| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| floop |
Posted - 04/01/2005 : 14:27:46
what do you guys think? i have mixed feelings about the matter.. on the one hand, i think people are better off in a long-term relationship (be that "marriage" or whatever you want to call it).. but then there are undeniable pros to not being married too.
and with the divorce rate at 60% now, marriage is holding less water as a sacred institution.
i'm not married at this time. and it's not to say i won't ever get married. but i think this marrying-because-it-seems-like-the-thing-to-do stuff is for the birds. not refering to any married couples here, since i don't know you.. but i do personally know people who are married that i can honestly say they shouldn't be.
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
| 35 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| VoVat |
Posted - 09/22/2007 : 15:23:14
quote:
“We know that somewhere between 40 percent and 50 percent of marriages dissolve,” said Barbara Risman, executive officer of the Council on Contemporary Families, a research group. “Now, when people marry, everyone wonders, is this one of those marriages that will be around for awhile.”
But David Blankenhorn, president of the Institute for American Values, a marriage research and advocacy group, said he was struck that the percentage of people who celebrated their 15th anniversary had declined. “This seems to be saying more recent marriages are more fragile,” Mr. Blankenhorn said.
I think a good rule of thumb is not to trust any organization with "family" or "value" in its name. If it has both, run for the hills immediately.
"If you doze much longer, then life turns to dreaming. If you doze much longer, then dreams turn to nightmares." |
| kathryn |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 12:36:52
quote:
Originally posted by breakmybody
[br
I was going to my 17th anniversary, it's really a life time, but right now, all I'm thinking of is that it was good while it lasted.
And I have another big part of my life to live, with my kids already grown up, and I still feel very youg...
Things may not be as you had imagined but you have your kids and your life. Enjoy both. Go to the show, do all the little things that make you happy. Focus on what makes you happy not on what didn't happen or on what you didn't expect to happen. xo
the cure make me want to die, but in a good way -- mr.biscuitdoughhead
|
| darwin |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 11:16:56
quote:
Originally posted by coastline
Don’t stock up on silver anniversary cards. More than half the Americans who might have celebrated their 25th wedding anniversaries since 2000 were divorced, separated or widowed before reaching that milestone, according to the latest census survey, released yesterday.
[clip]
The survey by the Census Bureau, in 2004, confirmed that most Americans eventually marry, but they are marrying later and are slightly more likely to marry more than once.
Since they're mixing death and divorce, the fact that people are marrying later might explain why fewer are reaching their 25th Anniversary. |
| breakmybody |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 11:15:05
quote:
Originally posted by kathryn
Yeah I read that this morning and felt, once again, glee and relief at not making it to what would have been a 20th wedding anniversary. That was a major life goal for me, to be done with that marriage before 20 years went down the tubes. Eeesh.
That said, marriage is a fine institution and congrats to you all marrieds and yay Brian!
the cure make me want to die, but in a good way -- mr.biscuitdoughhead
I was going to my 17th anniversary, it's really a life time, but right now, all I'm thinking of is that it was good while it lasted.
And I have another big part of my life to live, with my kids already grown up, and I still feel very youg...
You can run, but you can't hide who you are
|
| floop |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 10:40:53
"people age 15 and over"
did they do this study in Kentucky or what? |
| kathryn |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 10:31:41
Yeah I read that this morning and felt, once again, glee and relief at not making it to what would have been a 20th wedding anniversary. That was a major life goal for me, to be done with that marriage before 20 years went down the tubes. Eeesh.
That said, marriage is a fine institution and congrats to you all marrieds and yay Brian!
the cure make me want to die, but in a good way -- mr.biscuitdoughhead
|
| coastline |
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 10:25:44
A little illumination on divorce rates from today's New York Times:
25th Anniversary Mark Elusive for Many Couples
By SAM ROBERTS
Don’t stock up on silver anniversary cards. More than half the Americans who might have celebrated their 25th wedding anniversaries since 2000 were divorced, separated or widowed before reaching that milestone, according to the latest census survey, released yesterday.
