| Author |
 Topic  |
|
the swimmer
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1602 Posts |
 Posted - 10/17/2003 : 07:35:36
|
Anyone ever read the PATHETIC GEEK STORIES (all real-all yours) in the Onion?
For the uninitiated these are stories of things you did in school or wherever that ended up being embarrasing for you.
Anyone care to share? |
|
|
floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2003 : 10:09:23
|
i have some cute stories from school, because i'm cute (as we all know), but i can't think of them at the moment..
this is a good topic though.. i commend you swimmer
mijn vriendin kan geen orgasme krijgen |
 |
|
|
Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2003 : 10:17:13
|
Let us know if you remember them Floop, and then I'll put my 2 bits in.
(Sorry, I can't help but feed the bears);) |
|
|
|
floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2003 : 10:22:35
|
i'll tell you one:
back in the day, my friends and i were quite immature and obnoxious (unlike now, where we're all highly evolved and civilized)... we used to go around and "pants" each other. ie. sneak up behind someone and pull their pants, or shorts, and underwear down simultaneously. hence, exposing their private parts to the world and causing sever humiliation and embarassment. it was quite fun..
except when it happens to you.
one of the worst times was when i was preparing to do a speach in front of my class (senior year). the teacher, who was generally clueless anyway, was outside or something, so it was just the students in class. i was up in front, getting my notes together, when one of my "friends" came behind me and did the old "pants" joke..
i was fully exposed. and not to mention, on top of that, i was wearing a pair old-ass underwear that literally had huge holes in them..
getting pantsed in front of a few people was one thing, but this was an entire class. everyone's worst speech nightmare.
good stuff, indeed.
mijn vriendin kan geen orgasme krijgen |
|
|
|
El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2003 : 10:27:59
|
That's horrible man...usually when people pants'd in my school it was just the pants, and not the underwear. How did the girls react? If it were me who got pants'd, the floor would be covered in drool. <Quagmire>Alll right</Quagmire>.
I can't think of any pathetic geek stories. Perhaps I just blocked em all out of my memory.
 "I joined the Cult of Clops / If I were you, I'd sleep with one eye open." |
|
|
|
the swimmer
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1602 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2003 : 10:31:52
|
Oi vey. Pantsing IS embarrassing. Specially if you go commando.
One time in jr. High school, in my advanced placement history class we had a very tough teacher.
Right before one big test, a few of us asked the class before us what the extra credit question was going to be and fund out.
We all came into class and I said to the teacher "I know what the extra credit question is" NOT EVEN THINKING,
She got pissed and changed the whole test to an essay test and it was because of me. That sucked and made me feel like a pathetic geek.
Then there was the time in college I burned down the kitchen in a 24 floor dorm and everyone had to evacuate (and return) without the use of elevators.
Yeah. |
|
|
|
glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2003 : 10:58:16
|
I burned up a toilet one time at a place where I used to work; made it completely black. No one ever found out it was me, though, but I was extrememly embarassed when the managers came back shocked that someone had burned it up. They ended up having to at least buy a new seat.
That doesn't really compare to burning down a kitchen in a college dorm, though. |
|
|
|
Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2003 : 11:25:22
|
Well I can't say I've been pantsed, but I have been 'dressed' and quite recently too. My friends (who are still quite immature) thought it was funny b/c I was having such a hard time keeping my strapless bride's maid gown up.
I wrote this one somewhere else I think but once at a work experience job I had I fell asleep shredding perforated paper (after a hard nite of drinkin) and got really stuck until people had to come and cut me out, that was very very embarassing. |
|
|
|
apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2003 : 11:49:54
|
| Well, I don't really have any geek stories, as I'm just a psuedo-intellectual, but I did just recently have an embarassing moment in front of a very "genteel" Bishop and bunch of snooty business people at a restaurant. My husband's grandfather, who is a a retired, 86-yr-old Episcopalian Bishop, came to visit us on his way back from seeing his ailing brother. We took him out to dinner at a nice place we hadn't been to before. When we got there, the hostess started walking at top speed across the center of this really smooth polished wood floor - the restaurant was laid out in a domed round room, tables concentrically placed. I worried that the frail Bishop was getting left behind, so I stayed back while ol hubby and the hostess were racing for the table. We had only made it to the middle of the room, and as I was turning to check on the old respectable man, my heel slipped on the highly polished floor and I went flying, purse and arms and legs flailing - where I almost landed on some surprised man's lap. The entire restaurant went quiet, everyone all dressed up or in business atire, and all staring at me like I had just escaped from the circus. I pulled myself up from laying flat on the floor, and was so flustered and supremely embarassed I started apologizing to the people around me. The acoustics of that damn room didn't help to baffle all the damn racket I made either. Oh well, that'll learn me to try to appear respectable in front of "holy" men. ;) |
Edited by - apl4eris on 10/17/2003 11:50:52 |
|
|
|
the swimmer
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1602 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2003 : 12:12:35
|
quote:
Originally posted by apl4eris
Oh well, that'll learn me to try to appear respectable in front of "holy" men. ;)
I'm sure he looked up your skirt while you went flying. i wouldn't worry about it. |
|
|
|
apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2003 : 12:18:04
|
| heh. Yeah, you're probably right. |
|
|
|
the swimmer
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1602 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2003 : 13:32:51
|
| Well, who else? |
|
|
|
mereubu
= FB QuizMistress =
USA
2677 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2003 : 15:21:50
|
I slipped and dropped my wedding cake in the rain.
