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Hordak
- FB Fan -
USA
180 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2003 : 00:17:51
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Greetings, all. I write this post to you in the color blue -- which quite accurately describes my mood right now. I have been listening alot to Stevie Ray Vaughn, and drinking lots of jello shooters in the dark of my motel room here in Laramie with the lights out, only my lava lamp illuminating the room, casting shadows across the walls, echoing the sadness that moves across my very being. There's an ashtray next to me which has grown increasingly high with discarded butts every day as I sit here by myself and ponder what went wrong with my life.
Today I found out that Juliette -- the girl I've been hooking up with -- has had sex with Steve in the past. I was totally crushed when I found out; it seems like I just can't get a break. I thought that things were bad when my wife left me for Steve, but then things started to look up with Juliette. I come to find out yesterday that she has, in fact, had a relationship with Steve in the past. Dammit, does that guy just get all the girls or what?! Laramie is not that big of a town, but still...what are the odds? I of course had to dump Juliette, because I just started to get this horrible image whenever we made out or did anything intimate -- the horrible visage of Steve fucking Juliette and somehow my ex at the same time, leering at me kind of like Bill Lumberg from "Office Space." It's the exact same thing, only it's happening in real life!!! Is this not a crock of shit or what?
Anyway, happy Turkey Day everybody. I'll be hard-pressed to find much to be thankful for as I sit by myself during the afternoon of a holiday I should be spending with family and eat a Hungry Man TV Dinner. Maybe I'll go out to McDonalds.
Hordak Says: I feel a little bit better now. Ebb Vicious got me off.
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Edited by - Hordak on 11/27/2003 00:18:36 |
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2003 : 00:27:31
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:-/ I'm sorry, man. That's rough. Just stick in there. Anything I can do at all?
I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. |
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
5454 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2003 : 00:36:49
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I can see how the Juliette thing is a complete shock, but other than be slow to tell you about Steve has she done anything wrong? Not to be too cold about it, but you may need her right now. |
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TarTar
* Dog in the Sand *
1965 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2003 : 00:37:00
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At first I thought you meant she'd slept with Stevie Ray Vaughn. I have no idea who Steve is. Guess I haven't been paying attention. |
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Hordak
- FB Fan -
USA
180 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2003 : 02:09:32
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I'm terribly sorry for all the stupid bullshit I've posted tonight. I am very, very drunk and I need to sober up before I go into work tomorrow...aw shit, "tomorrow" means in 3 hours, 2 if you count the time I spend getting ready.
TarTar, I'm sorry to you for pissing you off for posting stupid shit. I always end up pissing people off, just based on my sheer stupidity. History is the only thing that I've ever been good at. Everything else I'm a fucking moron in.
Good night. Please forgive me everyone and don't kick me off the forum.
Hordak Says: Is there anyone Steve hasn't had sex with?!
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jediroller
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1718 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2003 : 02:13:58
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Hordak, I think Darwin is right. It can be hard to come to terms with your partner's past, but you have to make the effort, if only because it's behind them and there's nothing they can do about it.
If I were you I'd move on. Seriously, you're only hurting yourself here. Dwelling on whatever she did before she met you won't do anybody any good.
Of course I understand the matter is ultra-sensitive because of the same guy being involved in what's happening with your wife. But Juliette has nothing to do with your divorce, does she? No need to give her, or yourself, a hard time over that.
Am I right or what?
-- "C'est la vie" whatever that means, la-de-da... |
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glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2003 : 02:20:03
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This does not even sound real to me. (Not saying it's not, but it still sounds like something that only happens in movies.)
Hordak, it's my humble opinion that you should move. Move away, move far away, from all this "shit" that's happening to you. I'm not saying run away, but just get somewhere that you can forget about it, and start again fresh. If Juliette turns out to be part of the situation where you are, well, she's not the only fish in the sea either, even after I'm sure you've heard that a million times from people about your wife. Fuck it all! Just get out of there, man.
BTW, I used to live in Laramie. Is that not wild?
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. Carl Sagan
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2003 : 09:05:14
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I've been there, sort of, Hordak, and though these guys are right that it's not her fault and you really shouldn't blame her, that doesn't change the fact that it still is like a knife in your side.
It's probably too early to date someone that was with Steve, maybe you should just tell her that, and that hopefully you can pick things back up when you've settled these things from your own past. I've tried to put it out of my mind, but it slowly drives you crazy and really ruins any therapeutic relief you might be able to derive. Then again, if she left Steve and is now with you, then that doesn't sound so bad...
If you live in a small town, it might be good to move. Away from the reminders and everybody knowing you and what's going on in your life. The only problem is you'd also be moving away from friends, and these are the times you need them.
