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mcmikey
= Cult of Ray =
799 Posts |
 Posted - 01/30/2004 : 13:26:23
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nah...what you really need is whisky. You're a mean bastard when you're sober!
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peace, I'm out |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2004 : 13:29:10
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| Mine's a vodka and coke, actually...whiskey makes yah nuts! (Er, maybe I have been drinking whiskey...?) |
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mcmikey
= Cult of Ray =
799 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2004 : 13:31:01
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vodka? what are you some commie sympathizer???? well, it IS made from potatoes though, isn't it?
One of these days perhaps I'll be in Ireland and I"ll make a special trip to wherever you are, just to buy you a pint
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peace, I'm out |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2004 : 13:34:05
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Actually, it is, I think. Poteen is, anyway, but vodka...a damn RED drink? Thaw out tha' Duke! Your very welcome to come over and buy me a pint..or two...or etc.
CARL. |
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GoddessTheory
= Cult of Ray =
USA
675 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2004 : 13:37:35
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I'l buy you a Quart, ye olde gobshite, ya.
Saints and begora.
All the nuns that taught me were Irish. And me grandfather's name is Flanagan and me other Grandfather's family came from Cork. |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2004 : 13:43:30
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| It's like the Irish gestapo! Nuns usually are Irish...Kurt Cobain had Cork roots, I think his family is of German/Irish descent(Tom Hagan, eat your heart out!) |
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IceCream
= Quote Accumulator =
USA
1850 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2004 : 13:44:01
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Someone has to tell your daughter it's getting old, Carolyn. You can't fake laugh forever. Or can you?
I can't remember the joke verbatim, but I heard a really dumb one about "Steer Trek" once.
_________________________
Tim, the only one who laughs |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2004 : 13:56:53
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| Ach she's 4, I'll let her have it for a little while longer, um Egan (jk;). |
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SpudBoy
= Cult of Ray =
Equatorial Guinea
649 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2004 : 18:21:33
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quote:
Originally posted by GoddessTheory
...me other Grandfather's family came from Cork.
That explains your wooden sense of humor. Oi!
 I looked for a cult to join, then decided to just play "Sink". Hey! I sank WallaWalla Washington! |
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SpudBoy
= Cult of Ray =
Equatorial Guinea
649 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2004 : 18:23:38
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quote:
Originally posted by mcmikey
nah...what you really need is whisky. You're a mean bastard when you're sober!
Completely agree. Whisky is good. I think Bourbon is better. Booker's is the best damn drink on Earth. Have some. I am.
Ok, now to be on topic...
What's black and white and red all over and can't get through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head.
I looked for a cult to join, then decided to just play "Sink". Hey! I sank WallaWalla Washington! |
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2004 : 18:25:40
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quote:
I can't remember the joke verbatim, but I heard a really dumb one about "Steer Trek" once.
Speaking of Star Trek, did you know that Captain Kirk actually has three ears? A right ear, a left ear, and a final front ear.
-Nathan
And how does lemur's skin reflect the sea?
http://vovat.blogspot.com/ |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2004 : 18:43:56
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A pirate walks into a bar....and the bartender notices there's a steering wheel down the front of the pirate's pantaloons. Bemused, he asks "Hey there, fine sir, hope you don't mind me noticing, but you have a steering wheel down the front of your pants."
And the pirate replies post-haste: "Yarrrr!!! And it's drivin' me nuts, matey!!
"Wir müssen wissen. Wir werden wissen." |
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2004 : 19:27:24
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Why did the chicken cross the cow?
To get to the udder side!
-Nathan
And how does lemur's skin reflect the sea?
http://vovat.blogspot.com/ |
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Little Black Francis
> Teenager of the Year <
3648 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2004 : 20:36:48
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How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call her and tell her where you are.
What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
I find that ducks' opinion of me is highly influenced on whether or not I have bread.
I used to do drugs, I still do, but I used to too.
...
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Edited by - Little Black Francis on 01/30/2004 21:14:13 |
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2004 : 07:52:53
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How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her!
-Nathan
And how does lemur's skin reflect the sea?
http://vovat.blogspot.com/ |
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Sir Rockabye
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1158 Posts |
Posted - 02/01/2004 : 16:51:00
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Two atoms are walking down the street and bump into each other. The first atom says to the second atom, "Hey I think I just lost an electron." The second atom says to the first atom, "Are you sure?" The first atom says, "Yes, I'm positive."
