| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
 Posted - 02/25/2005 : 12:40:55
|
"Sadly, I'm not an artist. I sit around in my room and bang out chord progressions that sound like stuff The Edge threw away thirty years ago."
So, needless to say, if you were waiting around with five bucks in your hand waiting to buy my upcoming brochure Understanding Poop, you can put that five bucks away, 'cause it ain't happenin.
|
|
|
speedy_m
= Frankofile =
Canada
3581 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 12:46:30
|
"No one should ever be a cock to a stranger, ever!"
 Here comes a special boy! |
 |
|
|
KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 13:00:34
|
I suppose the worst part is swabbing the bathrooms. The women's room is pretty typical, usually just cigarettes and sometimes a little barf in the sink. The men's room is more like the high-fiber primate house at the zoo. There's a powerful showerhead/disinfectant system in the ceiling, so you just shut the door and flip the hidden switch that turns it on. Sometimes, though, the guys get feces on the tops of the showerheads themselves and you have to hit those with a sponge, which is pretty nasty.
So, needless to say, if you were waiting around with five bucks in your hand waiting to buy my upcoming brochure Understanding Poop, you can put that five bucks away, 'cause it ain't happenin.
|
|
|
|
KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 13:02:59
|
Tonight a woman showed me a video of a baby being born. As it turns out, when the baby comes out of the hippie mom who agreed to be filmed with her co-star, Ferdinand The Distended Rectum, it is a completely pale chalky white, like plaster. This was news to me. I thought it would be kind of light bluish/yellow, like a strangled person. Just goes to show you that even if you read all the books, you still might not know what sort of dead body your baby might resemble. Life is a miracle! Etc.
So, needless to say, if you were waiting around with five bucks in your hand waiting to buy my upcoming brochure Understanding Poop, you can put that five bucks away, 'cause it ain't happenin.
|
|
|
|
KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 13:05:58
|
Eustace watched them for a full hour before growing angry. He stared and spat as the captives whined and begged for his mercy. Then he stood up and drank beer solidly for seven minutes.
So, needless to say, if you were waiting around with five bucks in your hand waiting to buy my upcoming brochure Understanding Poop, you can put that five bucks away, 'cause it ain't happenin.
|
|
|
|
speedy_m
= Frankofile =
Canada
3581 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 13:08:47
|
I love anything written by Pat in his blog. And Nice Pete is a scary dude.
Here comes a special boy! |
|
|
|
KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 16:07:57
|
He Gets With The Ladies But In The End They Do Not Like Him!
So, needless to say, if you were waiting around with five bucks in your hand waiting to buy my upcoming brochure Understanding Poop, you can put that five bucks away, 'cause it ain't happenin.
|
|
|
|
KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 16:11:56
|
Uh yes, hello?
Oh hey Teodor.
Well, we doin pretty bad actually.
We cracked into a case of Blue Nun widemouths at like 3am last night.
What was that?
Heh heh, thats right.
"The wine so bad it made the news." |
|
|
|
KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 16:14:36
|
Dang, Beef!
This ain't no regular hangover!
This is the BIG ONE!
I...I'm talkin physical therapy!
Wheelchairs and stuff!
Speakin at high schools! |
|
|
|
KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 16:27:49
|
I know you've had some oven fries before and you're thinkin'
"Man, oven fries are a joke!"
I know! I know! Usually they are!
I totally agree with you.
Somebody makes you some oven fries...they're all soft and not crispy and maybe not even cooked all the way...no one likes that!
What's the point of bein' healthy if you just gonna end up angry and eat a gross taste that you hate?
Pat makes some pretty bad oven fries. They're like eatin hot slugs. He's so proud of them, bringin them to every potluck we have. We have a thing we do where we throw them away.
One day I had had enough of bad oven fries. I was all like, "Look, I ain't got a bunch of oil at home to deep fry with. That is a hassle.
But there has got to be a way to make crispy potatoes in the oven. Other crispy things come out of the oven."
And that was all the reasoning I needed.
Try this recipe. If you fail at it, its because you didn't do it right.
There are crispy fries waiting to come out of your oven: you just have to make them and put them in there.
Ray Smuckles
Achewood Estates, CA
January 5th, 2003 |
Edited by - KimStanleyRobinson on 02/25/2005 16:42:18 |
|
|
|
KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 16:40:42
|
Oh, you don't want to go makin stuff up.
You gonna get audited if you do.
What's gettin audited?
That's when a man comes to your house and he just looks at you.
He just looks at you and he knows that you lied. |
|
|
|
KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 16:45:30
|
Well, here I am
drunk in heaven
seems kinda redundant. |
|
|
|
KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 16:58:54
|
Man, these Gilmore Girls just talk to goddamned much!
