| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| speedy_m |
Posted - 04/06/2005 : 13:57:41
Ladies and gents, I ask you: the waitress pick up, is it possible? If so, how? My only other option is to stop getting crushes on waitresses. I don't see this happening any time soon.
Oh boy, it's Walk-Around Butt! |
| 35 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Broken Face |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 18:15:36
i was in a bar tonight and the bartender was super cute but she did two things that really annoy me: a) she went out of her way to flirt with me - this might seem odd, but this seems like tip grubbing. and i'm not an attractive man, i was a guy keeping to himself eating his dinner and drinking in his mets cap, so its not like i was hinting for it.
b) she then tried to make awkard baseball conversation with me. i'm a snob about 2 things: music and baseball. this is why i don't talk music with coworkers or even some friends. if you don't know what your'e talking about, don't pretend to. its just obnoxious.
-Brian
If you move I shoots!
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| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 14:49:34
Gouge Away.
“Did I leave the gas on? No! I’m – no – I’m a fucking squirrel!”
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| floop |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 14:48:34
chicks dig scars. maybe you should gouge your face with a steak knife and let it heal.. then, sit back and let the phone numbers pile up
know what i'm sayin' dawg? |
| starmekitten |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 14:46:21
there's an advert on and this guy always gives this girl a chocolate with a little poem or love note or whatever written in it, start leaving those as tips! It works in the advert and why would TV lie?
Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something. |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 14:42:31
Well he did deal 'in tosh'!
“Did I leave the gas on? No! I’m – no – I’m a fucking squirrel!”
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| floop |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 14:36:41
your grandad was the mac
know what i'm sayin' dawg? |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 14:32:35
In my experience women do OCCASIONALLY chat up men, but they are shit at delivering a deal clincher. They just kind of chat, with no real sense of purpose. You can tell they are waiting for you to make the next move. So even when they approach you, they still expect you to do all the real work.
That doesn't include the really 'loose' women who tell you within minutes that they want to "**** your ****". I didn't include them 'cos I have never met one. I have heard of them though, in stories my grandad used to tell me.
I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.
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| floop |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 14:27:44
unless a conversation comes about naturally, it's really cheesy and painful (and tacky) to be all blatant. but then, nice guys always finish last. thank god or alcohol
know what i'm sayin' dawg? |
| Cheeseman1000 |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 14:24:52
I think that as this is the twenty-first century, cheesy chat-up lines shouldn't be limited to men. I wouldn't object to being chatted up by a girl, whether she was attractive or not, it all boosts confidence.
But old-fashioned as we are, it's down to the chaps. I've never talked to a strange woman in a bar or anything with the intention of making a move, I just think it's kind of tacky. Plus I don't have the guts.
"So Simon, are you single?"
"Well, now that you mention it..."
 I'm like a lost snail in the night. |
| floop |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 14:24:09
even, "do you know where the bathroom is?" comes across as sleezy.
or, "my friend is choking to death, does anyone know the heimlich maneuver?"
know what i'm sayin' dawg? |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 14:22:11
quote:
Originally posted by floop
anything you say to a girl at a bar is automatically viewed as a cheesy line, even if it's not a cheesy line, or not a line at all.. i've been at bars before where i've actually just made harmless conversation to someone next to me while ordering a drink, and gotten major attitude. it's like, "i'm not even interested in you. i'm just making some conversation here.. relax," which is what i say, but that doesn't seem to help. and then i say, "trust me, you're not my type. way too fat" and that seems to smooth everything over
know what i'm sayin' dawg?
Another classic floop moment!
I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.
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| Cult_Of_Frank |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 14:18:57
Yeah, if you run into a girl you think you know, don't ask her...
 "I joined the Cult of Frank / Wooteenie!" |
| floop |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 14:17:13
anything you say to a girl at a bar is automatically viewed as a cheesy line, even if it's not a cheesy line, or not a line at all.. i've been at bars before where i've actually just made harmless conversation to someone next to me while ordering a drink, and gotten major attitude. it's like, "i'm not even interested in you. i'm just making some conversation here.. relax," which is what i say, but that doesn't seem to help. and then i say, "trust me, you're not my type. way too fat" and that seems to smooth everything over
know what i'm sayin' dawg? |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 14:12:29
Bitter and frustrated men of the world unite!
Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life
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| Cheeseman1000 |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 14:05:12
quote:
Originally posted by floop
meeting girls in bars is generally pretty dreadful (whether they're bartenders or not).. in my experience anyway.
i think this town worse than most too (that's my excuse anyway)
know what i'm sayin' dawg?
I agree with ya, dawg. I hate the meat-market mentality in pubs and clubs and bars here, where it seems like the sole purpose of a night out is to get laid. Not for me it ain't.
It's not that I'm bitter and frustrated. At all.
I'm like a lost snail in the night. |
| apl4eris |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 13:57:17
quote:
Originally posted by speedy_m
! :: No cast. Just a wimpy tensor bandage and a severe limp. I took the crutches back today. Cumbersome. No more sympathy for me, just strange looks at my awkward gait.
Go get them back.
quote:
@ :: It's all I can do to muster pleasantries or a nod of recognition with her, let alone write haikus on napkins for her.
Just sign them: "Not me"
quote:
# :: I don't usually eat there (it's a pub), and when I do, it's rarely food one can arrange to make smiley faces.
Do they have peanuts? She'll have to spend a lot of time admiring your art cleaning those up off the bar.
quote:
$ :: I don't know origami.
What rita said.
quote:
% :: She lives here. Chances she'll stay at a hotel I randomly choose: slim. Though that would confirm that we were meant to be, I suppose. Looks like it's back to askmen.com...
The answer is obvious. You're going to have to kidnap her and take her to the hotel room, take a shower while she's tied up in the bedroom, then show her the mirror.
We smoke while we flip the bird. |
| floop |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 13:49:58
meeting girls in bars is generally pretty dreadful (whether they're bartenders or not).. in my experience anyway.
i think this town worse than most too (that's my excuse anyway)
know what i'm sayin' dawg? |
| n/a |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 13:45:59
Seems like speedy have a problem.
If it's a pub you could go there and have some beers, then you'll feel a lot more free to learn origami.
I feel like a completely different person |
| floop |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 13:37:59
you need a wingman. seriously
know what i'm sayin' dawg? |
| speedy_m |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 13:36:34
Problems, Issues, Caterwauling Feedback.
! :: No cast. Just a wimpy tensor bandage and a severe limp. I took the crutches back today. Cumbersome. No more sympathy for me, just strange looks at my awkward gait.
@ :: It's all I can do to muster pleasantries or a nod of recognition with her, let alone write haikus on napkins for her.
# :: I don't usually eat there (it's a pub), and when I do, it's rarely food one can arrange to make smiley faces.
$ :: I don't know origami.
% :: She lives here. Chances she'll stay at a hotel I randomly choose: slim. Though that would confirm that we were meant to be, I suppose. Looks like it's back to askmen.com...
If you can't handle the entropy, get out of the universe. |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 13:33:28
What if it is? Unless he leave his phone number on the mirror then what good is it gonna do?
Having said that , I WILL try it the next time I stay at a hotel.
Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life
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| apl4eris |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 13:29:58
I'm glad to know you trust me, Mike II. Because I have a plan for "entirely original stalking". The cast adds a nice touch already, then you just need an extra pizazz. Like, writing her haikus on a (clean) napkin, every time you go. Or making a smiley face with the remnants of food on your plate. Or do a Bladerunner - you do know origami, right?
You know what's fun to do? Write something with your finger on a hotel bathroom mirror, then the next person who takes a shower there might notice it when it fogs up. It might be her!
We smoke while we flip the bird. |
| speedy_m |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 13:29:00
See even Mike I won't have me. What chance do I have with real life people?
If you can't handle the entropy, get out of the universe. |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 13:26:44
You know I may be wrong but from that 1 picture I saw of you, you seem like a very good looking bloke. I am pretty sure you could have your pick of women so I really would just go for it. I mean I have no gutts in these situations either but I am pretty sure if I looked like you then I would try a little harder (which would mean just trying at all).
