| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Elephant |
Posted - 02/28/2005 : 15:26:54
I guess these almost belong in my "Stories From the Ghetto" thread, but their not from the ghetto, their from a little tiny scary town.
My mother lived on a farm (with eleven brothers and sisters) and this was the closest town to them. So in-light of this fact we find ourselves visiting her old uninhabited home as a family (usualy with our cousines, uncles, aunts and our immediate family.
So, of course this town is kind of isolated - and being so, some of the inhabitants are completely debunked of sanity. The town consists of NATIVE AMERICANS and old widows.
This town, is a ghost town during the day. But during the night, it turns into a three ring circus.
We all went up there for once of our almost "family reunions" and this time - my brother brought some of his friends. I think four or five. Of course, all of them being underage they decided to search for some liqour.
Nobody would sell it to them, so they went looking for someone to bootleg this liqour for them. The first stop they made was a old AFRICAN AMERICAN sitting on a curb. They asked him if he know where to find some beer.
He said they if they gave him money he would go buy some beer for them, so trusting the man he came closer to the truck to discuss the exchange.
In-doing so, he had noticed Matt (one of my brother's friends) who has shoulder length hair dark hair. When the old man had seen this, he bagan to freak out. He said "You cut my friend!" and started shouting this almost like a chant.
He came up to Matt's side of the car (he was driving) and Matt quickly locked his door and took off as fast as he could. They proceeded to look for someoone else too bootleg for them (preferbaly not a screaming drunk old Indian) and talked to a homeless man sitting on a curb near a back alley.
They aksed him if he could bootleg for them, but he wouldn't really responde to them. All he did was ask if they had "Seen his bag of money" so my brother's friends asked the man what he was talking about.
He began to explain that he had hid a bag of money in the back alleys, and he couldn't find it. He had everyone convinced in the car that he really HAD hid a bag of money, and their was discussion in the car if they should help the man look for it.
I remember that night my brother had a hard time sleeping in the camp ground we were staying at. |
| 14 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Elephant |
Posted - 03/05/2005 : 01:32:15
Also... I'm going to put both Will Smith and Ben Stiller in it and on the posters and in the trailers I'll put "A romnatic feel-good comedy!". Then when all the yuppies come into the theater thinking their going to get a nice simplistic movie I'll hit em' with some ULTRA-PRETENSIOUS OVERLY-OSTENTATIOUS SHIT! And also, Alien Hookers - just for you. |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 03/03/2005 : 04:59:36
Sounds cool. Don't forget those alien hookers though. It will bomb at the box office without them. |
| Elephant |
Posted - 03/02/2005 : 17:54:54
I think I should drag all these stories out into a movie, and kind of do it in a QT style where as in "Pulp Fiction" I kind of brake the script into peices then introduce them in a out-of-order type fashion. |
| VoVat |
Posted - 03/02/2005 : 16:39:21
quote:
Perhaps you could modify it, add some aliens or hookers, or alien hookers.
Well, really, what story COULDN'T use some alien hookers? I know I would have enjoyed Shakespeare's plays more if he'd added some!
"Reunion? Shit union!" |
| Elephant |
Posted - 02/28/2005 : 16:56:48
That's probably one of his last blowjobs he's ever got. I'm sure he has some sort of post-hostage trama where whenever a girl tries to go down on him he begins to freak out.
I know I would. |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 02/28/2005 : 16:53:39
But he got his cock sucked right? Aint all bad.
Seriously though, I can't believe the guy's name was Surreal. Kind of fits the story.
Pure Reason Revolution |
| Elephant |
Posted - 02/28/2005 : 16:51:32
Oh yeah, on a side-note. Onetime I was in a car while someone was filling it at a gas-station and there was a topless man infront of the car, accross the road, who was in a karate-type fashion beating the hell out a fence.
He was using karate chops and karate kicks, and he was topless, probably drunk, and he had kicked a few peices of wood from the fence. |
| Elephant |
Posted - 02/28/2005 : 16:47:20
Ok ok ok...
