| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| coastline |
Posted - 07/31/2007 : 08:49:32
From today's New York Times (forgive me for posting the whole story here, but the link will likely expire in a couple weeks)
July 31, 2007
The Whys of Mating: 237 Reasons and Counting
Scholars in antiquity began counting the ways that humans have sex, but they weren’t so diligent in cataloging the reasons humans wanted to get into all those positions. Darwin and his successors offered a few explanations of mating strategies — to find better genes, to gain status and resources — but they neglected to produce a Kama Sutra of sexual motivations.
Perhaps you didn’t lament this omission. Perhaps you thought that the motivations for sex were pretty obvious. Or maybe you never really wanted to know what was going on inside other people’s minds, in which case you should stop reading immediately.
For now, thanks to psychologists at the University of Texas at Austin, we can at last count the whys. After asking nearly 2,000 people why they’d had sex, the researchers have assembled and categorized a total of 237 reasons — everything from “I wanted to feel closer to God” to “I was drunk.” They even found a few people who claimed to have been motivated by the desire to have a child.
The researchers, Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss, believe their list, published in the August issue of Archives of Sexual Behavior, is the most thorough taxonomy of sexual motivation ever compiled. This seems entirely plausible.
Who knew, for instance, that a headache had any erotic significance except as an excuse for saying no? But some respondents of both sexes explained that they’d had sex “to get rid of a headache.” It’s No. 173 on the list.
Others said they did it to “help me fall asleep,” “make my partner feel powerful,” “burn calories,” “return a favor,” “keep warm,” “hurt an enemy” or “change the topic of conversation.” The lamest may have been, “It seemed like good exercise,” although there is also this: “Someone dared me.”
Dr. Buss has studied mating strategies around the world — he’s the oft-cited author of “The Evolution of Desire” and other books — but even he did not expect to find such varied and Machiavellian reasons for sex. “I was truly astonished,” he said, “by this richness of sexual psychology.”
The researchers collected the data by first asking more than 400 people to list their reasons for having sex, and then asking more than 1,500 others to rate how important each reason was to them. Although it was a fairly homogenous sample of students at the University of Texas, nearly every one of the 237 reasons was rated by at least some people as their most important motive for having sex.
The best news is that both men and women ranked the same reason most often: “I was attracted to the person.”
The rest of the top 10 for each gender were also almost all the same, including “I wanted to express my love for the person,” “I was sexually aroused and wanted the release” and “It’s fun.”
No matter what the reason, men were more likely to cite it than women, with a couple of notable exceptions. Women were more likely to say they had sex because, “I wanted to express my love for the person” and “I realized I was in love.” This jibes with conventional wisdom about women emphasizing the emotional aspects of sex, although it might also reflect the female respondents’ reluctance to admit to less lofty motives.
The results contradicted another stereotype about women: their supposed tendency to use sex to gain status or resources.
“Our findings suggest that men do these things more than women,” Dr. Buss said, alluding to the respondents who said they’d had sex to get things, like a promotion, a raise or a favor. Men were much more likely than women to say they’d had sex to “boost my social status” or because the partner was famous or “usually ‘out of my league.’ ”
Dr. Buss said, “Although I knew that having sex has consequences for reputation, it surprised me that people, notably men, would be motivated to have sex solely for social status and reputation enhancement.”
But then, men were also more likely than women to say they’d had sex because “I was slumming.” Or simply because “the opportunity presented itself,” or “the person demanded that I have sex.”
If nothing else, the results seem to be a robust confirmation of the hypothesis in the old joke: How can a woman get a man to take off his clothes? Ask him.
To make sense of the 237 reasons, Dr. Buss and Dr. Meston created a taxonomy with four general categories:
¶Physical: “The person had beautiful eyes” or “a desirable body,” or “was good kisser” or “too physically attractive to resist.” Or “I wanted to achieve an orgasm.”
¶Goal Attainment: “I wanted to even the score with a cheating partner” or “break up a rival’s relationship” or “make money” or “be popular.” Or “because of a bet.”
¶Emotional: “I wanted to communicate at a deeper level” or “lift my partner’s spirits” or “say ‘Thank you.’ ” Or just because “the person was intelligent.”
