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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =

United Kingdom
17125 Posts

Posted - 11/08/2006 :  04:53:50  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Heywood, Newo - quit joking around and spill!


I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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HeywoodJablome
* Dog in the Sand *

USA
1485 Posts

Posted - 11/08/2006 :  08:03:34  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Well the platypus fur is the perfect counter-part to those porcupine quills. Ah, it hurts so good.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"No one cares about your shitty band."
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -

Ireland
11546 Posts

Posted - 11/10/2006 :  13:09:00  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I used be a milkman, and one frosty morning, I was leaving 2 pints of milk, a pot of cream and a carton of orange juice on a doorstep, when the door flew open-and out stepped two page 3 stunners with rather large globes! They invited me in for a shocking exclusive steamy romp shesh! Unfortunately, I had to refuse, as I had a few more houses to do.

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KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *

1972 Posts

Posted - 11/15/2006 :  07:26:51  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
almost.
she pulled both me and my friend into bed after a night of drinking at her place.
i generally concentrated on her lower half.
no actual sex happened.
she completely freaked out (is a local special ed teacher and was worried about rep) and i never talk to her anymore...mainly cause she's sort of a bitch and did the same thing to another friend - was all open and willing one night and then the next day loses her fucking mind with guilt and says everything was bullshit.

that was two years ago.
it sucked really - the next day we're talking and i told her what had happened and she said something like "i feel like im gonna throw up"
nice.
thanks.
freak.
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <

USA
3111 Posts

Posted - 11/15/2006 :  08:16:25  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
That would be me. When I'm drunk, it almost sounds like a good idea. But I know I'd be overwhelmed with guilt the next day. Maybe if I were 18 again, not married with children.


I could not find my honeycomb.
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -

Ireland
11546 Posts

Posted - 11/16/2006 :  12:56:21  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
What do you call three small insects in bed? A fleasome!!

Okay, I'm leaving, I'm leaving!

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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <

Canada
4307 Posts

Posted - 11/16/2006 :  13:26:50  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
i have had a few, both ways. i had one once where i was fucking the girl and she was giving my friend a bj, she was on her back and he was on his knees dipping his cock in her mouth, he kept reaching down towards her vagina/my cock, i had to grab his hand a couple times to prevent any male/male contact, i busted quickly and left the room.


The waxworks were an immensely eloquent dissertation on the wonderful ordinariness of mankind.
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Broken Face
-= Forum Pistolero =-

USA
5157 Posts

Posted - 11/16/2006 :  13:33:41  Show Profile  Visit Broken Face's Homepage  Reply with Quote
That's almost poetry shiney...

-Brian - http://bvsrant.blogspot.com
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =

United Kingdom
17125 Posts

Posted - 11/16/2006 :  14:07:23  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by shineoftheever

i have had a few, both ways. i had one once where i was fucking the girl and she was giving my friend a bj, she was on her back and he was on his knees dipping his cock in her mouth, he kept reaching down towards her vagina/my cock, i had to grab his hand a couple times to prevent any male/male contact, i busted quickly and left the room.


The waxworks were an immensely eloquent dissertation on the wonderful ordinariness of mankind.



I normally pay one fifty a minute for that shit.


I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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vilainde
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<

Niue
7446 Posts

Posted - 11/16/2006 :  16:07:57  Show Profile  Visit vilainde's Homepage  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by shineoftheever
i had to grab his hand a couple times to prevent any male/male contact



So I guess double anal penetrations were out of the question then?


Denis

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Erebus
* Dog in the Sand *

USA
1834 Posts

Posted - 11/16/2006 :  19:14:22  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Carl

I used be a milkman, and one frosty morning, I was leaving 2 pints of milk, a pot of cream and a carton of orange juice on a doorstep, when the door flew open-and out stepped two page 3 stunners with rather large globes!
Those would be "udders", milkman. (With apologies to, and affection for, the cows, er, ladies.) [But, points, Carl, for the Page 3 reference: Evil Empire papers have no Page 3, Pythagoras notwithstanding.]

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Erebus
* Dog in the Sand *

USA
1834 Posts

Posted - 11/16/2006 :  19:15:41  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by vilainde

quote:
Originally posted by shineoftheever
i had to grab his hand a couple times to prevent any male/male contact



So I guess double anal penetrations were out of the question then?

And out of the answer.


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Erebus
* Dog in the Sand *

USA
1834 Posts

Posted - 11/16/2006 :  19:19:14  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by coastline
But I know I'd be overwhelmed with guilt the next day.
Odds are one of them will be somebody you're rather not wake up next to.


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jimmy
= Cult of Ray =

USA
876 Posts

Posted - 11/18/2006 :  04:10:27  Show Profile  Visit jimmy's Homepage  Reply with Quote
So I'm at this kid's house watching tv with him and his girlfriend, who I'd just met that night. We're drinking and they're making out ( on the couch, I'm on the left side, he's in the middle, she's on the other side ) he asks her to blow him, he strips completely naked, I'm watching some Steven Segal movie, just staring at the screen, not absorbing any of the movie, just trying to act natural-

I'd rather die than reject anyone in any way, or hurt someone's feelings and while they're both fun & cool, ( & she's beautiful & 20, and I wish I looked like him ) I did my very best, using body language to send out two distinct messages:
1) "Noooo, this doesn't make me uncomfortable at all"
2) "Thank you, but no"

After they finished things went back to normal, mostly, and later when he asked if I'd maybe like to take off my shirt, or make out with him, I declined as if I'd been offered a second cup of coffee, then desperately searched for something to say to change the subject. I asked if he knew when his brother would be back from the bar, then immediately thought " Oh shit, now it sounds like maybe I'd be into it if his brother was here."

The times I've been to gay bars nobody's ever come on to me, three times in the past two years guys have asked if they could blow me or jerk me off and all those guys have either had girlfriends or been engaged.
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =

United Kingdom
17125 Posts

Posted - 11/20/2006 :  07:31:13  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Erebus

quote:
Originally posted by coastline
But I know I'd be overwhelmed with guilt the next day.
Odds are one of them will be somebody you're rather not wake up next to.






The porcupine.


I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -

Ireland
11546 Posts

Posted - 11/20/2006 :  08:02:49  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Has anyone ever had a bestial threesome?

Oh, that lowered the tone somewhat....

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vilainde
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<

Niue
7446 Posts

Posted - 01/29/2007 :  04:57:06  Show Profile  Visit vilainde's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Did you know iguanas have 2 penises? Puts the threesome idea on a whole new light.


Denis

"Can you hear me? I aint got shit to say."
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mcil
- FB Fan -

United Kingdom
148 Posts

Posted - 01/29/2007 :  05:04:28  Show Profile  Click to see mcil's MSN Messenger address  Reply with Quote
as do European Earwigs, one for special occaissions, apparantley

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.myspace.com/mcil13
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -

Ireland
11546 Posts

Posted - 01/29/2007 :  14:51:13  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
You learn a lot on this forum.
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile

3575 Posts

Posted - 02/01/2007 :  13:39:58  Show Profile  Visit GypsyDeath's Homepage  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Carl

You learn a lot on this forum.



That has to be Post Of The Week, you crack me up carl!



"I'm not much like my generation,
Their music only hurts my ears" ~ Kasey Chambers
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