Delirious w/fever, I once lost my footing and fell down the steps of the mezzanine seating of an auditorium. When I reached the bottom, I realized that my dress (a wrap-around, low-cut, velcro-closure type thingy) was many steps above me.
At my junior high prom, my best friend was walking up a long flight of steps and stepped on the hem of her dress, yanking the bodice of the dress down to the waist and revealing her in all her topless glory. At the end of the night, on my front porch, my hapless date attempted to cop a feel, and his hand became hopelessly lodged in my very tight strapless dress. A long and awkward minute elapsed while he stood at arm's length, hand down my dress, trying to figure out how to get it back out. Also, he was a dangerously clumsy kisser. I'm lucky he didn't sever a nostril.
 "I joined the Cult of Frank / And all I got was this lousy icon" |
|
|
|
El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2003 : 21:22:36
|
How many guys here had to stand up in class/get up in class for any random particular reason at a time when you happened to have a hardon? God, that's the fucking worst. I've had to many a time.
"I joined the Cult of Clops / If I were you, I'd sleep with one eye open." |
|
|
|
Dave Noisy
Minister of Chaos
Canada
4496 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2003 : 22:49:51
|
Yikes Jim...you might want to see a doctor and make sure your hormone levels are alright..?
As you can prolly guess, i'm continually embarassing myself, so no need to elaborate. Relatively few problems 'pop up' tho, so to speak.
'What can we do to get the people who pretend to care, to pretend to do something?' - Bill Mahr
 Get Noisy! |
|
|
|
realmeanmotorscutor
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1764 Posts |
Posted - 10/18/2003 : 06:27:06
|
I was going to the shower here at school the other day when my towel just completely fell off. I thought I was safe because it was early and everyone would be sleeping but when I turned around there was a girl at the end of the hall staring at me, standing like a cowboy quick draw style.
I thought those things only happened it stupid college movies.
Semper ubi sub ubi. |
|
|
|
glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 10/18/2003 : 09:28:02
|
The correct response in that situation would've been to smile, narrow your eyes, and give her the "just-fired pistols" hand gesture. Then, without replacing the towel, saunter back to your room after telling her she knows where to find you.
I got depantsed once in 7th grade, in front of an entire biology class. I was small for my age, but I was so pissed off I shoved the guy (quite a bit bigger than me) up against the wall and was about to fight him before the teacher broke it up.
|
|
|
|
realmeanmotorscutor
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1764 Posts |
Posted - 10/18/2003 : 09:56:29
|
good for you glacial. the small guys need to start a lot of shit to get respect. Anyhoo, I did give that girl a very nonchalant laugh and a smirk and just walked off. I wish I had had the presence of mind to play it as you wrote it. It was too early for me to be mortified but it is unsettling not remembering who the girl was. One of my friends said that if it had been her who saw me she would always wink at me whenever she saw me walk by.
Semper ubi sub ubi. |
|
|
|
glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 10/18/2003 : 11:38:51
|
| Whenever funny things happen to me, I'm never smooth enough initially to do or say the things that occur about two minutes later, when it would be totally inappropriate to wrench the conversation back to the funny point. I guess it does have a lot to do with one's "presence of mind" at the time. |
|
|
|
Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2003 : 08:41:42
|
quote:
Originally posted by mereubu
I slipped and dropped my wedding cake in the rain.
