| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| floop |
Posted - 01/04/2005 : 15:27:26
best:
i once convinced a girl in jr. high that my shoes were made out of python skin
in college i convinced a bunch of people at a party that my friend's leg cast was due to a shark attack (he had to play along)
worst:
in high school i tried to fight a traffic ticket using a highly un-thought-out defense (that, in fact, i DID stop at the stop sign; i thought the officer wouldn't show up).
the police officer presented my written testimony.
OFFICER: Do you know that you ran that stop sign?
ME: Yes.
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
| 23 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 12:36:23
Hehehe, fair enough. Sounds like he had a good time.
"All music if folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song."
Louis Armstrong |
| Cult_Of_Frank |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 12:31:22
quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
quote:
Originally posted by Cult_Of_Frank
Best and Worst -
Anyway, these two were not so bright and completely fooled, and both flashed me for the one pair of beads I had plus started grinding with me (!) after learning I was Spanish. And eventually, I remembered that I had a friend drunk on the wall I had to take care of, so I had to excuse myself and go get him, but that's about the dirtiest lie I ever got into telling and I'm both proud and completely not proud of it at the same time.
 "Join the Cult of Frank 2.0 / And you'll be enlightened (free for 1.x members)"
You went back to your friend!? Are you mad!?
"All music if folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song."
Louis Armstrong
The guy was trying to buy drinks for some larger pebbles on the floor (albeit shapely ones), I kinda' felt like he probably wouldn't last long without me.
"Join the Cult of Frank 2.0 / And you'll be enlightened (free for 1.x members)" |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 12:29:36
He deserves capital punishment!
"All music if folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song."
Louis Armstrong |
| BLT |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 12:14:02
quote:
Originally posted by floop
Thousands of times in my life i have successfully pretended not to be the one who dealt it.
floop used a capital letter! |
| floop |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 12:09:28
thousands of times in my life i have successfully pretended not to be the one who dealt it.
the key is not to be the first one who smelt it. but also not the last.
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
| kathryn |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 11:37:48
These are so good. I have nothing, nothing. I am in awe of you guys.
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Frank |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 11:20:24
quote:
Originally posted by Tre
Not my best but one I enjoyed
We were both at the same school and given terrible hassle by a boy called Leon, big tall chap. I was all for smacking him but he was a big lad and could probably have floored me.
Frank Black ate my hamster
Floored you!? He could have taken you out from a thousand yards.
You should have just told him that milk was actually Bull sperm.
"All music if folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song."
Louis Armstrong |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 11:18:43
quote:
Originally posted by Cult_Of_Frank
Best and Worst -
Anyway, these two were not so bright and completely fooled, and both flashed me for the one pair of beads I had plus started grinding with me (!) after learning I was Spanish. And eventually, I remembered that I had a friend drunk on the wall I had to take care of, so I had to excuse myself and go get him, but that's about the dirtiest lie I ever got into telling and I'm both proud and completely not proud of it at the same time.
"Join the Cult of Frank 2.0 / And you'll be enlightened (free for 1.x members)"
You went back to your friend!? Are you mad!?
"All music if folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song."
Louis Armstrong |
| BLT |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 10:15:30
When I was 9 and my sister was 6, I convinced her that she was adopted. |
| n/a |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 02:10:19
Not my best but one I enjoyed
At my first high school I hung out with a girl called Amanda from a family of practising pagans, I used to go over her house for all the festivals (imbol, lammas, solstice etc) and sometimes we'd go on trips to Glastonbury or Bridgenorth. Being at the young witchy age we both had books on the natural arts and the white arts (I had a secret book of the black arts that scared the shit out of me, my godfather gave it to me) it was good times! We were both at the same school and given terrible hassle by a boy called Leon, big tall chap. I was all for smacking him but he was a big lad and could probably have floored me. We cooked up a plot where I bought my black arts book and a packet of blood capsules (The ones you bite and it looks like you are bleeding from the mouth) into school one day and she got a sulfur-based smoke screen from her uncle (less known there the better I think) and on one break we convinced this Leon lad that for his constant bullying we were going to put a curse on him. He scoffed but came over to watch. We read from the book and she set off the smoke (A little disappointing this, a pathetically petite plume of yellow smoke) which was my cue to bite the capsule, I got quite into it and started shaking and speaking in tongues and spitting this fake blood everywhere. Although it's a little funny to think back at it this lad was pretty convinced and went a little pale, so I lurched at him still gibbering and spraying 'blood' and he ran as fast as his lanky legs could carry him.
