| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| misterwoe |
Posted - 07/26/2005 : 05:46:29
Hey Guys,
I'm really sad today. I'm having the most complicated girl troubles--links, jokes, death threats, anything...the animal porn was pretty funny. I just want to laugh!
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole. |
| 24 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| VoVat |
Posted - 08/13/2005 : 11:16:47
Laughter is the very best medicine. Remember that when your appendix bursts next week.
I was all out of luck, like a duck that died. I was all out of juice, like a moose denied. |
| Stuart |
Posted - 07/28/2005 : 08:35:43
My step father was a right old fashioned authoritarian, and demanded that when we have a shower we take no more than 4 mins. He even used to stand outside for 4 mins to time us and then try and get into the bathroom to turn off the thermostat. As we were a little cleverer than that we'd lock the door, until one day he got wiser than us and took the lock off.
I was about 12 and had just discovered the joys of 'roughing up the suspect' a couple of days after the lock had been removed. I crept up to the toilet to dedicate some time to my new hobby of 'tugging, ' and was well equipt for the job in hand (a magazine and tissue at the ready...) Everything was going according to plan. Suddenly I heard the front room door open and footsteps heading up the stairs, but I shrugged it off thinking that I'd done what I always did and locked the bathroom door. The footsteps got closer, but I didn't hesitate to concern myself with someone outside the bathroom until the door opened and my mother walked in. She let out a surprised 'Oh' and then scuffled out quickly.
She stood outside the bathroom door and asked 'What are you doing?' To which I replied, 'I'm having a crap.' I was then caught with a Lennox Lewis style haymaker when she came back with 'How can you go to toilet with both seats down?'
There was nothing in the world I could possibly say!
This is a high class bureau de change, not some Punch & Judy show on the seafront at Margate! |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 07/28/2005 : 06:21:21
quote:
Originally posted by misterwoe
I never used to be floop.
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole.
Yeah I was kidding.
Don't believe the type!
|
| Carl |
Posted - 07/27/2005 : 13:10:20
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
They hav'nt told me yet! |
| Surfer Rosa |
Posted - 07/27/2005 : 11:39:15
quote:
Originally posted by misterwoe
I never used to be floop. And by the way, my sheets aren't stained with tears; they're stained with semen. You know, white blood.
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole.
Getting your crusty sheets laundered would probably be a good place to start with cheering yourself up.
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. |
| misterwoe |
Posted - 07/27/2005 : 11:14:50
I never used to be floop. And by the way, my sheets aren't stained with tears; they're stained with semen. You know, white blood.
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole. |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 07/27/2005 : 05:16:37
quote:
Originally posted by danjersey
[quote]Originally posted by misterwoe
Hey Guys,
I'm really sad today. I'm having the most complicated girl troubles--links, jokes, death threats, anything...the animal porn was pretty funny. I just want to laugh!
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole.
[/quote
get up off your tear soaked sheets and remember who the floop you were before you met this woman.
Misterwoe used to be floop?
Don't believe the type!
|
| danjersey |
Posted - 07/26/2005 : 20:23:36
[quote]Originally posted by misterwoe
Hey Guys,
I'm really sad today. I'm having the most complicated girl troubles--links, jokes, death threats, anything...the animal porn was pretty funny. I just want to laugh!
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole.
[/quote
i'll tell you what pal, shut your frikin trap and stop bitchin. get up off your tear soaked sheets and remember who the floop you were before you met this woman.
when i come back here you better not even smell sad.
Death threats? thats silly. |
| misterwoe |
Posted - 07/26/2005 : 15:57:48
One time, during sex, I called this girl 'mom'
she was pretty upset
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole. |
| Little Black Francis |
Posted - 07/26/2005 : 15:23:21
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex???
call her and tell her where you are
... It was like the First time I ever tried Cheetos. |
| misterwoe |
Posted - 07/26/2005 : 14:54:04
The Frank Black forum makes feel good. You guys are great...I'm starting to realize that I need to buy a copy of Spinal Tap for times like these. I'm half tempted to put in Show Me Your Tears, but I don't know...that album is depressing...fuck it. The rain's pouring down right now, literally. I'd better play it! I never thought relationships could be so wierd. So crazy. I'm better off with my screenplays. Not everybody can write those. At least I didn't get killed by a horse.
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole. |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 07/26/2005 : 14:26:01
How are we doing misterwoe?
Don't believe the type!
|
| The Marsist |
Posted - 07/26/2005 : 06:42:13
well I was being sarcastic aswell
(im only joking)
"To be known as an underdog - that can only be a good thing. It's better than sucking."
- Frank Black
|
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 07/26/2005 : 06:37:52
Well I was being sarcastic but thanks for the compliment. Well I'm cheered up now if nothing else. Yep, I'm alright Jack.
Don't believe the type!
|
| The Marsist |
Posted - 07/26/2005 : 06:30:04
come on homer you ALWAYS have something funny to offer
Q:how does a man show that he is planning for his future?
A:he buys two cases of beer
"To be known as an underdog - that can only be a good thing. It's better than sucking."
- Frank Black
|
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 07/26/2005 : 06:28:09
All of a sudden I have nothing funny to offer...........
..........nope, nothing.
Don't believe the type!
|
| jediroller |
Posted - 07/26/2005 : 06:24:32
I jumped on the Frank Black Bandwagon/'Cause Pixies are so 2004 |
| Broken Face |
Posted - 07/26/2005 : 06:22:26
did you hear about the new pirate movie?
its rated arrrrr (don't know if this joke translates to places with different film rating systems)
-Brian
If you move I shoots!
|
| The Marsist |
Posted - 07/26/2005 : 06:19:03
the children had all been photographed and the teacher was trying to persude each of them
to buy a copy of the group picture.
"just think how nice it will be to look at when your all grown up!. you can say
"theres theres jenifer shes a lawyer" or "theres michael hes a doctor"
a small voice at the back of the room says "theres teacher, shes dead"
"To be known as an underdog - that can only be a good thing. It's better than sucking."
- Frank Black
|
| bazza |
Posted - 07/26/2005 : 06:06:24
Q: whats 6 inches long and starts with a P?
A: a shite!
Badoom tish
Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene."
|
| Llamadance |
Posted - 07/26/2005 : 05:58:26
Two birds sitting on a perch. One says to the other, "can you smell fish?"
________________________________________________________________________________
No power in the 'verse can stop me
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| The Marsist |
Posted - 07/26/2005 : 05:57:38
a man goes to an optician and the optician says
"sir you must stop masturbating?"
and the man says "why? will i go blind?"
"no" says the optician "your upsetting the other patients in the waiting room"
"To be known as an underdog - that can only be a good thing. It's better than sucking."
- Frank Black
|
| vilainde |
Posted - 07/26/2005 : 05:53:14
Q: Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
A: He was buttering up his teacher.
Denis
I know the god of rock n roll / Yeah I sold him my soul! |
| The Marsist |
Posted - 07/26/2005 : 05:48:59
http://deadkennedys.iwarp.com/balls.html
funny stuff
"To be known as an underdog - that can only be a good thing. It's better than sucking."
- Frank Black
|