Seriously, man! Who writes this shit?
Nerdy bitches on speed? |
|
|
|
KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 17:10:16
|
Cathy...
Cathy, have my retarted baby. |
|
|
|
therewererumours
* Dog in the Sand *
Ireland
1240 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2005 : 04:50:50
|
Magnum P.I.!
Hurry, Philippe! We need to save the princess! Get on this pony!
'it seems,' I said, looking up at the sun, 'when a man dreams, a white butterfly does be after coming out of his mouth and walking away; and when it comes back again, it is then he awakes.' |
|
|
|
KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 06/09/2005 : 11:53:07
|
I have a question for you about getting to know seafood. Most of my life I haven't really liked it that much, and I've limited my fish-eating to salmon and maybe some crab, if it's all mashed up with some cream cheese and there's something deep-fried in or around it to make it crunchy (this is not very healthy). [R]ecently I've been trying to expand my horizons in this regard, but I don't know where to start. Oysters and clams are probably pretty good, but they kind of gross me out visually and also when I think about where they live and what they eat- same with octopi, lobster, shrimp etc. Can you help me get over this? What would you recommend to a non-seafood lover to get them started?
Sushi-less Sara
Dear Sara,
Most folks have a seafood issue because parents don’t feed kids top-quality [i.e. more expensive] fish, and the kids end up choking down rancid hateful salmon which the purveyor carried back out of the grocery store at gunpoint and sold to your elementary school cafeteria for pennies on the original asking price. Ever wonder why your lunch ladies were so grumpy? Because they got up at four AM to buy terrible fish for children they hated who would hate it. Talk about your circles of life.
Anyhow, ain’t you even think about starting with oysters and clams. That is blue square territory. We want to get you goin’ safely into green circle, here, which means a couple different things. First, you got to try fish and chips. Sure, this is fried and unhealthy, but on the inside is cod, which is a gateway fish. Once you have had cod (use the provided vinegar and tartar sauce to dip and even out any strong fish flavor), you are ready to move on to a little sassier of a player, namely monkfish. Monkfish has the firm texture of poached chicken, a light flavor, and is only served at expensive places so you know it will be cooked right. This dish should cost from $18 to $38, depending on whether or not you live in Manhattan.
After you eat on some monkfish, I want you to turn in a circle and shake your own hand, ‘cause you are approaching blue square territory. Your next step is to take a breather and just eat some delicious grilled shrimp. I ain’t talkin’ about the ammonia-marinated sea jerky you find in won-ton soup, I mean somethin’ fat and grilled, the size of a three-knuckle thumb or better. Find these at an Italian dinner restaurant which doesn’t allow shorts. You’ll know you’re in good hands.
I’m glad I could help you get to the next level in your seafood appreciation. It’s all about baby steps, slowly getting friendly with an enemy your young body (rightly) told you would kill you. It might help you to think of that big first piece of fried cod as Amnesty International, and maybe you could draw a candle surrounded in barbed wire on it using a squeeze bottle of tartar sauce. Just a thought.
Ray |
|
|
|
speedy_m
= Frankofile =
Canada
3581 Posts |
Posted - 06/09/2005 : 12:04:39
|
It would be like if the Queen woke you up every morning. Too special.
I am God's brother, his soul mate and team mate/He passes me info-mation/and I reciprocate |
|
|
|
speedy_m
= Frankofile =
Canada
3581 Posts |
Posted - 06/09/2005 : 12:05:26
|
The baby took a 'me' day.
I am God's brother, his soul mate and team mate/He passes me info-mation/and I reciprocate |
|
|
|
KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 06/09/2005 : 12:56:57
|
IS COLDPLAY THE NEXT U2?
No, they just use U2's musical techniques to create music that sounds like U2.
Its frustrating for everyone.
KRAFTWERK is touring the US again this month. If you plan to attend their shows expect to be surrounded by bearded, aviator-sporting, white UNIX geeks who cry so hard during "COMPUTER LOVE" thet the ten year old sons they brought to the show with them wriggle free from their bear hugs and look for someone to talk about Derek Jeter with.
FACT: At a Santa Monica party in June of 98', routinely unmedicated barre-chorder Courtney Love blew actor Michael Madsen so hard that she broke her arm. Madsen, while uninjured, remained seriously blown for several hours.
 <---this is NOT an intelligent man. |
Edited by - KimStanleyRobinson on 06/09/2005 12:59:31 |
|
|
|
KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 06/09/2005 : 13:40:06
|
Hey Circus Penis.
How you doin? |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
Achewood quotes.