Never bothered us again.
Monsieurs Atom bomb reminded me of this, gosh the things you do as a kid eh?
Frank Black ate my hamster |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 01:15:34
When I was 10 I convinced some of my friends that I was able to make an atomic bomb. Their parents knew my parents, so after a week or so my father started calling me Einstein. Have you finished your homework, Einstein?
I will show you fear in a handful of dust |
| Cult_Of_Frank |
Posted - 01/04/2005 : 19:05:53
Best and Worst - When I visit a country, I tend to get wrapped up in the way they speak. In New York, it was the cooffee. In Europe, I'd do my best to learn some of the foreign language of the country I was in....
We were in Mexico at a Mardi Gras bar called Phat Tuesdays. I was definitely tipsy or worse, but my friend was outright "can't stand under my own power" drunk. We had only been there a few days and hadn't gone on a hotel excursion yet, so we didn't know if we were going to be missed if we ducked out and went to the hotel early. Now, I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but he couldn't stand under his own power any more. Prior to deciding to go back to the hotel, we were up on the colliseum type stairs surrounding the out door patio (there's only three) and he fell down face first into them, albeit in slow motion. He wasn't hurt, and, in fact, managed to procure some beads which, being attached and drunk, he gave to me, who had been unable to get any beads all night. I did end up getting a second set later, but...
So anyway, we decided a little later we were going to go home 'cause he was falling and going to get himself trampled, so I leaned him against a wall and went to find the entertainment coordinators. Two steps away, a girl ask me for one of my beads, I say, "What do I get out of the deal?" and she asks "What do you want?" to which I reply, "A hug would be kinda' nice". Yeah, don't start with me. I got my hug at any rate, and wandered off shaking my head at my self.
I overheard some Spanish people talking and was practicing in my head talking like them as I kept searching for hotel guests, entertainment crew, etc. This time, two girls stop me and I answer them, completely wrapped up in my Spanish accent practice and totally by accident, with a Spanish accent of my own.
Well, I can't just lose the accent now or they'll wonder what the hell I'm doing, so I go with it and they ask which part of Mexico I'm from, and I answer I live west. What city. Gah! I don't know. Because of no time for hesitation, I do the Seinfeld thing and mumble something whilst rubbing my nose. It works, except they ask me again. I mumble louder, they nod.
We talk a little more, and, of course, it turns out these girls know Spanish. Which I don't. At all. Hola. Como esta? Dos cerveza por favor. Gracious. That's about it. So she tries a sentence on me, and I ask her to repeat (it's loud in there). She repeats and I say, "I'm sorry, I don't know what you are saying." thinking I'm busted. She replies, "Oh, my Spanish must be a little rusty, I was trying to ask ..." to which I smile and say, "Oh, I see, very good. Your Spanish is better than my English."
Anyway, these two were not so bright and completely fooled, and both flashed me for the one pair of beads I had plus started grinding with me (!) after learning I was Spanish. And eventually, I remembered that I had a friend drunk on the wall I had to take care of, so I had to excuse myself and go get him, but that's about the dirtiest lie I ever got into telling and I'm both proud and completely not proud of it at the same time.
"Join the Cult of Frank 2.0 / And you'll be enlightened (free for 1.x members)" |
| darwin |
Posted - 01/04/2005 : 16:55:23
I once had a friend convinced that I had a large Great Dane, but it was out on walk or something whenever he was at my house. It went on for 2 years. I constantly have my 6 year old daughter confused.
Worst lie: mom walks in on me hugging the toilet losing all of my night's drinking (I was maybe 16 or 17). She asks, "Have you been drinking?" Me: "No, mom." The room probably reeked of wine cooler (this was in the 80s). |
| kathryn |
Posted - 01/04/2005 : 16:48:23
These are good. Very good.
The girls down the hall from me freshman year convinced
the hall counselor that a transfer student had been
assigned to our dorm wing. They carried out an elaborate
lie, based on a ficticious student, for the whole semester.