For the first time at least since World War II, women and men who married in the late 1970s had a less than even chance of still being married 25 years later.
“We know that somewhere between 40 percent and 50 percent of marriages dissolve,” said Barbara Risman, executive officer of the Council on Contemporary Families, a research group. “Now, when people marry, everyone wonders, is this one of those marriages that will be around for awhile.”
But David Blankenhorn, president of the Institute for American Values, a marriage research and advocacy group, said he was struck that the percentage of people who celebrated their 15th anniversary had declined. “This seems to be saying more recent marriages are more fragile,” Mr. Blankenhorn said.
About 80 percent of first marriages that took place in the late 1950s lasted at least 15 years. Among people who married in the late 1980s for the first time, however, only 61 percent of the men and 57 percent of the women were married 15 years later.
Among currently married women, non-Hispanic whites were the only group in which a majority had marked their 15th anniversary.
The survey by the Census Bureau, in 2004, confirmed that most Americans eventually marry, but they are marrying later and are slightly more likely to marry more than once.
Those trends continued, although the latest numbers suggest an uptick in the divorce rate among people married in the most recent 20 years covered in the report, 1975-1994. The proportion of all Americans who have been divorced, about one in five, remained constant, however.
“Basically, it looks like we’re pretty much holding steady,” said Rose Kreieder, a Census Bureau demographer. “There are not radical differences.”
The survey of the civilian, non-institutionalized population found a number of disparities on the basis of race and ethnicity.
Among men over 15, the percentage who have never been married was 45 percent for blacks, 39 percent for Hispanics, 33 percent for Asians and 28 percent for whites.
Among women over 15, it was 44 percent for blacks, 30 percent for Hispanics, 23 percent for Asians and 22 percent for whites.
Among Americans married in the 1950s, about 70 percent were still married by their 25th anniversary. Only 49.5 percent of men and 46.4 percent of women who married in the late 1970s were married 25 years later.
In 2004, among people in their late 20s, a majority of men — 54 percent — had never married, and 41 percent of women had not. In 1996, the comparable figures were 49 percent among men and 35 percent among women.
In the latest analysis of people age 15 and older, 58 percent of women and 54 percent of men had married only once. In 1996, the figures were about 60 percent for women and 54 percent for men.
One statistical constant has been the so-called seven-year itch, as popularized in the 1950s play and film about errant husbands. Couples who separate do so, on average, after seven years and divorce after eight. The duration of first marriages that end in divorce appears to have increased slightly among men.
Among adults 25 and older who had been divorced, 52 percent of men and 44 percent of women were currently married.
On average, people who marry again typically do so in about three-and-a-half years. Second marriages that end in divorce last about 8.6 years for men and 7.2 years for women.
In 2004, 12 percent of men and 13 percent of women had married twice. Three percent each had married three or more times.
The oldest baby boomers recorded the highest divorce rates. Among people in their 50s, 38 percent of men and 41 percent of women had been divorced. In 1996, the comparable figures were 36 percent and 35 percent.
One factor that also affects the marriage trends is that people are living longer. As a result, the median age at which women in a first marriage were widowed rose from 57.8 in 1996 to 60.3 in 2004. Among men, the median age increased from 59.6 to 61.3.
Census results released last week also confirmed the finding by demographers earlier this year that more American women were living without a husband than with one. Among women 20 and older, 51.2 percent said that they were divorced, separated or their spouse was temporarily absent or that they had never been married when the American Community Survey was taken in 2006.
 Please pardon me, for these my wrongs. |
| PixieSteve |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 15:16:44
quote:
Originally posted by coastline
Hey, baby, wanna see my Galapagos tortoise come out of its shell?
Please pardon me, for these my wrongs.
one of the great things about bipedalism is that it leaves your hands free.... 
We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins |
| coastline |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 15:13:36
Hey, baby, wanna see my Galapagos tortoise come out of its shell?
