| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Supersumomegafrankfan |
Posted - 09/18/2007 : 18:24:31
I am kind of depressed right now. Me and the girl from the laundromat broke up. After I had smoothed everything over with the poop incident, I thought, "Maybe we're going to make it after all," and "Maybe she is the one." But it looks like it's not to be.
The trouble began when we were hanging out the other night. We'd had a few drinks (purple hooter shooters for those of you that might be wondering) and she was acting a little frisky. We started fooling around and, as we got hotter and heavier, she told me to "talk dirty" to her. I had never done this before so I didn't exactly know what was expected of me. So I said, "I want to eat your coochie." It was the first thing I could think of.
Well, that put an end to our frolicking.
She stopped what she was doing, and said, "what?" in a rather irritated tone of voice. I knew I'd done something wrong, so I tried to dig myself out of the hole I'd just stumbled into but it didn't work out the way I'd planned. I followed up with something really lame like, "I want to lick your hoo-hoo," but she rolled her eyes and started getting dressed. I have never really used language like that with a girl before.
That wasn't even the strangest part. I have gotten a few late-night phone calls from who I percieve to be her girlfriends, and they always say, "Can I speak to the coochie-man, please," laugh, and hang up.
So, I would like to ask your opinion. When a girl says she wants you to talk dirty to her during sex, what the hell does that mean?!
Into the dust we struggled...and yet we couldn't make coffee |
| 26 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 09/21/2007 : 06:03:21
quote:
Originally posted by The King Of Karaoke
quote:
Originally posted by PixieSteve
KOK, what's your sex life been like since you turned to conspiracies?
We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
Now it's just that I'm just getting back into the swing of things and haven't really been trying that hard.
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You really need to try it hard.
 I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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| The King Of Karaoke |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 15:13:37
quote:
Originally posted by PixieSteve
KOK, what's your sex life been like since you turned to conspiracies?
We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
I haven't been laid in a year. Much of which initially had to do with discovering the 9/11 stuff and hence being unable to enjoy life enough to get boners anymore.
Now it's just that I'm just getting back into the swing of things and haven't really been trying that hard. I've spent much of my life going out with women I don't really like.
I made a new years resolution to stop wasting time with women I don't really like that much.
The boners are back though!
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| The King Of Karaoke |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 15:11:06
Hey everyone, floop said he misses kok |käk|
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| PixieSteve |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 15:07:56
KOK, what's your sex life been like since you turned to conspiracies?
We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins |
| floop |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 15:05:34
holy shit, KOK you are cracking me up. this is the KOK i miss |
| coastline |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 14:59:40
Hey, baby, how do you like my KOK?
 Please pardon me, for these my wrongs. |
| The King Of Karaoke |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 14:57:47
I have one for dirty talk but it's too long to type right now.
Here's some advice from a master.
Basically, when a chick wants you to talk dirty to her a good start is always something about how much she's enjoying your hard cock. Emphasize "COCK" when you say it because she's a bad little girl. Say it right in her ear while lightly biting it and give her a good thrust of your cock at the same time. Then just elaborate from there gauging how dirty to go on her response to the initial effort. If she recoils in horror, don't go any heavier than hooh hoo, and willie from that point out. Don't use "Coochie". It's very eighties and always reminded me of the game Kooties. Don't want to be thinking of getting kooties during sex.
I had a girl call it her "squirrel" once and I was very confused by this. I was afraid it might bite me. I was always told not to play with wild animals.
Wow, I still remember the good old days.
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| The King Of Karaoke |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 14:32:33
Dude your stories are classic. You have to be making these up right?
I've had a couple old girlfriends that have tried some weird stuff on me.
One crazy stripper girl wanted me to choke her which I couldn't really get into. The other thing was she kept trying to put her finger in my ass. She just couldn't understand why I didn't want her putting her finger in my ass. " Are you afraid you'll like it?" I was like "Look, first it's a finger, next year it's a summer squash, two years from now I'm cruising China Town in a dress. I don't want a finger in my ass! Yes, I'm afraid I'll like it!
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| floop |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 14:23:24
i'm just fucking with you mister. you could be the nicest guy in the world for all i know. it is usually the case though that guys who talk that way about women (i guess you were joking so, wha eva) don't know much about women. wouldn't you agree? |
| misterwoe |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 13:59:12
quote:
Originally posted by floop
i'm guessing misterwoe doesn't have a girlfriend
hey...not nice. i'm not an asshole in real life. well, maybe i am, but toward women. nice guys finish last, right? NOT! I've got an amazing girlfriend, but she lives in Greece. And I live in...singapore? Does this even make sense?
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You're all a bunch of slaves! |
| floop |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 12:39:23
i'm guessing misterwoe doesn't have a girlfriend |
| mr.biscuitdoughhead |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 12:37:49
Jeez, I thought I had it bad, this thread makes me feel a lot better.
