| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
Omer
= Cult of Ray =
275 Posts |
 Posted - 12/29/2002 : 12:05:38
|
Well, My GF dumped me last week, so I thought I'd start a topic about boys and girls and hemaphroditases (is that a word?)
Remember, the mantra is 'Do not go gently into the good night, bitch, bitch , bitch
against the comming of the dark'.
What I didn't get about my Ex, was how everything was like perfect (at least I thought so), one day, and then the very next day, I call her and she's like "I'm breaking up with you" Like, what the fuck is that all about? It makes me feel shitty because it's like, what we had must've been a BIG FAT LIE, if she just didn't tell me anything!
Anyway, that's my rant, what's yours?
|
|
|
St. Francis
= Cult of Ray =
Canada
548 Posts |
Posted - 12/29/2002 : 13:04:45
|
Welcome to your twenties dude...not much else to say... sleep with a friend maybe? Find girls often lie... more so before they dump your ass... not makeing light, just something I learnt in the past year and a half.
Yeah! Me! |
Edited by - St. Francis on 12/29/2002 13:06:04 |
 |
|
|
zanni67
= Bio Elf =
643 Posts |
Posted - 12/29/2002 : 13:05:33
|
That does suck, Omer. Speaking as a woman, I have to say I've never done that, I mean I'm not trying to say I'm better than your ex, but just that I can't be all happy one day and then dump someone the next. That's a rotten thing to do to someone, whether it girl to boy or vice versa.
I don't know how people do that, I mean go on, sometimes for years, seemingly happy, and then BAM, "I'm out of here" one day all of a sudden.
Guys can be just as confusing tho, I've been the victim of a few 'winners'. Kiss me one night and then act like I have the black plague the next time I see you. Or better yet, have sex and then after hearing "I can't wait to see you again", never fucking hear from them again, or get the "Well I'm married/already have a girlfriend/just want to be friends" speech. What is that about???? I mean I just don't get it.
Ok, well, you asked, and that's my rant. Sorry...
Zan
|
|
|
|
zanni67
= Bio Elf =
643 Posts |
Posted - 12/29/2002 : 13:06:18
|
Hey SF, looks like we were replying in sync! HAHA!! (Get it??)
Zan
|
|
|
|
Dave Noisy
Minister of Chaos
Canada
4496 Posts |
Posted - 12/29/2002 : 14:28:47
|
Hey, i'd like to make one clarification here....that is, it isn't specifically 'girls' or 'guys' - it's people.
People are weird.
I've had this happen to me, and i can honestly say i've felt the same about other people.
I was with one girl, Michelle, for two years. We argued a fair bit, and didn't seem to have much in common...and eventually i realized we just had what i call a 'comfort' relationship. It isn't bad enough that either of us wants to leave, but neither of us were growing, or really gaining anything significant from the relationship.
So i broke it off...
Just recently i dated a girl seriously for a few weeks...i hadn't been with anyone for over a year, and it was neat because she was persuing me..which i'd never experienced before. So i went with it, but all in all i wasn't feeling very strong about her, and i called that one off too...luckily it was not a lot of time to get attached to each other.
And it seems my other two previous relationships something like this happened to me..bwammo, on my ass. I didn't 'do' anything wrong, it just wasn't working for them.
Like when you meet someone, and they're hitting on you, and you just ain't feeling nothing for them... Sometimes you'll feel something, and it'll just go away. If you've been in a significant relationship, i think it's important to try and figure out what the cause is, together, and hopefully it can be resolved. (Well, it will, either you're together or not, resolution!!)
But really, when you're on the recieving end, is there truly anything they can say to make you feel better? Even if they tell you exactly why, does it help you in any way?
I've resolved myself try and not ask 'why' any more. I don't think it really helps.
When dumped, remember that you don't need the person. You never did. You are a complete, wonderful and interesting person, with or without a girl/boyfriend. You will feel alone for a while, but will get over it and meet someone else who you find interesting, probably in a different way tho, and that's cool.
There you have it, relationships 101 by Dave Noisy.
Please consume grain of salt now. |
|
|
|
zanni67
= Bio Elf =
643 Posts |
Posted - 12/29/2002 : 14:48:55
|
Wow, that is some really well thought out stuff Dave. Good thoughts, great points!
Sorry to hear about your recent girlfriend issues tho, I didn't know. (Obviously)
I think knowing 'why' may help in some cases, but that's just me. In general, I think you are right tho, at that point what does it matter.
back to my Red Dog (cheap beer),
Zan
|
|
|
|
St. Francis
= Cult of Ray =
Canada
548 Posts |
Posted - 12/29/2002 : 16:14:44
|
Preach on Brotha Noisy! I'll submit some dating agnst later...