Please pardon me, for these my wrongs. |
| floop |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 15:03:59
quote:
Originally posted by PixieSteve
darwin, do you bring evolution into arguments with your wife? i think you could get away with a lot if you tried (even if what you said was bullshit, you could pass it off as scientific)
the question is, does darwin talk about evolution when he's 'talking dirty' to his wife.
the answer, of course, is that it's none of our business.
"I am a troll.. and a fag." -LBF |
| darwin |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 13:48:46
I want to revise my previous answer. Darwin didn't know anything about genes, but he knew about heritable variation. That's what he would mean.
And with that I'm gone for a few days. |
| PixieSteve |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 13:38:40
heh, maybe not.
We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins |
| darwin |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 13:36:06
My wife has a PhD in animal behavior and studies anthropology. She would call me on any bullshit. |
| PixieSteve |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 13:17:29
darwin, do you bring evolution into arguments with your wife? i think you could get away with a lot if you tried (even if what you said was bullshit, you could pass it off as scientific)
We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins |
| darwin |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 13:12:04
quote:
Originally posted by trobrianders
What would the other Darwin mean by survival?
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo
Papa Bear Darwin would be referring to the passing of one's genes onto the next generation. Absolutely not the survival of the species. But that doesn't answer what are you talking about? |
| Carolynanna |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 13:09:11
quote:
Originally posted by kathryn
quote:
Originally posted by trobrianders
Tuck away the Divorce Card. I promise I won't make you play it. All what you say and more. No dispute. What interests me is have times changed so much that women will seek divorce even when their men are doing the conventional 'right thing' in a marriage? Are women phasing out conventional marriage? Are men really able to meet women's raised expectations? Or are women waiting for an original response from men to their raised expectations? It just seems to me that women have raised the bar to a level that they know men can't meet under the present rules of engagement and are waiting for men to make a similar seizmic shift but men are just trying to wait it out. Women have really exploded onto the scene and most men are rattling in the wake.
The talk to actual people remark bounced off, I'm a guy after all. You'll just have to take it on trust that these thoughts stem from discussions I've had, mostly with 30-40 something women (my age range) who've usually something original to say. Just quoting text is lame and typically male I guess. But anyway I re-read and get why you might think that. Warm fb.net love is the reason I show up. So don't stop.
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo
Oh thanks a lot, now I have KC and the Sunshine Band's "Keep it coming love" in my head. You bastard!
I dunno what you mean about women raising expectations or the bar or present rules of engagement. I do know that mine is a generation of women (I'm in my 40s) who have university degrees, unlike our mothers who had no means of supporting themselves and so stayed and took the crap.
the cure make me want to die, but in a good way -- mr.biscuitdoughhead
Also the last generation did not have access to our present day birth control. That has made huge differences in the selection process itself.
__________
Fuck off I got work to do. |
| trobrianders |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 13:05:21
What would the other Darwin mean by survival?
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo |
| darwin |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 12:17:22
I don't even know you mean about survival. Survival of what? |
| trobrianders |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 12:11:30
quote:
Originally posted by darwin
[quote]Originally posted by trobrianders
I agree unless something better is in the offing. Only women have radar for that. That's my point.
I actually believe women are choosing something better. But Kathryn took this remark to mean that women are casually shopping around and screwing men over. Like I said, nothing casual about survival. Why aren't men stepping up is the real question.
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo |
| trobrianders |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 11:51:59
quote:
Originally posted by darwin
My question was why only women have a radar for that.
Your postings seem to imply that women are mythical creatures that are a world's difference from men. I do think that roughly our evolutionary history has shaped men and women to seek different things. Men may be after multiple fertile women because men can impregnate a unlimited number of women. Whereas women have to carry the baby for 9 months and then usually provide most of the childcare. So, women benefit from being more choosy than men and in some systems trying to find a mate that is going to provide high quality parental care. But I don't think that means only women are trying to shape the system to fit their needs; men are capable of that as well.
