| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Helmut |
Posted - 05/12/2013 : 19:39:26
I play in a psych-rock type garage band and we have recently lost 2 long term members (guitarist and drummer). Once we dusted ourselves off we got a new guitarist then we went on the hunt for a drummer. Some chick turned up saying she was a drummer and she didn't have a drum kit but said she was going to bring it to the next practice. In the meantime we got a really good drummer but in the meantime the guitarist and the chick started getting it on and she would come to practice trying to be a singer. We already have 2 singers and the one song she sings you cannot hear over the guitars, her backing vocals are out of tune, she refuses to bring anyone to gigs, gives us attitude at practice (when she bothers to turn up) and speaks to us through the guitarist. She is always coming down off drugs, and the first drummer quit because she made us look so shit on stage. I wanted to kick her out ages ago but we will probably loose the guitarist when she goes. I don't want this but we will break up in a month if she stays. She contributes nothing to the band, you literally cannot hear her. I am at the point where I want to throw in the towel and break up the band rather than spend a minute longer with her. Rant, vent over.
|
| 22 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Helmut |
Posted - 05/16/2013 : 05:06:18
I wish...he kinda burned his bridges...a very talented yet complicated guy. |
| Discoking |
Posted - 05/16/2013 : 03:01:56
maybe you can get the old guitarist back?
 it's educational |
| Arm Arm Arm |
Posted - 05/16/2013 : 03:00:05
Maybe get the old guitarist back in the band?
|
| Helmut |
Posted - 05/15/2013 : 19:37:05
Haha yeah that song is a bit of a stoner joke. The old guitarist was awesome and it was hard to see him go as he was a mate as well. Now he isn't doing anything, not playing, nothing.
We still haven't actually booted her yet, the guitarist kinda did a runner after the gig when we brought it up. |
| danjersey |
Posted - 05/15/2013 : 18:53:48
Hey, thanks for sharing. After watching and listening to that clip I think you may want to embrace your inner smack head. The lyrics, as far as I could tell we're something along the lines of "never wanting to come down" and "getting high". If your newest member has a drug problem it's probably not a coincidence that she has found her way onto the same stage as you. Again, I'd love to see this other person "fucking it up" for the rest of you. |
| Arm Arm Arm |
Posted - 05/15/2013 : 18:38:46
So, you're singing and the guy to your left is the guitarist who had the meltdown, right? I really liked what he was doing at around 3:14. Too bad you lost him. And now his replacement. Sorry it went that way. I like this song, Good stuff.
Well, at least she's gone now and I hope you guys can pull it together with a new stable, creative guitarist.
|
| danjersey |
Posted - 05/15/2013 : 18:18:04
Can you post a live performance with "smack head" doing her thing? I hate to say this but she sounds like the most interesting aspect of the band.
|
| Helmut |
Posted - 05/15/2013 : 18:14:20
This is before: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtQ3lq-1m_8
I'll try get some footage from last night. |
| Helmut |
Posted - 05/15/2013 : 17:17:21
So we played a gig last night, the chick took centre stage, sang shit gave us attitude etc. I sang most of the songs and covered her mistakes so we sounded alright. Then the guitarist comes over and says he's writing more songs for her to sing and she is the front person now...she can't sing in tune and you can't hear her. We told him she isn't doing any more songs, she doesn't fit the style of the band, etc, then he kinda just left. So we've pretty much lost a guitarist and a drummer because of this talentless chick. We've gone from playing big shows with "scene bands" in Melbourne, including one in front of Nick Cave, to these shitty little mid week shows while we work to get a workable line up together (we took a massive hit when our talented lead guitarist had a meltdown and quit via twitter last year, and our fill-in mate on drums who was with us for 2.5 years decided he wanted to become a folk singer which we were cool with) and smack head just keeps fucking it for us. |
| BLT |
Posted - 05/14/2013 : 13:59:52
Spike her heroin with Drano. |
| vilainde |
Posted - 05/13/2013 : 23:00:14
Wait for her to spontaneously combust on stage. Shouldn't be long.
Denis
Obsidiana Bijoux |
| hammerhands |
Posted - 05/13/2013 : 22:16:07
Find her a better looking boyfriend in a shittier band. |
| Srisaket |
Posted - 05/13/2013 : 18:03:32
quote:
Originally posted by vilainde
Find a good drummer and have him kick out the girl on stage mid-gig, Keith Moon style. "MY MUM PLAYS BETTER THAN YOU!"
Denis
Obsidiana Bijoux
Send her a copy of Pete Best's autobiography and then sack her?
You could also do what the Sisters of Mercy (and others) have done and buy a drum machine instead.
This forum's favourite band (The Cult) sacked loads of drummers. I think that one in particular was so shit and annoying that they bought him a drum kit as a leaving gift - just so he got the hint.
Regarding your situation I would have to agree with the advice given by BLT above. |
| Helmut |
Posted - 05/13/2013 : 15:06:03
Haha thanks for the advice. I guess sending an email is the modern day equivalent of sending a fax to break up the band. Already on the case to find a new guitar player. As much as we love the current guitar guy he's not a mate (we found him on a muso forum) so its nothing personal if he decides to go with the talentless groupie. And we already lost a top notch drummer because of her and myself and the other guy are ready to throw in the towel rather than spend another 5 minutes with her. Bands. I thought they were meant to be fun, lol. |
| vilainde |
Posted - 05/13/2013 : 06:16:23
Find a good drummer and have him kick out the girl on stage mid-gig, Keith Moon style. "MY MUM PLAYS BETTER THAN YOU!"