"I joined the Cult of Frank / And all I got was this lousy icon"
I don't know if I could take it, cuz it took so long to bake it (sorry mere). |
|
|
|
mereubu
= FB QuizMistress =
USA
2677 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2003 : 10:59:49
|
And I'll never have that recipe again. :(
"I joined the Cult of Frank / And all I got was this lousy icon" |
|
|
|
glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2003 : 11:00:27
|
This didn't happen to me, but I wish for the purposes of this topic it had, in a way. My friend's dad, when he was about 11 or 12, coached a little league baseball team, and my friend was on it. He also, unfortunately, wore very short shorts, and one day they were all crouched around him, listening to him talk about something or another. He was kneeling, resting on one knee while the other knee was out, when his testicle popped out, and he didn't know it. When you're 11 or 12 years old, this would be mortifying.
I did once go to school with a sock attatched to my shirt, on the back where I couldn't see it. Everything had been grouped together in the dryer that morning, and static cling made the sock stick to the shirt. I think I was about 9 or 10. |
|
|
|
apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2003 : 11:11:33
|
Or:
I love you, baby, I love the way that you walk, I love you, baby, I love the way that you talk, I really like it when you call my name - "Hey Braky Wacky!" Oh, I like your sister, I like your Aunt Louise, I like your doggie, hey, I even like its fleas! I really like it when you tickle me - hee hee hee hee, STOP IT!
Somebody left a cake out in the rain, OH NO! I was gonna eat that cake, but now it's all wet and I don't think I want any!
We could get married, just the two of us, And you could get a job driving a school bus. I love you, baby, will you marry me? You don't have to decide right away. Think it over. Who's it gonna hurt? Where you going?
-Brak
I just had a pathetic geek moment. YAY!
Where are we going?
Planet ten!
When?
Real soon!!
-The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension |
|
|
|
glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2003 : 11:18:47
|
 Do you know every quote in the world? |
|
|
|
apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2003 : 11:24:34
|
hahaha! ummmmmm, no, cause now I got nuthin'! ;)
Where are we going?
Planet ten!
When?
Real soon!!
-The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension |
|
|
|
rockathon
- FB Fan -
241 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2003 : 11:25:43
|
| I projectile vomited on someone's kitchen table during a big party after smoking laced marijuana. It just shot out all of a sudden. |
|
|
|
anazgnos
= Cult of Ray =
USA
383 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2003 : 11:49:33
|
One time, on a school/band trip to Las Vegas, I caused a toilet to overflow on the first night in our hotel room. Cleaning staff had to come, and it was, er, not clean water by any means.
Actually, this may have happened twice, two different years.
The geek factor is just that I was in band for all four years of High School, I guess.
 "the Cult of Eric: / where a man feels like a king / and a king feels like some kinda crazy super king" |
|
|
|
Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2003 : 11:51:50
|
| Eric, that's where you were supposed to say, "this one time at band camp...." |
|
|
|
rockathon
- FB Fan -
241 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2003 : 11:52:31
|
| I once puked in a bidet instead of a toilet at a hotel in France. It was an accident and I felt really bad for the maid. Honestly, I don't puke all that often. |
|
|
|
Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2003 : 12:01:55
|
Me neither, but I think I have one of the best/grossest puking stories ever! The first time I ever really drank it was from a 5-gallon jug of homemade portugese wine (anyone who's portugese knows what I'm talking about). Anyways I was sooooo sick and I took a great big swig and puked directly back in the jug and passed out.
I woke up the next day and the jug was empty........
Ewwww, I know. |
|
|
|
rockathon
- FB Fan -
241 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2003 : 12:09:50
|
| jesus |
|
|
|
Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2003 : 12:16:59
|
quote:
Originally posted by anazgnos
One time, on a school/band trip to Las Vegas, I caused a toilet to overflow on the first night in our hotel room. Cleaning staff had to come, and it was, er, not clean water by any means.
Actually, this may have happened twice, two different years.
The geek factor is just that I was in band for all four years of High School, I guess.
"the Cult of Eric: / where a man feels like a king / and a king feels like some kinda crazy super king"
Sweet, I love that icon. I wonder if Amazing Duck or Chroneos <ahem> would make an Eric Drew Feldman icon. It'd be cool to have little icons for all of the characters in our little play we call the Catholics, actually.
"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened" |
|
|
|
apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2003 : 12:20:24
|
quote:
Originally posted by Cult_Of_Frank
quote:
Originally posted by anazgnos
One time, on a school/band trip to Las Vegas, I caused a toilet to overflow on the first night in our hotel room. Cleaning staff had to come, and it was, er, not clean water by any means.
Actually, this may have happened twice, two different years.
The geek factor is just that I was in band for all four years of High School, I guess.