No easy answers my friend. Just keep hanging in there. It gets better.
"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened" |
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IceCream
= Quote Accumulator =
USA
1850 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2003 : 09:13:43
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At least you have people who have been there before Hordak. |
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your mamas a pretty thing
- FB Fan -
Canada
66 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2003 : 11:03:53
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quote: Originally posted by glacial906
BTW, I used to live in Laramie. Is that not wild?
did you have sex with steve?
Show Me Your Tears In The Sand |
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mereubu
= FB QuizMistress =
USA
2677 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2003 : 19:28:11
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Hope you're feeling better, Hordak.
That sucks donkey balls that you have yet another unwanted connection to Evil Steve, but she's not with him now. It's in her past and that's where it should stay.
"I joined the Cult of Frank / And all I got was this lousy icon" |
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2003 : 22:40:11
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If it makes you feel any better, I haven't slept with Steve. But seriously, that's pretty shitty man. Sorry you couldn't have had a better Thanksgiving...you're a champ for sticking through this. I think I might use your story for a screenplay or a short story or something...it's an excellent story. Permission? Just a thought.
"I joined the Cult of Clops / If I were you, I'd sleep with one eye open." |
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Hordak
- FB Fan -
USA
180 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2003 : 07:14:26
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Yeah, go right ahead, El Barto. Here is the scenario (albeit a little bit exxagerated) The setting: somewhere out west, cold and snowy. A lone car drives down the street, a 1982 Dodge Diplomat. One of the headlights is busted out. The car comes to a sliding stop next to a red house, the houses roof covered in about a solid four or five inches of snow. A man gets out, a large man, yes, some might even say portly, but not obese. He stands up, stretches, and exhales cold fog from his nostrils, then he leans back into the car for a bag of groceries. The bag is nearly overflowing with canned goods; it is obvious that the man is stocking up with non-perishable provisions for a long, cold winter of being inside with his wife, sitting in front of a warm fireplace drinking hot cocoa and listening to Frank Black and Aretha Franklin. Sounds cozy, eh?
Then the story goes horribly awry.
The man espies a strange car in the driveway. It is a black Dodge Viper, all decked out with a sweet-looking spoiler added to the back. It looks sinister, like the Devil's car. Curious, the man walks past and brushes his gloved hand alongside the car, scooping snow from it and dropping it on the ground. He supposes it is a salesman, or one of those damn Jehova's Witnesses...maybe they reached their quota for a given month and finally got a bonus or something. Regardless, the man walks on to the front porch where the bright, cheery letters proudly proclaim "the Wilgephs" for any passersby who might chance by. The man fumbles around for his keys, and finally unlocks the door.
Then you end the movie, roll the credits, and leave everyone begging for more. (And wondering why they paid good, hard-earned money to see such an anti-climactic story.)
Hordak Says: Is there anyone Steve hasn't had sex with?!
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2003 : 22:27:08
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That is pretty anti climactic. Is that what happened or did you just make that up? I want to write beautifully depressing dramatic screenplays for the rest of my life.
"I joined the Cult of Clops / If I were you, I'd sleep with one eye open." |
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Broken Face
-= Forum Pistolero =-
USA
5155 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2003 : 18:02:31
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hordak, i've been away for a week or so, so this is the first i've read of this. let me give you the only advice i can offer : don't end it with juliette. trust me. you WILL regret it. mental images can be hard to shake - but you CAN shake them. Have you ever seen the film Chasing Amy? In that, there is discussion of coming to terms with a partner's past. You have to realize that she doesn't want Steve now, or she'd be with him, or actively trying to be with him. SHE WANTS YOU! No matter her past, her future, whatever, right now she wants to be Mrs. Hordak (in theory). i've been down a sort of not really at all similar path so i can relate to having bad mental images but trust me - those will go away. Especially once you realize that she wants you - and she isn't your ex, she won't break your heart just because it happened in the past.
phew, sorry this is a few days late, but i felt the need to chip in my 2 cents (what else is new)
-brian
- "I joined the Cult of Frank / And they tried to cut off my nuts and make me put on a blue jumpsuit"
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Ebb Vicious
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1162 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2003 : 18:24:54
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hordak, my logical and rational analysis leads me to believe you should blow your brains out with a shotgun. |
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Hordak
- FB Fan -
USA
180 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2003 : 18:56:25
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Wouldn't a handgun be less messy, yet still pretty effective? 'Cause I was thinking about doing that instead. What do you think? |
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Little Black Francis
> Teenager of the Year <
3648 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2003 : 18:58:18
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yeah, use a hand-gun bitch : ) |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2003 : 20:51:17
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Man, I apologize for this, but can we leave off the repetitive suicide advice now? It's kinda funny for a while, but who knows how people really feel/think in shitty times like this - I know my Dad (currently in the middle of my step-mother leaving him, and at the end of his rope) is on the edge, and he's made some statements that keep me worried, I'll tell ya.