That one qualifies as a crap joke, I'm sure.
"You start a conversation you can't even finish it.
You're talkin' a lot, but you're not sayin' anything."
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Adnan_le_Terrible
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1973 Posts |
Posted - 02/01/2004 : 17:16:35
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quote:
Originally posted by PsychicTwin
Bad Joke = 99% of all puns
I think one of my English professors in college may have called a pun "the lowest form of a joke"
Kinda true, if you think about it...I mean, even the most skilled stand-up comedians avoid them like the plague, unless they are VERY masterfully used
Hey, French humour is based on puns. Your English professor is a racist.
I joined the three kitties club / And now I can participate to a secret forum with Charles. |
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Adnan_le_Terrible
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1973 Posts |
Posted - 02/01/2004 : 17:23:23
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A guy organizes a dog fight. He owns a pitbull, so he thinks he will win easily, as his competitor owns a chiwawa (I hope it's spelled correctly). When the fight starts, the chiwawa jumps on the pitbull and bites his head off. The pitbull's master goes crazy :
- Hey, are you nuts, you know how much this pitbull costed me?
- And you, do you know how much I paid for the plastic surgery of my crocodile...?
I joined the three kitties club / And now I can participate to a secret forum with Charles. |
Edited by - Adnan_le_Terrible on 02/01/2004 17:23:50 |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 02/01/2004 : 21:09:55
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To follow Adnan's theme.....
There were two buddies one with a Doberman Pinscher and the other with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to his friend, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The buddy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead."
They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in. The bouncer at the door says, "Sorry, Mac, no pets allowed."
The man with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer says, "A Doberman Pinscher?"
He says, "Yes, they're using them now, they're very good."
The man at the door says, "Come on in."
The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.
Once again the bouncer says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"
The man with the Chihuahua says, "A Chihuahua??? They gave me a Chihuahua?!"
(Sorry - very crap joke.....)
"Wir müssen wissen. Wir werden wissen." |
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remig
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1734 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2004 : 03:33:49
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To continue with animals:
A farmer owns a parrot, and this one enjoys pretty much sex with the farmer's chickens, wich makes the farmer angry.
Farmer: "next time i catch you fucking a chicken, i'll shave you".
The parrot can't help it and got shaved. The day later the farmer told his parrot "my friends are coming tonight so please welcome them saying -hello-."
The first couple enters, the parrot says "HHEeeelllooo"
Then the neighbours ..."HHheeellloooo"
And enter Frank Black, with his bald head, ..." Chicken Fuckeeerrr"
Sorry
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(°L°)
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benji
> Teenager of the Year <
New Zealand
3431 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2004 : 04:25:18
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one i read in a classy mens magazine yesterday - for the English only...
Q: What have Harold Shipman and Gareth Gates got in common?
A: Neither can finish a sentance.
cook me some fucking eggs! |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2004 : 03:12:41
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quote:
Originally posted by apl4eris
A pirate walks into a bar....and the bartender notices there's a steering wheel down the front of the pirate's pantaloons. Bemused, he asks "Hey there, fine sir, hope you don't mind me noticing, but you have a steering wheel down the front of your pants."
And the pirate replies post-haste: "Yarrrr!!! And it's drivin' me nuts, matey!!
"Wir müssen wissen. Wir werden wissen."
Little coincidence here, there's an interview with FB namesake Jack Black in this month's Total Film magazine, and they ask him to tell a joke-but he can only remember the punchline, which is, you guessed it, "Your driving me nuts."
By the way, ever noticed that the other guy in Tenacious D looks a bit like Frank?
What would FB rename himself if he retired from the music industry and became a practicing physician?
Frank QUACK!
Haaaaaaaa....the bottom of the barrel has been rent assunder, and the dirt beneath is being scrapped.... |
Edited by - Carl on 02/03/2004 03:14:26 |
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benji
> Teenager of the Year <
New Zealand
3431 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2004 : 03:23:59
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one Janet from Sleater-Kinney told at a gig:
a man wrapped entirely in glad wrap (cling film or its equivalent wherever you live) walks into a doctors office,
A psychiatrist walks up to the man and says "I can clearly see your nuts!"
cook me some fucking eggs! |
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2004 : 15:55:08
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How do you get down from a horse?
You can't! You can only get down from a duck or goose!
-Nathan
And how does lemur's skin reflect the sea?
http://vovat.blogspot.com/ |
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