"the Cult of Eric: / where a man feels like a king / and a king feels like some kinda crazy super king"
Sweet, I love that icon. I wonder if Amazing Duck or Chroneos <ahem> would make an Eric Drew Feldman icon. It'd be cool to have little icons for all of the characters in our little play we call the Catholics, actually.
"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened"
Yeah! And can I have one with Eric and his elephant nose-thingy like somebody said he had on when playing with the Residents recently? I love your Cult of Eric saying, by the way!
Where are we going?
Planet ten!
When?
Real soon!!
-The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension |
|
|
|
anazgnos
= Cult of Ray =
USA
383 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2003 : 13:40:05
|
quote:
Originally posted by Carolynanna
Eric, that's where you were supposed to say, "this one time at band camp...."
it wasn't band camp...there is no such thing as band camp...also i'm not familiar with that reference
"the Cult of Eric: / where a man feels like a king / and a king feels like some kinda crazy super king" |
|
|
|
anazgnos
= Cult of Ray =
USA
383 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2003 : 13:42:21
|
quote:
"the Cult of Eric: / where a man feels like a king / and a king feels like some kinda crazy super king"
Sweet, I love that icon. I wonder if Amazing Duck or Chroneos <ahem> would make an Eric Drew Feldman icon. It'd be cool to have little icons for all of the characters in our little play we call the Catholics, actually.
[i] "Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened"
[/quote]
Actually, it's supposed to be me: I'm Eric, and I have blonde hair. But you can interpret it any way you want...the common black haired one doesn't actually represent any body in the band...
"the Cult of Eric: / where a man feels like a king / and a king feels like some kinda crazy super king" |
|
|
|
blarg007
= Cult of Ray =
USA
493 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2003 : 13:53:50
|
me and some friends went to the motocross track out on the out skirts of town in Lake Havasu,
Az and brought a can of gas or two as we thought it would be cool to set a pile of tires on
fire we had seen out there at the races....
...you have no idea how combustible nice desert dried tires are...
there were four of us and we had walked around dumping gas all over this thing.
when it was lit it actually blinded us for a few seconds as it went up pretty damn fast.
we ran and piled into the truck and i remember looking back and seeing a huge wall of flame
as we made it back to the highway.
on the drive back the smell of burning tires was already infiltrating the town and we passed a fire truck on it's way out.
when we pulled into the downtown area you could see a haze settling on the town in the street
lights, thru the next day the fire still smoldered and i guess it made the news fairly big time
as the smoke had drifted over to San Bernadino, CA.
we were scared shitless at getting caught for this one -me and my one friend had gotten busted for opening up a fire hydrant and practically draining the cities water supply
(..that's how they found us: by the water pressure drop)-it was 120 degrees out and we didn't have a ride to the lake so hey. the cops took us soaking wet into the station and called our parents -i remember my friend tom tried to run from the cop barefoot in the desert.
-ANYWAY we had heard the news on T.V. the next day and suffice it to say we didn't tell a soul.
til now.
er, me anyway.
the real stinker is when us four made the front page for smashing don behling's fathers car
into a huge landscaping bolder at @ 60mph head on (the cops did the skid mark measuring -but
i'm sure we were doing under fifty when we hit) as we all survived unscathed.
me and the guy in back saw it coming and ducked into the back of the front seat.
-the two guys up front i'm not sure how they made it but they did.
it was a '73 pontiac grand prix with a turbomatic 400 transmission and ol' don behling was a
dirt bike racer -we all were actually and the passenger guy (tom) says to a guy on a 750 honda
as he pulls up beside us "hey, you wanna race?" -the guy guns it and the light changed and don
couldn't resist -he guns it and next thing you know were doin' 70mph in a 25 in the middle of downtown in this big boat af an american car approaching a SHARP curve that goes around a nice landscaped fountain.
the guy on the bike being coherent backs off and we go flying past him and tom says "pitch it"
-like thats going to save us -apparantly the thinking was that if you could pull a Starsky and hutch and pitch the car sideways correctly -that you could negotiate the corner -maybe in
another lifetime or at least under 65 mph...
so the way it worked is that he did go for a pitch but all that did was point us head on into this huge (HUGE) rock and when he blipped the brakes we went into a skid straight into the rock. the engine was still palpitating -in the dash area...and we somehow all piled out unscathed to see the biker motor by waving goodbye (he apparantly at least saw that we were o.k.)-a news photographer happened to be driving nearby and got a nice shot for the paper.
-they had to tow the car somewhere and elected to drop it at don's house -in the driveway.
-just before is dad got home from work.
-it was a horrible day...
r |
|
|
|
Topic |
|
Topic Locked