¶Insecurity: “I felt like it was my duty” or “I wanted to boost my self-esteem” or “It was the only way my partner would spend time with me.”
Having sex out of a sense of duty, Dr. Buss said, showed up in a separate study as being especially frequent among older women. But both sexes seem to practice a strategy that he calls mate-guarding, as illustrated in one of the reasons given by survey respondents: “I was afraid my partner would have an affair if I didn’t.”
That fear seems especially reasonable after you finish reading Dr. Buss’s paper and realize just how many reasons there are for infidelity. Some critics might complain that the list has some repetitions — it includes “I was curious about sex” as well as “I wanted to see what all the fuss was about” — but I’m more concerned about the reasons yet to be enumerated.
For instance, nowhere among the 237 reasons will you find the one attributed to the actress Joan Crawford: “I need sex for a clear complexion.” (The closest is “I thought it would make me feel healthy.”)Nor will you find anything about gathering rosebuds while ye may (the 17th-century exhortation to young virgins from Robert Herrick). Nor the similar hurry-before-we-die rationale (“The grave’s a fine and private place/ But none I think do there embrace”) from Andrew Marvell in “To His Coy Mistress.”
From even a cursory survey of literature or the modern mass market in sex fantasies, it seems clear that this new taxonomy may not be any more complete than the original periodic table of the elements.
When I mentioned Ms. Crawford’s complexion and the poets’ rationales to Dr. Buss, he promised to consider them and all other candidates for Reason 238.
You can nominate your own reasons at TierneyLab. You can also submit nominations for a brand new taxonomy: reasons for just saying “No way!” Somehow, though, I don’t think this list will be as long.
 There's a perfect explanation for the shit that I've been in. As soon as I find out, I'll let you know. |
| 27 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| coastline |
Posted - 08/06/2007 : 15:28:20
Miss Thing does.
There's a perfect explanation for the shit that I've been in. As soon as I find out, I'll let you know. |
| Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo |
Posted - 08/06/2007 : 15:05:37
Do Frank Black fans have sex?
++++ |
| misterwoe |
Posted - 08/06/2007 : 13:13:25
quote:
Originally posted by Carl
Are they sex novels?
"I hate how the reptile dreams it's a mammal. Scaley monster: be what you are!!" - Erebus.
All right, Carl. It sounds like we've got the same amount of frustrations going on here. The only difference is that you have bad teeth. Ha ha. No, I'm not writing a sex novel, but there is sex in the novel. I will finish the book in two weeks and get laid. BAM! Could it be with someone from this forum? Hmmm...
I live in Tennessee if you're curious and female and of legal age. Those are my only stipulations right now. Lower the standards, up the average. Right, Carl? At this rate, maybe I'm looking at a misterwoe sandwich. That'd be great fodder for the thread. But I'm getting ahead of myself. No doubt.
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You're all a bunch of slaves! |
| Dallas |
Posted - 08/06/2007 : 11:00:51
I do it to escape the knowledge I have about the imminent collapse of our social constructs by a wide-ranging international cabal. What other reason is there?? |
| Carl |
Posted - 08/06/2007 : 10:58:26
Are they sex novels?
"I hate how the reptile dreams it's a mammal. Scaley monster: be what you are!!" - Erebus. |
| misterwoe |
Posted - 08/06/2007 : 09:35:27
Sex? What sex? Oh, that's right! I write novels instead. Dammit.
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You're all a bunch of slaves! |
| sweetpollypurebred |
Posted - 08/05/2007 : 17:19:07
WANKING
isn't that an olympic sport now?
|
| Carl |
Posted - 08/04/2007 : 18:43:11
Why do you have grammer peeves?
"I hate how the reptile dreams it's a mammal. Scaley monster: be what you are!!" - Erebus. |
| PixieSteve |
Posted - 08/04/2007 : 12:58:44
that could go in grammar peeves, carl.
"Idiot" is just her sig. |
| Carl |
Posted - 08/04/2007 : 12:02:20
A more relevent topic for me would be 'Why do not have sex?'