I hate to be preaching - I'm sure you know this kind of stuff, especially on the internet, can go wrong just when you think all the right people have the thick skin we think they should.
Sorry, had to stick my neck out on this one. |
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Little Black Francis
> Teenager of the Year <
3648 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2003 : 21:01:51
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I feel you apl4eris
My absolute best friend...
well, his dad shot himself in the face with a shotgun when we were kids.
So, it is a sensitive subject with me as well.
However, Hordak and I have been corresponding off this site, and it's kinda' a joke between us.
You see, Hordak and I have been talking, and I feel good about our relationship. And I feel comfortable making a suicide joke with him because I think I talked him out of it.
So I am sorry Apl if I touched a nerve, I'm just trying to cheer the Joe up, you see, with jokes.
So, don't get me wrong, I know first hand what it is...
Death... to the masses... or to me, is a very sensitive subject, I'm just tring to make him realize how stupid and wrong it is...
so, don't think I made such a comment in haste... |
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Hordak
- FB Fan -
USA
180 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2003 : 21:05:42
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Not to spread my disease all over this forum than I have which makes me feel like shit even more, but Little Black and me have been talking. So I knew he was kidding. it was an inside joke. so don't be mean to him. take out all your hatred on me, so I can take it out on Steve's punk-ass again. anyway, little francis has been cool to me and helped me when I get down. its weird how a total stranger can make you realize how ridiculous your predicameent is and bring you back down to earth, make you see how aloof you are. so dont be freaked out. i'm not going to kill anyone just yet including myself |
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the swimmer
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1602 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2003 : 21:06:11
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Sometimes in the moment, a flower looks like death, no?
(Black and white clown shedding a tear cue FINE card) |
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Hordak
- FB Fan -
USA
180 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2003 : 21:21:09
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Yup. |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2003 : 21:55:51
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Ok. cool. |
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Little Black Francis
> Teenager of the Year <
3648 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2003 : 22:00:00
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is your dad ok apl?
I hope he is and you are too.
Um,
When I see your name-tag I think of apples. |
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Little Black Francis
> Teenager of the Year <
3648 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2003 : 22:04:14
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and Ares... my onlyblack cats
eris is something else I know
p.s.
(this is what the alphabeta would look like if the aphalbet excluded the letters "q" and "r") Mitch Hedberg inc.
----------------------- ain't it funny how the "don't fuck with me!" nooch
So,
what does apl4eris
mean anyhow?
curoisuly LBF |
Edited by - Little Black Francis on 12/02/2003 22:05:11 |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2003 : 22:12:09
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Wow, I'm not sure. It is a daily question for him I would guess, and I do the best I can to help him out, and also to not let him devolve into self-pity and pointless rants about the "evil witch". He has some real issues with being sexist, lazy (physically and mentally), and rather bigoted, so it makes it really hard for me to keep my mouth shut. It's hard to think that he will ever find anybody to put up with his BS. Slow conversion is all I can hope for. But yeah, hell, I'm ok! Thanks for askin.
mmmmm, apples. ahhhh....Coast to Coast AM is about to come on the radio - hurray! |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2003 : 22:16:30
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quote: Originally posted by Little Black Francis
what does apl4eris mean anyhow?curoisuly LBF
Hahaha! Well, I don't want to bore anyone with answering that one again, since it's been asked a coupla times, so I'll point you ovah heya http://forum.frankblack.net/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=4128 and I can try to answer any further questions you may have...though my answers may have to wait til tomorrow :) hhhhhmmmmmmmsleeeepy...... |
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Little Black Francis
> Teenager of the Year <
3648 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2003 : 23:22:18
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holy shit
damn
you schooled me
I thought I remembered reading that...
apl: "School'd ja'" lbf: "yeah, you got me again... : )" |
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Grizwald
- FB Fan -
Canada
100 Posts |
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glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 12/04/2003 : 09:47:45
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quote: Originally posted by Grizwald
Hey Hodark, What the hell?
The Cult Of J www.The-Cult.vze.com
You are a very annoying person. I wish that you would please read topics before posting useless drivel on every single topic that you see just to promote your stupid website. No one cares.
This might not be the most appropriate topic for me to post this on, but you commmented on so many and all were so equally useless that I couldn't really pick just one.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. Carl Sagan
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