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Honeycomb review: RifRaf (Belgian fanzine)

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[quote][i]Originally posted by jediroller[/i]
[br]Sorry Kathryn, it is NOT a Belgian joke - but this one is really funny in its own twisted way.

"C��tait un dimanche soir de juin, le soleil �clatait de toute son ardeur estivale sous les vivats d�une foule impatiente, Frank Black �tait de retour entre deux tourn�es des Pixies le retour, il avait m�me trouv� le temps d�enregistrer un hommage au toujours aussi sublime 'Blonde On Blonde' de Bob Dylan (sans doute l�album du ma�tre � poss�der absolument, avec 'Blood On The Tracks' et 'Highway 61 Revisited'). Et dans la bonne humeur ambiante, nombre d�oreilles inattentives, se refusant le moindre effort de concentration en ce d�but d��t� tant attendu, pass�rent � c�t� des comptines jazzy-country-folk du camarade de jeu de Kim Deal, souvent � raison (l�ennuyeux 'Selkie Bride', la reprise de 'Song Of The Shrimp' d�Elvis Presley), parfois � tort ('Burn Today' [sic] et sa m�lancolie entra�nante, le duo 'Strange Goodbye' avec l�habituellement �pouvantable Courtney Love, bien discr�te ici et on ne s�en plaindra pas), dans l�ensemble il avait d�autres chats � fouetter que ces ritournelles ressass�es d�un autre �ge dont le principal m�rite est avant d�exister [sic]. Les fans des Pixies risquent fort peu d�appr�cier, qui peut leur donner tort ?"

and a jediroller'd version:

"It was a Sunday night in June, the sun shone in all its summery glory under the hurrahs of an impatient crowd, Frank Black was back between two Pixies comeback tours, he had even found the time to record an homage to Bob Dylan�s ever sublime 'Blonde On Blonde' (the master�s #1-must-have album, along with 'Blood On The Tracks' and 'Highway 61 Revisited'). And in the general good mood, a number of distracted ears, refusing any effort of concentration in the beginning of this long-awaited summer, missed these jazzy-country-folk rhymes from Kim Deal�s playmate. Often with reason (the boring 'Selkie Bride', the cover of Elvis Presley�s 'Song Of The Shrimp'), sometimes without (Burn Today [sic] and its catchy melancholia, the duet on 'Strange Goodbye' with the usually awful Courtney Love, really restrained for once, which we won�t complain about), on the whole he had other fish to fry than these rehashed ditties from another era, whose main quality is that they exist. Pixies fans will certainly not appreciate, who can blame them?"

[hr][size=1]My evil twin would lie and steal
And he would stink of sex-appeal[/size=1]
[/quote]