By the way Mike II, I wasn't coming on to you then. We share a name but that's it. OK?
Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life
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| floop |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 13:21:50
well, look at the bright side, there's always stalking..
know what i'm sayin' dawg? |
| speedy_m |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 13:15:31
Update... well, I still suck. I saw her again, she asked me about my ankle (crutches are girl magnets) and I asked her about her recent trip to Mexico. It was pleasant, fairly breif, and quite sterile. Like with a co-worker you don't really know/care about. Suffice it to say I didn't ask her out, nor is it likely that I will. I think I passed the point of the "right time" to do that long ago. It's good to know you think those tips are crap apl, as I trust your opinion more than a sketchy website (only just though ;]).
If you can't handle the entropy, get out of the universe. |
| apl4eris |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 13:05:58
http://www.askmen.com/love/player/52_love_games.html
ok, those tips are absolutely stupid. Big surprise. It's that kind of behavior that I always had an aversion to. So fake and dehumanizing.
How about just say something topical, that you mean? I guess it really depends on all sorts of things, but especially the type of person you're trying to meet.
Whatever you do though, don't invite her to Hawaii or some other distant destination for 2 weeks, from the other side of the store gate, at 2 in the morning. That shit is creepy.
my humble opinion, and late too.
We smoke while we flip the bird. |
| floop |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 12:54:58
speedy.. update please
know what i'm sayin' dawg? |
| Broken Face |
Posted - 04/06/2005 : 18:29:10
has anyone ever experienced the opposite? when a waitress can't leave YOU alone?
there is a shitty faux-diner called Eat N Park in Pittsburgh (and i think all over PA) that i used to go to when i had a lot of reading to do, and get coffee and a small meal and read. and there was this one waitress (lauren i think?) who would sit down at my table, talk to me, bring me coffee every few minutes (which was awesome) and always request that i sat in her section so we could 'talk.' if i was single and if she was a little cuter who knows? but then you either have to a) never go back if it doesn't work out or b) go back and make it awkward all the time
-Brian
If you move I shoots!
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| Carl |
Posted - 04/06/2005 : 18:20:56
It just depends how heavy she is. |
| Malax |
Posted - 04/06/2005 : 17:30:45
And why not? If you have the balls its worth it. If a decent looking girl offered you no strings sex chances are most of us would take it. Girls aren't that different.
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
| WolfManMikeLonely |
Posted - 04/06/2005 : 17:26:16
If all else fails ask them if they want to fuck. It's never worked for me, but I've seen it work. It's a crazy fucking world.
"Hey fuck you if you don't like it."
-Johnny Thunders
www.transposed.net |
| Malax |
Posted - 04/06/2005 : 17:19:22
Waitresses/Barmaids get 'hit on' day in day out they don't even have to be particularly pretty most of the time. I guess the thing to do is to show that you aren't some everyday loser just after the nearest women who will talk to him. Guess you have to pick just the one first though. :)
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
| speedy_m |
Posted - 04/06/2005 : 15:31:50
The thing that sucks is that I always get crushes on waitresses at bars I to to all the time. So if they turn me down it will be all sorts of awkward. Think George and the waitress at Monk's, with the "boyfriend" with the same watch as him.
Oh boy, it's Walk-Around Butt! |
| floop |
Posted - 04/06/2005 : 15:25:58
quote:
Originally posted by speedy_m
Is the barmaid pick-up that much different from the waitress pick up?
Oh boy, it's Walk-Around Butt!
i think the rule of thumb for beautiful, unreachable women (strippers, hookers, bartenders etc..) is always tell them they're smart, instead of complimenting their looks. like that guide says, they get told that night after night.
not that i'm an expert, mind you. but it's true that girls who work those types of jobs are that much more difficult .. (i know because i too always get crushes on them)..
i did pull a date from a beautiful girl once challenging her to a chess game. you can have that one
(i won't tell you about all the times i didn't get dates)
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
