| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| coastline |
Posted - 06/27/2007 : 08:35:04
Is anybody else a fan of Tom Swifties? They're "phrase(s) in which a quoted sentence is linked by a pun to the manner in which it is represented as having been said" (I'm quoting Wikipedia). Well, that's confusing. Here are a few examples. Feel free to write your own and post them here.
"They had to amputate them both at the ankles," Tom said defeatedly.
"I manufacture tabletops," said Tom counterproductively.
"I used to be a pilot," Tom explained.
"I can't remember what I was supposed to buy," said Tom listlessly.
"I unclogged the drain with a vacuum cleaner," Tom said succinctly.
And my favorite of all-time:
"--. --- --- -.. -... -.-- .," Tom said remorsefully.
 Please pardon me, for these my wrongs. |
| 35 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| coastline |
Posted - 05/07/2010 : 12:00:22
"Full stop," Tom said periodically. |
| pixiestu |
Posted - 09/28/2009 : 11:27:40
"That girl over there used to be my girlfriend!" said Tom excitedly.
"The arc of triumph" |
| trobrianders |
Posted - 09/27/2009 : 11:52:28
"I changed my name" said Cohen expertly.
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo |
| shineoftheever |
Posted - 09/25/2009 : 21:16:57
"i will never buy an album from someone who appeared on american idol", Tom stuttered.
The waxworks were an immensely eloquent dissertation on the wonderful ordinariness of mankind. |
| Crackitybones |
Posted - 05/26/2009 : 01:51:20
"We must reduce our foreign aid" said government minister Tom helplessly |
| shineoftheever |
Posted - 05/25/2009 : 18:54:54
"check out my new blaupunkt", Tom said cartoonishly.
The waxworks were an immensely eloquent dissertation on the wonderful ordinariness of mankind. |
| shineoftheever |
Posted - 05/25/2009 : 15:27:39
"I am not schitzophrenic", Tom said single-mindedly.
The waxworks were an immensely eloquent dissertation on the wonderful ordinariness of mankind. |
| coastline |
Posted - 07/08/2007 : 22:09:27
"What kitchen utensil can I use to pour this huge bottle of olive oil into this little jar?" Tom asked funnily.
(That was for you, Llamadance.)
Please pardon me, for these my wrongs. |
| Llamadance |
Posted - 07/08/2007 : 16:09:04
"I don't want to be crucified", Tom said crossly
"Was Mary hirsute before she had Jesus?", Tom asked immaculately.
No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God George Bush snr |
| Llamadance |
Posted - 07/08/2007 : 14:47:25
I like that...religious Swifties...
"I can say the Lord's prayer if you want", Tom said amenably
No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God George Bush snr |
| coastline |
Posted - 07/08/2007 : 14:25:07
quote:
Originally posted by floop
"my balls were put on this earth to be worshipped," Tom said sacerdotally
I don't know the meaning of that word, but I did think of a related swiftie while I was running this morning:
"I love Jesus Christ's balls," Tom said sacreligiously.
Please pardon me, for these my wrongs. |
| trobrianders |
Posted - 07/08/2007 : 13:42:22
quote:
Originally posted by PixieSteve
carl, you are shit at these. for a start, at least try to make what they say fit the way they say it. e.g. "My penis is bigger than yours!" Tom said cockily.
Carl are you trying to piss PixieSteve off? Let's try again. "I sort of like spices", Tom said gingerly. See how that works better?
Swifties 101
(Sorry Carl)
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo |
| Llamadance |
Posted - 07/08/2007 : 13:39:07
"Do you find gangrene sexy?", Tom asked erotically.
No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God George Bush snr |
| Carl |
Posted - 07/08/2007 : 13:23:47
"I love spices", said Tom gingerly.
"I hate how the reptile dreams it's a mammal. Scaley monster: be what you are!!" - Erebus. |
| floop |
Posted - 07/07/2007 : 15:11:49
"my balls were put on this earth to be worshipped," Tom said sacerdotally |
| shineoftheever |
Posted - 07/07/2007 : 14:51:10
"still on page one" tom announced over the P.A. system.
The waxworks were an immensely eloquent dissertation on the wonderful ordinariness of mankind. |
| coastline |
Posted - 07/04/2007 : 18:56:51
"I guess it's already been determined this is how I'll die," Tom said fatally.
(That one sucks, but I had to save this thread from falling to the second page. It's too much fun to let it slip away and join threads like the "HELP ME PLASE! DOG MEAT TRADE! HORROR!" thread.)
Please pardon me, for these my wrongs. |
| s_wrenn |
Posted - 07/02/2007 : 15:18:04
"I've got a crush on Debbie G" Dave said lovingly
|
| Carl |
Posted - 07/02/2007 : 15:16:03
"I must be mistaken", said Tom erroneously.
 "Aw yeah, that's the good stuff!" |
| Llamadance |
Posted - 07/02/2007 : 01:10:04
"I was the perfect gameshow host", Tom said exquisitely.
No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God George Bush snr |
| OLDMANOTY |
Posted - 07/02/2007 : 00:03:53
"Yo Adrian, I did it!" said Tom, slyly |
| shineoftheever |
Posted - 07/01/2007 : 19:36:46
"i feel like chicken" tom said peckishly.
The waxworks were an immensely eloquent dissertation on the wonderful ordinariness of mankind. |
| trobrianders |
Posted - 06/30/2007 : 12:02:47
"Four Germans in total" Tom said fearfully
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo |
| trobrianders |
Posted - 06/30/2007 : 11:54:25
"The President's brain is missing" Tom said absent-mindedly
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo |
| Llamadance |
Posted - 06/30/2007 : 09:58:45
"Can you shout out the correct roster order please?", Tom asked realistically
No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God George Bush snr |
| Carl |
Posted - 06/30/2007 : 09:44:01
"I'm very quick", said Tom. Swiftly.
"Aw yeah, that's the good stuff!" |
| Llamadance |
Posted - 06/30/2007 : 07:02:17
"I made this collander two-dimensional", Tom said impressively
No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God George Bush snr |
| trobrianders |
Posted - 06/29/2007 : 21:02:48
"Tom Swifties, er, increase your, um, post/bee count coastline" Tom said bumblingly
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo |
| trobrianders |
Posted - 06/29/2007 : 20:27:16
"Carl, write fewer but better Tom Swifties" Steve said uselessly
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo |
| PixieSteve |
Posted - 06/29/2007 : 17:12:07
carl, you are shit at these. for a start, at least try to make what they say fit the way they say it. e.g. "My penis is bigger than yours!" Tom said cockily.
"Idiot" is just her sig. |
| Carl |
Posted - 06/29/2007 : 11:46:49
"Look at that penis!", Tom said cockily.
Somebody probably already did that.
"Aw yeah, that's the good stuff!" |
| trobrianders |
Posted - 06/29/2007 : 11:28:44
"Reassign that nurse" Dr Tom said rewardingly
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo |
| trobrianders |
Posted - 06/29/2007 : 11:26:57
"I hear echos" Tom said resoundingly
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo |
| coastline |
Posted - 06/29/2007 : 08:55:58
"I thought that girl was available," Tom said mistakenly.
Please pardon me, for these my wrongs. |
| PixieSteve |
Posted - 06/29/2007 : 06:28:00
"I stole Doolittle from the record store," Tom said mischievously
"Idiot" is just her sig. |
