be that I should've just admitted that I pooped and not try to hide or conceal it. So that's what I did! (Only I think I used the term "movement" instead of "poop" to try to class up the conversation a little bit.) Anyway I apologized for my pooping and offered to buy her lunch. She must have a sense of humor, because she brought me a roll of toilet paper when she came to pick me up! We had a great time, and, to be completely honest I snuck a seven-minute poop in on her at the place we went for lunch; I simply told her I'd ran into an old friend and had stopped to talk to them for a bit!
Into the dust we struggled...and yet we couldn't make coffee |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 09/12/2007 : 15:08:10
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quote:
Originally posted by Supersumomegafrankfan
We had a great time, and, to be completely honest I snuck a seven-minute poop in on her at the place we went for lunch; I simply told her I'd ran into an old friend and had stopped to talk to them for a bit!
Hahahahaha!!
Glad everything turned out okay, BTW!
"I hate how the reptile dreams it's a mammal. Scaley monster: be what you are!!" - Erebus. |
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Supersumomegafrankfan
- FB Fan -
USA
33 Posts |
Posted - 09/12/2007 : 15:10:27
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Thanks Carl. You seem like a really nice guy.
Into the dust we struggled...and yet we couldn't make coffee |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 09/12/2007 : 15:18:05
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I've got a good selection of body parts in the freezer. It's always the nice ones.
"I hate how the reptile dreams it's a mammal. Scaley monster: be what you are!!" - Erebus. |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 09/12/2007 : 16:19:28
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Funny you should say that, Carl. Until two days ago, I had a placenta in the freezer.
the cure make me want to die, but in a good way -- mr.biscuitdoughhead
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 09/12/2007 : 16:43:35
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*splutter!*
"I hate how the reptile dreams it's a mammal. Scaley monster: be what you are!!" - Erebus. |
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Little Black Francis
> Teenager of the Year <
3648 Posts |
Posted - 09/12/2007 : 17:30:22
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You are so full of shit.
fuck this |
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Superabounder
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1041 Posts |
Posted - 09/12/2007 : 17:36:22
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Sumo, before long I bet you'll be crapping in her apartment with the door open, having a conversation while you flip through one of her periodicals.
I'd rather be anywhere or doing anything |
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Supersumomegafrankfan
- FB Fan -
USA
33 Posts |
Posted - 09/12/2007 : 18:01:38
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quote:
Originally posted by Little Black Francis
You are so full of shit.
fuck this
??!??? I would have to say I was full of shit.
Into the dust we struggled...and yet we couldn't make coffee |
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3111 Posts |
Posted - 09/12/2007 : 18:33:21
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Kathryn, what do you do with placentae? Are you a scientist?
Please pardon me, for these my wrongs. |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 09/12/2007 : 19:37:46
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Placenta, just one. I grew one. Then I had the baby. Then I discovered I'd been sent home from the hospital with the damned thing (placenta). Then I kept it in the freezer for 6 years.
Tre's the scientist, not I.
the cure make me want to die, but in a good way -- mr.biscuitdoughhead
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
5454 Posts |
Posted - 09/12/2007 : 20:11:08
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| And you moved across an international border? |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 09/12/2007 : 20:16:22
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Canadian border patrol always asks whether I'm bringing in from the US guns or booze. Which I'm not. They don't ever bother to ask if I'm bringing in potentially disease-bearing veggies and plants from various friends' gardens, nor did they bother asking if I was packing placenta, and who am I do volunteer info?
the cure make me want to die, but in a good way -- mr.biscuitdoughhead
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Embarassing Incident