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T O P I C R E V I E W
jediroller	Posted - 07/12/2005 : 05:39:43 Sorry Kathryn, it is NOT a Belgian joke - but this one is really funny in its own twisted way. "C��tait un dimanche soir de juin, le soleil �clatait de toute son ardeur estivale sous les vivats d�une foule impatiente, Frank Black �tait de retour entre deux tourn�es des Pixies le retour, il avait m�me trouv� le temps d�enregistrer un hommage au toujours aussi sublime 'Blonde On Blonde' de Bob Dylan (sans doute l�album du ma�tre � poss�der absolument, avec 'Blood On The Tracks' et 'Highway 61 Revisited'). Et dans la bonne humeur ambiante, nombre d�oreilles inattentives, se refusant le moindre effort de concentration en ce d�but d��t� tant attendu, pass�rent � c�t� des comptines jazzy-country-folk du camarade de jeu de Kim Deal, souvent � raison (l�ennuyeux 'Selkie Bride', la reprise de 'Song Of The Shrimp' d�Elvis Presley), parfois � tort ('Burn Today' [sic] et sa m�lancolie entra�nante, le duo 'Strange Goodbye' avec l�habituellement �pouvantable Courtney Love, bien discr�te ici et on ne s�en plaindra pas), dans l�ensemble il avait d�autres chats � fouetter que ces ritournelles ressass�es d�un autre �ge dont le principal m�rite est avant d�exister [sic]. Les fans des Pixies risquent fort peu d�appr�cier, qui peut leur donner tort ?" and a jediroller'd version: "It was a Sunday night in June, the sun shone in all its summery glory under the hurrahs of an impatient crowd, Frank Black was back between two Pixies comeback tours, he had even found the time to record an homage to Bob Dylan�s ever sublime 'Blonde On Blonde' (the master�s #1-must-have album, along with 'Blood On The Tracks' and 'Highway 61 Revisited'). And in the general good mood, a number of distracted ears, refusing any effort of concentration in the beginning of this long-awaited summer, missed these jazzy-country-folk rhymes from Kim Deal�s playmate. Often with reason (the boring 'Selkie Bride', the cover of Elvis Presley�s 'Song Of The Shrimp'), sometimes without (Burn Today [sic] and its catchy melancholia, the duet on 'Strange Goodbye' with the usually awful Courtney Love, really restrained for once, which we won�t complain about), on the whole he had other fish to fry than these rehashed ditties from another era, whose main quality is that they exist. Pixies fans will certainly not appreciate, who can blame them?" My evil twin would lie and steal And he would stink of sex-appeal
30 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First)
vilainde	Posted - 07/13/2005 : 06:59:40 Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore Riding through the land Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore Without a merry band He steals from the poor and gives to the rich Stupid bitch Denis I know the god of rock n roll / Yeah I sold him my soul!
two reelers	Posted - 07/13/2005 : 06:55:37 ...he steals from the rich, and gives to the pooooor - dennis moooore, dennis mooore ! I joined the cult of Souled American / 'cause they are a damn' fine band
jediroller	Posted - 07/13/2005 : 06:35:11 ~~Maybe Dave Noisy edited the Python compilations~~ My evil twin would lie and steal And he would stink of sex-appeal
vilainde	Posted - 07/13/2005 : 06:12:04 Upper-class twat of the year is pretty good too. I didn't know that skit either, actually it's part of the fantastic Dennis Moore episode. Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, riding through the wind... Denis I know the god of rock n roll / Yeah I sold him my soul!
geertos	Posted - 07/13/2005 : 06:03:59 Lol. Didn't know that sketch. Weird it didn't make any of the compilations I've seen, cause it's way better than e.g. Upper-class twit of the year, even just reading that.
vilainde	Posted - 07/13/2005 : 05:55:44 "Good evening and welcome to another edition of 'Prejudice' - the show that gives you a chance to have a go at Wops, Krauts, Nigs, Eyeties, Gippos, Bubbles, Froggies, Chinks, Yidds, Jocks, Polacks, Paddies and Dagoes." (applause; he goes to desk at side of stage) SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'ALL FACTS VERIFIED BY THE RHODESIAN POLICE' "Tonight's show comes live from the tiny village of Rabid in Buckinghamshire, and our first question tonight is from a Mrs Elizabeth Scrint who says she is going on a Mediterranean cruise next week and can't find anything wrong with the Syrians. Well, Mrs Scrint, apart from being totally unprincipled left-wing troublemakers, the Syrians are also born skivers, they're dirty, smelly and untrustworthy, and, of course, they're friends of the awful gippos. (applause) There you are, Mrs Scrint, I hope that answers some of your problems - have a nice trip. (more applause) Well now, the result of last week's competition when we asked you to find a derogatory term for the Belgians. Well, the response was enormous and we took quite a long time sorting out the winners. There were some very clever entries. Mrs Hatred of Leicester Said 'let's not call them anything, let's just ignore them' ... (applause starts vigorously, but he holds his hands up for silence) ... and a Mr St John of Huntingdon said he couldn't think of anything more derogatory than Belgians. (cheers and applause; a girl in showgirl costume comes on and holds up placards through next bit) But in the end we settled on three choices: number three ... the Sprouts (placard 'The Sprouts'), sent in by Mrs Vicious of Hastings... very nice ; number two..... the Phlegms (placard) ... from Mrs Childmolester of Worthing; but the winner was undoubtedly from Mrs No-Supper-For-You from Norwood in Lancashire... Miserable Fat Belgian Bastards. (placard; roar of applause) Very good - thank you, Carol. (Carol exits) But as you know on this programme we're not just prejudiced against race or colour, we're also prejudiced against - yes, you've guessed, stinking homosexuals! (applause) So before the streets start emptying in Chelsea tonight, Let's go straight over to our popular prejudiced panel game and invite you once again to - Shoot The Poof! And could our first contestant sign in please." Denis I know the god of rock n roll / Yeah I sold him my soul!
geertos	Posted - 07/13/2005 : 05:46:02 That one is actually quite funny :) Rock me Amadeus: it read it somewhere, maybe already three or four years ago. Don't know why I still remember it...