Why only women have a radar for determining what best meets their needs? You're joking, right? Just think of how you go about your daily day. The things you do, small and large, tend to meet your daily needs, no? Nothing mythical about that.
I believe you're right Darwin, we are capable of shaping the system to fit our needs as well as women. Right now we're just too phased to start. We gotta shape up, the women are waiting.
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo |
| trobrianders |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 11:45:00
I know you're not attacking all men. But I am. Nothing 'casual' about survival Kathryn. Women are stepping up but where are the men? That's how I feel about it.
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo |
| darwin |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 11:25:44
My question was why only women have a radar for that.
Your postings seem to imply that women are mythical creatures that are a world's difference from men. I do think that roughly our evolutionary history has shaped men and women to seek different things. Men may be after multiple fertile women because men can impregnate a unlimited number of women. Whereas women have to carry the baby for 9 months and then usually provide most of the childcare. So, women benefit from being more choosy than men and in some systems trying to find a mate that is going to provide high quality parental care. But I don't think that means only women are trying to shape the system to fit their needs; men are capable of that as well. |
| kathryn |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 11:23:53
quote:
Originally posted by trobrianders
quote:
Originally posted by kathryn
I dunno what you mean about women raising expectations or the bar or present rules of engagement. I do know that mine is a generation of women (I'm in my 40s) who have university degrees, unlike our mothers who had no means of supporting themselves and so stayed and took the crap.
the cure make me want to die, but in a good way -- mr.biscuitdoughhead
Now that's just coy! But maybe a slip? You sort of agree with me that men are only capable of delivering crap? I'm just saying men need to try harder is all. My god if women aren't worth it I don't wanna live.
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo
How am I being coy? And, honey, I know plenty of men who are wonderful. I never said that an entire gender is only capable of one thing and one thing only. Some men need to try harder, some women, too. I guess I've lost the point now.
I was speaking to your point about women casually looking for the next best thing and putting that in the context of my lucky and relief at being able to leave a bad situation, in contrast to past/recent generations of women.
the cure make me want to die, but in a good way -- mr.biscuitdoughhead
|
| trobrianders |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 11:18:28
quote:
Originally posted by kathryn
I dunno what you mean about women raising expectations or the bar or present rules of engagement. I do know that mine is a generation of women (I'm in my 40s) who have university degrees, unlike our mothers who had no means of supporting themselves and so stayed and took the crap.
the cure make me want to die, but in a good way -- mr.biscuitdoughhead
Now that's just coy! But maybe a slip? You sort of agree with me that men are only capable of delivering crap? I'm just saying men need to try harder is all. My god if women aren't worth it I don't wanna live.
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo |
| kathryn |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 11:14:07
quote:
Originally posted by darwin
quote:
Originally posted by trobrianders
I agree unless something better is in the offing. Only women have radar for that. That's my point.
Why would that be?
Yeah. And I think darwin can frame this in a more cogent way but wouldn't you think that because it's women who get, um, saddled with most of child-rearing it's women who are more likely to stick it out in a two-parent situation? Plus, empirically, I know more men who stray maritally than women. Again, awaiting darwin who actually knows what's he's talking about.
the cure make me want to die, but in a good way -- mr.biscuitdoughhead
|
| trobrianders |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 11:13:26
quote:
Originally posted by darwin
quote:
Originally posted by trobrianders
I agree unless something better is in the offing. Only women have radar for that. That's my point.
Why would that be?
Hmmm. Why do I agree? Or Why might something better be in the offing? Or why do only women have radar for that? Or why am I making that point? Try harder. Men need to try harder.
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo |
| darwin |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 11:07:55
quote:
Originally posted by trobrianders
I agree unless something better is in the offing. Only women have radar for that. That's my point.