Yeah! Me! |
Edited by - St. Francis on 12/29/2002 17:07:42 |
|
|
|
Leah
= Cult of Ray =
United Kingdom
314 Posts |
Posted - 12/30/2002 : 02:13:01
|
I have only this to say; its never simple to see reason from either side of the gender fence.
Story for y'all to illustrate my point:
I agreed during a good point in my relationship with bloke, to travel 8 hours cross country to his sistere house and cook Xmas dinner for 9 (Sister, hubby, kids & his parents). Then we book a holiday for the first week of January.
Then I get to the point where I don't want bloke near me because of all the things I've been speaking to him about (as normal he was'nt listening when I was telling him how unhappy i felt). This makes me think that xmas with his folks could be a nightmare given the tension between he & I and could overspill into the holiday and since I don't see the point of xmas anyhoo, I figure perhaps separate xmas's would help. See, from my side of the gender fence it was a perfectly logical solution - he goes away, gives me some space & time alone - and letting him spend time thinking about our relationship rather than ignoring what I've been saying or just papering over the cracks with flowers and temporary romance.
So upshot is he goes & spends xmas without me & his friends all act like I'm some kind of superbitch.
Which I frankly think is an overreaction to a non-problem.
Every choice human being strives instinctively for a citadel and a secrecy where he is saved from the crowd -
Nietzsche |
|
|
|
fallus
- FB Fan -
Belgium
94 Posts |
Posted - 12/30/2002 : 04:52:56
|
Well, I have been in a relationship for 5 years, I lived together with that girl for 2,5 years and we have a daughter who recently became 3. But this summer she walked out on me, because she fell in love with our neighbour. They live together now (not next to me, thank god. They moved a few streets away). I'm still good friends with this girl (hey, we have a kid together, it would be a terrible thing if we became enemies, because we both want what's best for our girl), but I really hate the other guy. He was my neighbour and my friend - or he pretended to be - and then he steals my girlfriend. Bastard.
I also still have a lot of contact with my ex's brother and sister, and they hate that guy too. Because he's a hypocrite. I don't like the fact that he lives in the same house as my daugther (I heard she spit in his face a couple of days ago, and a while back she slammed a door in his face, hooray for her!) but what can I do about this? Not a lot I guess. At least he's not mistreating her. And I do get to see her more than most fathers do in my situation.
BTW, in case anyone is wondering, I'm 22.
This is not a signature. |
|
|
|
billgoodman
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Netherlands
6213 Posts |
Posted - 12/30/2002 : 06:10:50
|
Fallus, that's realy difficult to live with. I mean, I would really beat up that guy, which is, I guess, the wrong thing to do...
He spends more time with your little girl, then you do....
that sucks
''it's not a box, it's a submarine'' |
|
|
|
fallus
- FB Fan -
Belgium
94 Posts |
Posted - 12/30/2002 : 06:20:26
|
No he doesn't. He works from like 13h to 22h so he isn't really around a lot. Most of the time that he's at home, she's at school or sleeping, which is good. And even if he was home more, I don't think he would spend a lot of quality time with her. He doesn't even buy her any food, he basically spends all his money on his car. I don't think my daugther will ever see him as a dad. Recently she told me I was the sweetest guy in the entire world, which meant a lot to me.
This is not a signature. |
|
|
|
ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 12/30/2002 : 06:34:20
|
Fallus, that is sad but sweet - I am glad you and your daughter are so close. My parents split when I was three and I got to remain close to both of them, it was very important to them and I STILL think my dad is a sweetheart, I am sure your daughter will remember all that great stuff for her whole life. The fact that she has this faux stepdad has nothing to do with you and her, so I hope you will hold that close.
As for the guy vs. girl stuff - hell if I know. I think we all get so worried and consumed with being hurt, we try and guard ourselves so much and that makes it worse. I won't even go into my personal story right now, except to say that girls have the rep as being super dramatic and emotional but in my experience it has been the other way around. Maybe I should stop dating musicians?
|
|
|
|
Omer
= Cult of Ray =
275 Posts |
Posted - 12/30/2002 : 08:50:29
|
wow, LOTS of replys! I guess lots of people have relationship problems.
Dave - I'd like to know why. I want like a detailed, second by second description of everything I've done wrong. It's like, this way, I get all paranoid about stuff. But I guess that's just my personal fucked up self.
Omer |
|
|
|
Dave Noisy
Minister of Chaos
Canada
4496 Posts |
Posted - 12/30/2002 : 10:58:37
|
hehe - **everyone** has relationship problems.
Well, anyone who's had a relationship. ;) |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
Topic Locked