But I had nothing to do with it. So it's not my lie. I will have
to ponder this and get back to you. Funny, I lie all the time (little
white lies that grease the wheels of daily interaction) but I
can't think of a good lie or a bad one or one worth relating.
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Frank |
| frank black conspiracy |
Posted - 01/04/2005 : 16:04:15
quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
Does that also make it my worst lie then?
nope. well, only now.
you weren't to know technology would catch up with you
if this to be your worst, you're a very good boy.
bet your mum's proud.
|
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 01/04/2005 : 15:59:24
Hehe, way to get out of that one Brian.
"All music if folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song."
Louis Armstrong |
| Broken Face |
Posted - 01/04/2005 : 15:56:05
believe it or not, i once convinced a friend that the reason for pittsburgh's cold weather is an evil old man who lived atop mount washington and fired things into the sky that would affect the weather - and he was a biology major (19 at the time)
and when i was in jr. high my friend dan and i totally invented a radio station (KLOP from Cincinatti, The Klop for short) that we convinced another friend we could pick up on dan's am radio. we went to such lengths as inventing a jingle for it, talking about different shows on it, etc for over a year, and whenever he'd come over dan's we'd put on this spanish station and claim that for an hour a day (the "espanol espan-hour") it went to spanish talk. i don't know why we invented it, or what purpose it served, but it went on for over a year.
my worst lie was probably when i was planning a suprise party for ms. broken face and she called me to ask where i was (i was really out planning w/ her parents) and i said "Oh, i'm eating dinner w/ my Dad" to which she replied "no you're not, i just called his house" and to which i said that she woke him up from a nap and that he didn't know what he was saying in his half-awake state.
-Brian
If you move I shoots!
|
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 01/04/2005 : 15:55:04
quote:
Originally posted by frank black conspiracy
quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
The best I can think of is convincing a boy that lived near my grandma, that I had two 'real' Transformers at home. One that transformed into a car
That's no lie HPM.
I've seen the Citroen ad.
The French don't lie.
But the car can sure dance.
Does that also make it my worst lie then?
"All music if folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song."
Louis Armstrong |
| n/a |
Posted - 01/04/2005 : 15:50:33
That ad rules
I got fucked twice by CCTV I just remembered, I got in with the 'wrong crowd' for a while and we bunked off one afternoon and went to the chip shop and technically 'broke in' to a block of flats, we were in the top floor fire escape when this kid Alex set fire to the chip papers. We freaked a little and Alex pissed all over the papers to put the fire out. The next day, head masters office CCTV footage, what the fuck were we thinking he asked?? Alex quite calmly said "I was feeling a little destructive but I soon realised the error of my ways as you can see by the fact I was so keen to put the fire out I urinated on it, sir" it was really hard not to laugh.
Frank Black ate my hamster |
| frank black conspiracy |
Posted - 01/04/2005 : 15:44:47
quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
The best I can think of is convincing a boy that lived near my grandma, that I had two 'real' Transformers at home. One that transformed into a car
That's no lie HPM.
I've seen the Citroen ad.
The French don't lie.
But the car can sure dance. |
| floop |
Posted - 01/04/2005 : 15:43:45
quote:
Originally posted by Tre
best
My impish best friend Jon and I at school convinved my young naive brother that gladioli were called clitorisis and sent him into the shop to buy a bunch for mothers day
that's the best laugh i've had all day
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 01/04/2005 : 15:39:47
The best I can think of is convincing a boy that lived near my grandma, that I had two 'real' Transformers at home. One that transformed into a car (that I could drive), and one that transformed into a futuristic fighter jet (which I could fly). Dumb kid! Then again, I have always been an excellent actor. I should be famous.
The worst is tougher. I'll have a think and get back to you.
"All music if folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song."
Louis Armstrong |
| n/a |
Posted - 01/04/2005 : 15:38:54
best
My impish best friend Jon and I at school convinved my young naive brother that gladioli were called clitorisis and sent him into the shop to buy a bunch for mothers day
worst
My impish best friend Jon and I at school got called into the head masters office accused of chasing some vile girl with a dead pigeon. We denied most vehemently until the headmaster pulled out the CCTV video.
Frank Black ate my hamster |
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