Why would that be? |
| kathryn |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 11:00:07
quote:
Originally posted by trobrianders
Tuck away the Divorce Card. I promise I won't make you play it. All what you say and more. No dispute. What interests me is have times changed so much that women will seek divorce even when their men are doing the conventional 'right thing' in a marriage? Are women phasing out conventional marriage? Are men really able to meet women's raised expectations? Or are women waiting for an original response from men to their raised expectations? It just seems to me that women have raised the bar to a level that they know men can't meet under the present rules of engagement and are waiting for men to make a similar seizmic shift but men are just trying to wait it out. Women have really exploded onto the scene and most men are rattling in the wake.
The talk to actual people remark bounced off, I'm a guy after all. You'll just have to take it on trust that these thoughts stem from discussions I've had, mostly with 30-40 something women (my age range) who've usually something original to say. Just quoting text is lame and typically male I guess. But anyway I re-read and get why you might think that. Warm fb.net love is the reason I show up. So don't stop.
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo
Oh thanks a lot, now I have KC and the Sunshine Band's "Keep it coming love" in my head. You bastard!
I dunno what you mean about women raising expectations or the bar or present rules of engagement. I do know that mine is a generation of women (I'm in my 40s) who have university degrees, unlike our mothers who had no means of supporting themselves and so stayed and took the crap.
the cure make me want to die, but in a good way -- mr.biscuitdoughhead
|
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 10:58:37
quote:
Originally posted by trobrianders
Warm fb.net love is the reason I show up.
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo
So it's not for floop's Apocalypto musings?
 I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
|
| trobrianders |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 10:57:41
quote:
Originally posted by darwin
quote:
Originally posted by trobrianders
On the more philosophical point about men controlling women throughout history and men being interchangeable; I'm thinking that, given the absolute free choice, women would prefer a communal, kibbutz-type of life where support comes from all quarters and sex is enjoyed whenever and with whomever it makes sense at the time over traditional monogamy/patriarchy, so long as the kids are alright with it.
Monogamy may be the favorable system for females.
I agree unless something better is in the offing. Only women have radar for that. That's my point.
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo |
| trobrianders |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 10:47:51
Tuck away the Divorce Card. I promise I won't make you play it. All what you say and more. No dispute. What interests me is have times changed so much that women will seek divorce even when their men are doing the conventional 'right thing' in a marriage? Are women phasing out conventional marriage? Are men really able to meet women's raised expectations? Or are women waiting for an original response from men to their raised expectations? It just seems to me that women have raised the bar to a level that they know men can't meet under the present rules of engagement and are waiting for men to make a similar seizmic shift but men are just trying to wait it out. Women have really exploded onto the scene and most men are rattling in the wake.
The talk to actual people remark bounced off, I'm a guy after all. You'll just have to take it on trust that these thoughts stem from discussions I've had, mostly with 30-40 something women (my age range) who've usually something original to say. Just quoting text is lame and typically male I guess. But anyway I re-read and get why you might think that. Warm fb.net love is the reason I show up. So don't stop.
_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo |
| kathryn |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 10:45:46
No but he posted some compelling photos of himself. And I will just leave it at that. No, I will also add that offerw is one hot hunka man. And now I am blushing.
the cure make me want to die, but in a good way -- mr.biscuitdoughhead
|
| coastline |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 10:42:09
quote:
Originally posted by kathryn
oh coasty, you weren't here when all we did on general chat was post sex threads. you would have had fun then.
the cure make me want to die, but in a good way -- mr.biscuitdoughhead
Did KOK post YouTube clips?
Please pardon me, for these my wrongs. |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 10:34:01
You HAVE to laugh.
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
|
| floop |
Posted - 08/30/2007 : 10:30:51
quote:
Originally posted by darwin
But males (be they humans or other animals) aren't going to help care and provide for offspring if there is a high amount of uncertainty that the offspring are theirs.
which is best exemplified in this youtube clip http://youtube.com/watch?v=I-4-RJj_fzQ
"I am a troll.. and a fag." -LBF |
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