Denis
Obsidiana Bijoux |
| BLT |
Posted - 05/13/2013 : 05:58:42
Throw her Nancy Spungen ass out. If the guitarist goes with her, good riddance! That's what he gets for thinking with his little head. When it comes to your band, "bro's before ho's" is the axiom.
Good luck! |
| Arm Arm Arm |
Posted - 05/12/2013 : 22:50:59
That sounds pretty good. Forgot about the simplicity of email...! Spares you the face-to-face drama.
I hope he makes the right choice.
That's great that you have a good drummer.
Again, good luck with this situation and with the band.
cheers |
| Helmut |
Posted - 05/12/2013 : 22:37:10
I think we will lose the guitarist as he stood up for her when we tried to nicely give her the boot a couple months back, and we lost the drummer as a result. We just got a new drummer after a lot of fucking around who is really good, and cannot afford to lose him. We are going to tell the guitarist after our gig this week that she's out, no ifs or buts, and that we want him to stay but understand if he leaves with her (even though he'd be an idiot to do so). She has been such a drain on everyone and has a real junkie/Courtney Love type attitude so we really don't want to give her much. I am thinking I'll send her this "While the band is having some downtime we have come to the realisation we don't need a third singer. We appreciate the time and effort you have put in over the last few months and encourage you to use your talent to find a band you can front 100% of the time." It is a bit shit, but shes been pretty shit to everyone else sans the guitarist. |
| Arm Arm Arm |
Posted - 05/12/2013 : 22:08:12
Conversely, if the guitarist is key to you guys, a one-of-a-kind player (ex. Joey Santiago) upon whose playing the whole band rides, and if she goes/he goes, maybe just have her vocal mike cut without her knowing it on stage and ride it out, hoping they'll break up at some point and he'll stay in the band.
From your post, it doesn't sound like this is an option but I thought I'd toss the suggestion at you anyway. |
| Arm Arm Arm |
Posted - 05/12/2013 : 22:03:32
Oh yeah, definitely know what you're going to say before you tell her and have an exit strategy, even if it's just getting up and leaving. There's a difference between letting her have her say (which could be good, let her get her anger out then and there so she can move on and it doesn't stew and come back at you in the future) and letting her go on and on and on. You can always pre-arrange a friend to call you five or ten minutes after you tell her and use that as your cue to leave so the moment ends instead of becoming a dragged out scene.
I listened to Ten to One and liked it. |
| Arm Arm Arm |
Posted - 05/12/2013 : 21:52:07
This is just my opinion, never been in a band. Perhaps someone with more experience will chime in.
Talk to them separately? Not knowing these people, I don't know, maybe talk to him first, then her. Maybe have him present when you fire her so she can't lie about what you said or did.
Definitely talk to her in a public safe space with lots of people around, coffee shop, mall food court, so there are witnesses in case she gets angry. Don't get angry (easier said than done, perhaps) and stay calm. This isn't a debate. She doesn't get to offer counter-arguments.
Tell her directly and calmly that she's out of the band. Keep it short and simple. It doesn't work, her voice doesn't fit/no musical chemistry/it's you guys not her/whatever you want to go with and that's it. Short. You're being courteous, you don't owe her a detailed breakdown. She can no longer come to rehearsals and has to watch from the audience. Make sure she doesn't have a key to your practice space (if you have one) or switch to a new one.
He may want to tell her this, which is understandable but I think you (or someone else in the band) needs to tell her as well. It's the right thing to do. From her perspective, she thinks she's in the band, probably thinks she can sing. Telling her directly is the honorable thing to do; also, she can't tell the guitarist that you guys treated her like crap. She could, but you at least took the time to directly tell her she's out. You're honest, calm and direct. How she deals with it is on her. Hopefully she'll just move on.
If you really have good musical chemistry with him, stress that with him and point out how it doesn't happen all the time and you have to savor it. Stress how much you want him in the band, how her presence lead to the other drummer quitting, has no vocal ability etc. Tell the guitarist you want him in the band, what he does in his private time is his business but she can't be onstage because she doesn't contribute to the band, can't sing, etc. If you can reference incidents that he was present for/moments where she ruined things, then do so and remind him. Again, tell him how much you want and enjoy playing with him, need him in the band but she cannot be in it...ever. Focus on the positives with him and his playing and how he works in the band.
Hopefully he'll see sense. He may try to compromise with you but it sounds like that wouldn't work. She may influence him to quit or get her back in the band in some shape or form (she'll just watch from side stage, she'll work the merch table, etc.) but I don't think it would be a good idea. She can be his girlfriend, his fuck-buddy, etc but has NOTHING to do with the band. It's a clean break.
If it's between kicking her out or breaking up the band....kick her out! If it goes badly and he quits for her sake, you can find another guitarist. Who knows, you could find someone fits even better. But it may still work out with him.
This went on longer than I thought. Whatever you do, stay calm and good luck! |
| pot |
Posted - 05/12/2013 : 21:04:38
Ban her. Turn that band member into a banned member. Simply insert a 'ne' into her status while she is not looking and hey presto, problem solved. No need to thank me.
** https://twitter.com/artStuvsSeaton ** https://plus.google.com/u/0/109863394112152727620/posts ** |