Well my brother has these two friends, Hurtz and Surreal. They live in Calgary, Alberta at the time. They're probably two of the horniest guys I've ever met in my entier life.
Anyways, they share a apparetment together. So they decided to go to a bar one night, and at this bar they had noticed that they were pretty much the only two white people in the entier bar. The rest of the bar was full of black guys.
However one woman sat down beside them at the bar, she was, apparently - pretty hot. So they decided to sit and talk with her. After conversation they decide to go back to Hurtz and Surreal's place.
So on the way out of the bar the lady they just picked up starts beating the hell out of these two girls waiting in-line. From the sound of it they never even really exchange words. The girl they were with just starting fighting them.
The cops eventually showed up and they took the girl they were with into the back of the cop car, on the way back there she throug her purse to Surreal, or maybe it was Hurtz - I don't know.
So they question her, and they're takling with the other girls, and then they come talk with Hurtz, or Surreal - I don't know. Upon this he begins to explain that the ladies outside of the bar just viciously started attacking the girl they were with, (I assume this is the same story their girl in the back of the cop car had told) so they let em' go, and I'm pretty sure they probably drug the two poor girls who got the shit beat out of them to jail that night for assult or something like it.
So they're in a cab, with Hurtz, Surreal, and the girl. So they girl thanks Hurtz, or maybe Surreal - I don't know, for holding her purse. She says that she's very greatful and proceeds to suck his cock.
Upon this, Hurtz and Surreal think they're going to be "tag teaming" her that night, so they go back to their aparetment. When they get there Hurtz, or maybe Surreal - I don't know, begins to perv on this girl hard-core.
Eventually she's showing disgust and pulls the other guy (who held her purse) into the back of the apartment. He thinks he's going to fuck her at this point, so he goes along.
When they get there, she pulls a gun out of her purse and points it at him. She begins to shout about how she's sick of his friend perving her out and how she's going to blow his fucking brains out if he does it again.
So he's obviously shaken by this recent turn of events, and trys to cool the chick down. Thinking that him and his friend will turn into mush against a wall.
She begins to explain how she has ties with the Hell's Angels and how she is the daughter of one of the chapter leaders or something.
Eventually he gets the girl cooled down and she leaves their apartment, Hurtz and Surreal haven't made any vicious attempts to get laid to date. They're now not only scared of females, but also sex itself.
Even telling this story they both seemed scared. That's the only reason I really believe it, apart from that - Calgary is a very crazy city. |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 02/28/2005 : 16:04:47
HELL NO! I want this story now. Reminds me of the late Hunter S Thompson, and you can receive no higher praise for your story than that.
Pure Reason Revolution |
| Elephant |
Posted - 02/28/2005 : 16:00:00
Ha ha ha. I don't know if I've told the story about the same friends almost getting shot by one of Hell's Angel's leader's daughters after getting a blowjob in the back of a taxi from her.
Maybe I will save it for another time... |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 02/28/2005 : 15:54:19
I thought so, I just didn't want to assume. Carry on.
By the way, I don't really wish any harm on your brother or his friends but I thought that story was gonna end with the homeless guy slashing them all to death or summat. Not the greatest ending. Perhaps you could modify it, add some aliens or hookers, or alien hookers.
Just kidding.
Pure Reason Revolution |
| Elephant |
Posted - 02/28/2005 : 15:43:28
Because I like saying Indian instead of NATIVE AMERICAN. But some people view it as racist. I think it's stupid how people think just because you say "Indian" you're trying to be offencive to a specific race.
It's like tip-toeing around calling someone black instead of AFRICAN AMERICAN and the actual fact that someone might get offended by you calling them black. |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 02/28/2005 : 15:41:08
What was the significance of the words in bold type?
Pure Reason Revolution |
| Cult_Of_Frank |
Posted - 02/28/2005 : 15:31:29
That's creepy indeed, but not really representative of Saskatchewan. Still, be thankful you weren't in PA.
 "Join the Cult of Frank / Seriously." |
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