 "How do you like that, Sir Harold?"
|
| cassandra is |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 02:03:15
quote:
Originally posted by misterwoe
you should have brought up some laundromat inuendo! Like, "I want to put you on spin cycle, you naughty brat." Or, "Bleach me whites and air dry me, you dirty bitch."
To be honest, I wouldn't have known what the hell to say either. I'm not used to that action. But next time you are stumped, definitely whip out the "lick my love pump" line. Or: "smell the glove." Cause there's nothing wrong with being sexy.
You're better off without this slut, though. She sounds very immature, considering she gave her friends your number and all. Next time you get a phone call like that be sure to say something witty like: "Do you think this is a hotline for dirty, jeoulous sluts? Why don't you stop playing around and come toss my salad? I'll even let you cook me dinner!"
Or something to that affect.
The funny thing is that if you talk to her like that, she'll probably actually come over and do it. Insecure women cling to assholes like dingle berries.
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You're all a bunch of slaves!
pas de bras pas de chocolat |
| billgoodman |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 01:51:31
reminds me of 40 year old virgin.
this incredible scene were steve carrel apparently never had sex and just tries to
fake a story about being with a women who liked it dirty.
something like:
-was she dirty?
-ohh yeah she was, she said: i'm so dirty, I want to..uhm fuck you, yeah, I want to...aahh..screw.
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BF: Mag ik Engels spreken? |
| PixieSteve |
Posted - 09/19/2007 : 09:44:59
this guy is straight out of seinfeld. this happened to jerry. the poop thing could easily be costanza.
We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins |
| misterwoe |
Posted - 09/19/2007 : 09:22:32
quote:
Originally posted by coastline
quote:
Originally posted by misterwoe
Or something to that affect.
Effect.
Please pardon me, for these my wrongs.
I was wondering about that one! And I call myself a writer...sheesh!
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You're all a bunch of slaves! |
| coastline |
Posted - 09/19/2007 : 09:14:04
quote:
Originally posted by misterwoe
Or something to that affect.
Effect.
Please pardon me, for these my wrongs. |
| misterwoe |
Posted - 09/19/2007 : 09:10:54
you should have brought up some laundromat inuendo! Like, "I want to put you on spin cycle, you naughty brat." Or, "Bleach me whites and air dry me, you dirty bitch."
To be honest, I wouldn't have known what the hell to say either. I'm not used to that action. But next time you are stumped, definitely whip out the "lick my love pump" line. Or: "smell the glove." Cause there's nothing wrong with being sexy.
You're better off without this slut, though. She sounds very immature, considering she gave her friends your number and all. Next time you get a phone call like that be sure to say something witty like: "Do you think this is a hotline for dirty, jeoulous sluts? Why don't you stop playing around and come toss my salad? I'll even let you cook me dinner!"
Or something to that affect.
The funny thing is that if you talk to her like that, she'll probably actually come over and do it. Insecure women cling to assholes like dingle berries.
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You're all a bunch of slaves! |
| Carl |
Posted - 09/19/2007 : 08:58:48
Are you sure you didn't mention coprophragia?
"I hate how the reptile dreams it's a mammal. Scaley monster: be what you are!!" - Erebus. |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 09/19/2007 : 05:53:40
Coochie? Hoo-hoo? Are they even words? They sound like the babbling of a 1 year old.
You ARE joking with this right?
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
|
| OLDMANOTY |
Posted - 09/19/2007 : 00:45:24
Are you Woody Allen? |
| Little Black Francis |
Posted - 09/18/2007 : 20:16:51
drink this, you'll feel better in the morning douchebag
fuck this |
| coastline |
Posted - 09/18/2007 : 20:00:01
You should have told her: "Lick my love pump."
Please pardon me, for these my wrongs. |
| darwin |
Posted - 09/18/2007 : 19:49:09
Maybe she's unfamiliar with Charo's work. |
| Superabounder |
Posted - 09/18/2007 : 19:38:54
Wow, you have had some interesting twists with the laundromat girl.
I think she wants you to start out a little more subdued before you go right to the "eat your coochie" climax. I mean "eat your coochie" is incredibly sexy sounding and all...don't get me wrong. You just might try something that doesn't sound like you are about to devour a raccoon you found stuffed in her pants.
I think generally talking about how excited she is making you...what kind of physical effects she is having on you. What you want to make certain parts of her anatomy feel like. All in a more explicit way of course, is usually good material to get things going. Remember that when you are describing parts of her body, you may want to make them sound beautiful. Coochie...kind of has the same effect as if you told her you wanted to run your tongue over those flapping fun bags in her shirt.
Now, "Lick your hoo hoo?" What in the hell??!??
I'd rather be anywhere or doing anything |
| treetime |
Posted - 09/18/2007 : 19:20:23
Hey bud if a girl wants you to talk dirty you went for it, but maybe try compliments next time, like "you have a nice ass". |