"I hate how the reptile dreams it's a mammal. Scaley monster: be what you are!!" - Erebus. |
| Jason |
Posted - 08/04/2007 : 10:06:55
because of... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testosterone |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 08/04/2007 : 03:32:02
Because it's two minutes where she'll stop playing Bright Eyes.
 I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
|
| FlexMentallo |
Posted - 08/03/2007 : 12:27:25
Just because. |
| coastline |
Posted - 08/03/2007 : 10:45:23
quote:
Originally posted by Superabounder
I do it in order to bring my partner to a massive mind-bending earth-shattering orgasm.
I'd rather be anywhere or doing anything
Funny, I do it to bring your partner to one of those too, superabounder!
No, not really. Just Denis' mum.
There's a perfect explanation for the shit that I've been in. As soon as I find out, I'll let you know. |
| vilainde |
Posted - 08/03/2007 : 05:32:15
Because your mum asked for it.
(seriously, 12 posts without a single mum joke? come on!)
Denis
"Can you hear me? I aint got shit to say." |
| Superabounder |
Posted - 08/03/2007 : 05:19:59
I do it in order to bring my partner to a massive mind-bending earth-shattering orgasm.
I'd rather be anywhere or doing anything |
| Stuart |
Posted - 08/03/2007 : 02:42:50
quote:
Originally posted by sweetpollypurebred
i have sex by myself
because it seems like the right thing to do
and also peer pressure
'I have sex by myself...' you mean you like to wank?
Wanking is great... better than sex! You get to cheat, do anything you like and your girlfriend / wife will never find out about it. Wanking should be in the Olympics.
Because your candle burned too bright, that I almost forgot it was twilight |
| coastline |
Posted - 08/01/2007 : 11:05:27
quote:
Originally posted by The King Of Karaoke
Because I got a killer deal on a big ass jug of Jergens last week.
With Aloe. Fuck that lanolin shit.
------------------
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRZmzf7WiNg
Can't wait to see the vid on YouTube.
There's a perfect explanation for the shit that I've been in. As soon as I find out, I'll let you know. |
| The King Of Karaoke |
Posted - 08/01/2007 : 10:15:49
Because I got a killer deal on a big ass jug of Jergens last week.
With Aloe. Fuck that lanolin shit.
------------------
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRZmzf7WiNg |
| jediroller |
Posted - 08/01/2007 : 09:19:26
Because I can.
"Les Blackolero, y sont forts en sacramant" - Czar | 06/26/2007 | 20:10:34
free music | Blackolero | Frank Black & Pixies Tributes |
| sweetpollypurebred |
Posted - 08/01/2007 : 08:56:20
i have sex by myself
because it seems like the right thing to do
and also peer pressure |
| billgoodman |
Posted - 08/01/2007 : 04:44:29
to lose all my energy, so that I can watch television without being bothered by some real thoughts
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BF: Mag ik Engels spreken? |
| Skatealex1 |
Posted - 07/31/2007 : 16:16:02
Stoned Sex is ridicolous and underrated not overrated
The Truth Is Out There |
| IceCream |
Posted - 07/31/2007 : 15:28:42
Sex is the most overrated thing ever. |
| Llamadance |
Posted - 07/31/2007 : 14:15:52
quote:
Originally posted by coastline
I have sex because I think orgasms feel fantastic. Why do the rest of you have sex?
There's a perfect explanation for the shit that I've been in. As soon as I find out, I'll let you know.
so why not just masturbate? Or is it that sex makes a welcome change from wanking?
[edit] - that sounds a bit harsh read back, it's not meant to be.
No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God George Bush snr |
| darwin |
Posted - 07/31/2007 : 13:23:04
I have sex because my genes want to be propagated. I have no freewill. (the 'ultimate' answer, your's is a 'proximate' answer, it feels good in order to get you to do it)
My wife is actually using this study in a lecture she's teaching this afternoon. |
| coastline |
Posted - 07/31/2007 : 13:18:19
I have sex because I think orgasms feel fantastic. Why do the rest of you have sex?
There's a perfect explanation for the shit that I've been in. As soon as I find out, I'll let you know. |
