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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
 Posted - 10/02/2004 : 05:49:21
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I love them, this afternoon my housemate and I are going a-hunting so we can have conker fights when we get home (Via a boozer or three no doubt) I'm going to win though, I'm a wicked bitch with a conker
Unless some fucker cheats (roasting. pickling, freezing I've seen it all in my time) but thats just poor show and I'll have my beady eye on her so she can't cheat.
My ex sent me a heart shaped conker many moons ago when I was an undergrad, he found it in the street and thought I'd like it, carried it for a while and decided it was a bit tragic so threw it away, it bounced off the kerb on the other side of the road and landed back at his feet, it was FATE, that little conker sits underneath my screen to this day (although I think it looks more like a bum, I have no romance in my soul)
So today I am going to find the biggest and bestest, shiniest conker in the whole of the world, I'll fight all the other lesser conkers with it and if you're all very good I'll take a picture of it to show you.
aaaah conkers.
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
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Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2004 : 06:13:14
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(soak it in vinegar)
"You ever seen a man say goodbye to a shoe?"
"Yes, once..." |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2004 : 11:00:37
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CHEATING
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2004 : 11:19:58
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What's a conker? A black eye? A snail? A human femur? Dentures?
It's a nice word. Conker.
You buttered your bread, now lie in it. |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2004 : 12:31:51
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I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
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Llamadance
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2543 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2004 : 12:42:52
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Some guys came to our village a couple of months ago and set to cutting off many of the branches from the huge Horse Chestnut tree that's in the middle of it. The poor little conkers never had a chance
No chance to grow into a fine tree, no chance be pickled or baked, not even the chance to be skewered with a screwdriver and threaded. The thought that the remaining conkers might grow stronger was a small comfort, but, alas, 'twas not to be.
2004 might just go down as the year of the baby conker slaughter. |
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
5454 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2004 : 13:28:37
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| Does Tiny Tim come by your houses selling paper bags of "conkers"? |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2004 : 14:28:16
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conker infanticidal bastards.
Tiny Tim visits every british house with bags of conkers around this time of year, he limps around on his one crutch with his threadbare clothes and cardboard soled shoes, his muddy grubby face looks up at the poor soul answering the door and he asks politely in a high pitched voice amid racking coughs "Pardon me guvna, but oi was a-wonderin' if you would buy the conka's a humble folks such as me-self is a-selling"
Quick blast with the super-soaker normally gets rid of the little fucker, gives the bloody hippy a bit of a wash too.
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2004 : 14:49:51
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quote:
Originally posted by Tre
Quick blast with the super-soaker normally gets rid of the little fucker, gives the bloody hippy a bit of a wash too.
At which point, if you've been a good neighbor and used a bit of soap, I imagine he breaks into a rousing rendition of "Tiny Bubbles".
You buttered your bread, now lie in it. |
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
5454 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2004 : 15:56:48
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quote:
Originally posted by Tre
Quick blast with the super-soaker normally gets rid of the little fucker, gives the bloody hippy a bit of a wash too.
In the US we would also snap his crutch in half. Teach him a real lesson. That's why we're a SUPERPOWER. |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2004 : 16:16:14
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it could be why you're also known as big evil bullys
and the uk is known for being a bit wet..
er..
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
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slaveish
= Cult of Ray =
USA
269 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2004 : 20:24:14
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| so a conker is some kind of nut, got that part of the britlish translated- but do you guys really spell "curb" "kerb?" |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2004 : 06:28:34
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Curb
(EDGE)
noun {C} US SPELLING OF
Kerb
(the edge of a raised path nearest the road)
* British English dictionary *
God forbid I exude confidence and enjoy sex |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2004 : 08:15:10
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hah you can talk you movie theatre going sweater wearers!
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
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slaveish
= Cult of Ray =
USA
269 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2004 : 20:03:58
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excellent! kerb!
heh? what do you call a movie theatre? no, I don't wear a jumper, but I do prefer some of the British spelling- e.g. theatre v. theater, grey v. gray. |
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Daisy Girl
~ Abstract Brain ~
Belize
5305 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2004 : 21:02:46
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Tre hope the conker hunting goes well... in the US they call those things buckeyes. There is a american college football team called the ohio state buckeyes. Fans string those conkers together on necklaces for good luck. My hubby has a necklace full of 'em. Happy conker hunting!
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Edited by - Daisy Girl on 10/04/2004 21:04:59 |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2004 : 09:12:49
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I got a good one, I think they're not quite ripe enough yet to be mega conkers. I prefer stringing them then smashing the crap out of other peoples! but thats just me....
Movie theatre = cinema
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
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Domestiques
= Cult of Ray =
United Kingdom
503 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2004 : 09:54:44
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every year without fail, my sprog gives me a conker and tells me that its a lucky conker, they invariably arent lucky, however I have kept them all.
------------------------
“I want to be a star!” I cried
They said, “You’re overqualified.
Why don’t you learn to tune your damn guitar?” |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2004 : 10:34:16
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awwwwww thats so cute
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
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ShakeyShake
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1058 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2004 : 10:44:54
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Got myself three corkers of conkers today,tomorrow I will rule the playground once again!Mwahaha
"I joined the Cult of this guy / 'cause they took my other picture away |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2004 : 12:05:25
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hey shakey boy, my conkers are better than your conkers.
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
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ShakeyShake
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1058 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2004 : 14:30:37
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Oooh is that a challenge?Let's get together and compare conkers and we'll see just how betterer yours are
"I joined the Cult of this guy / 'cause they took my other picture away |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2004 : 22:31:44
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grrr thats fighting talk
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2004 : 09:06:04
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Tre, do you have stampsies when you play conkers?
Help me! He keeps making me post!
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2004 : 09:09:29
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stampsies? what is stampsies?
[edit] I think I know is that where you stomp on it if the other person misses your conker altogether, no I don't just mano et mano conker on conker
and mike, please, one does not play conkers, it's WAR damnit
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
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Edited by - n/a on 10/06/2004 09:12:09 |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2004 : 09:45:54
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Haha! Yeah that is it. If it was war for you, then you would have stampsies!
Help me! He keeps making me post!
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2004 : 09:49:05
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it'd be really unfair, you haven't seen my boots
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2004 : 18:07:20
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You Brits and your crazy customs! Conkers, cricket, Parliament...
"Signature quotes are so lame." --Nathan |
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A Big Shiny Conker