two reelers	Posted - 07/13/2005 : 05:10:32 another entry in the competetion "worst description" was: "no need for a new name. let's just call 'em 'belgians', that's bad enough". seriously, i have no clue about "rock me amadeus" being voted as best rock song. as every country, austria has some nice sides, some bad sides. the interest & taste in music belongs to the latter. I joined the cult of Souled American / 'cause they are a damn' fine band
francis_fishpaw	Posted - 07/13/2005 : 03:39:09 True. It used to be alright.
kathryn	Posted - 07/13/2005 : 03:37:17 quote: Originally posted by geertos I prefer a descreption an English rock journalist once gave for Belgium: "Belgium is brilliant. Its motto could be "What the fuck". It's like Jamaica, without the boring sunshine." I can't stop laughing........... Sometimes, no matter how shitty things get, you have to just do a little dance. - Frank
geertos	Posted - 07/13/2005 : 03:26:59 I don't know... Maybe nowadays. I haven't read it in the last 5 years really. But in 1994-1998, the pre-internet-days (at least for me), it was a great source for at least getting introduced to some great bands.
Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo	Posted - 07/13/2005 : 02:55:56 Oasis? Genuine rock'n roll... Never heard such a funny Belgium/Irish joke... ****
francis_fishpaw	Posted - 07/13/2005 : 02:15:40 The Rifraf staff is a bunch of a**holes. Simply. I personnally think they miss the point on most reviews... I remember one day one of their reviewers wrote a huge article about how the Oasis live album embodied the true, genuine Rock'n'roll and everything... Waaah! The worst of all is that I think the guy really believed what he wrote! Not to mention the stupid moron ("fp") who always writes 3O lines of pseudo-poetic stuff without saying a word about the album he's supposed to deal with... So forget about Rifraf; they don't deserve any attention, really.
Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo	Posted - 07/13/2005 : 01:52:51 quote: Originally posted by kathryn quote: Originally posted by Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo quote: Originally posted by kathryn quote: Originally posted by Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo Baudelaire avait raison en ce qui concerne les belges.... **** hWolsky n'est pas d'accord. Sometimes, no matter how shitty things get, you have to just do a little dance. - Frank Ah Oui?? T'a-t-il dit qu'il �tait dans la section "Baby, that's art" pour une pr�sentation exclusive de son �tre?? **** Qui etait dans "Baby that's art"? Charles B ou Charles T? Sometimes, no matter how shitty things get, you have to just do a little dance. - Frank Wolsky H ****
geertos	Posted - 07/13/2005 : 00:49:25 I prefer a descreption an English rock journalist once gave for Belgium: "Belgium is brilliant. Its motto could be "What the fuck". It's like Jamaica, without the boring sunshine." By the way, didn't Austria recently vote Falco's "Rock me Amadeus" as best rock song ever? I rest my case. That is, if you're really from Austria, two reelers. But I bet you are, because who would fake something like that?
two reelers	Posted - 07/13/2005 : 00:37:47 reminds me of the monty-python-sketch "competition to find the worst description for belgians" (i think 'fat, miserable bastards' wins) I joined the cult of Souled American / 'cause they are a damn' fine band
kathryn	Posted - 07/12/2005 : 12:06:45 quote: Originally posted by Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo quote: Originally posted by kathryn quote: Originally posted by Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo Baudelaire avait raison en ce qui concerne les belges.... **** hWolsky n'est pas d'accord. Sometimes, no matter how shitty things get, you have to just do a little dance. - Frank Ah Oui?? T'a-t-il dit qu'il �tait dans la section "Baby, that's art" pour une pr�sentation exclusive de son �tre?? **** Qui etait dans "Baby that's art"? Charles B ou Charles T? Sometimes, no matter how shitty things get, you have to just do a little dance. - Frank
Carl	Posted - 07/12/2005 : 11:28:21 With the what, now?
Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo	Posted - 07/12/2005 : 08:48:15 quote: Originally posted by kathryn quote: Originally posted by Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo Baudelaire avait raison en ce qui concerne les belges.... **** hWolsky n'est pas d'accord. Sometimes, no matter how shitty things get, you have to just do a little dance. - Frank Ah Oui?? T'a-t-il dit qu'il �tait dans la section "Baby, that's art" pour une pr�sentation exclusive de son �tre?? ****
billgoodman	Posted - 07/12/2005 : 08:20:02 pff I'm glad belgium and holland aren't one anymore (a joke, a joke) --------------------------- God save the Noisies
Carl	Posted - 07/12/2005 : 06:31:06 Oh dear.
jediroller	Posted - 07/12/2005 : 06:14:08 quote: Originally posted by Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo ... et le manque de professionnalisme qui est international... ... surtout chez les amateurs, je suis bien d'accord. My evil twin would lie and steal And he would stink of sex-appeal
geertos	Posted - 07/12/2005 : 06:13:27 quote: Originally posted by Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo ... et le manque de professionnalisme qui est international... **** Like I said, RifRaf is not written by professionals. You're blaming a non-professional volunteer for not being professional?
kathryn	Posted - 07/12/2005 : 06:08:38 quote: Originally posted by Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo Baudelaire avait raison en ce qui concerne les belges.... **** hWolsky n'est pas d'accord. Sometimes, no matter how shitty things get, you have to just do a little dance. - Frank
Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo	Posted - 07/12/2005 : 06:07:18 ... et le manque de professionnalisme qui est international... ****
Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo	Posted - 07/12/2005 : 06:06:08 Hitler a eu raison d'envahir la Belgique... Non je plaisante... Ce qui craint c'est la d�sinformation... ****
Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo	Posted - 07/12/2005 : 06:05:03 Baudelaire avait raison en ce qui concerne les belges.... ****
jediroller	Posted - 07/12/2005 : 06:04:24 Hey, don't blame Belgium for one man's mistake! Thanks for putting things into perspective, Geertos. My evil twin would lie and steal And he would stink of sex-appeal
kathryn	Posted - 07/12/2005 : 05:51:12 L�ennuyeux Selkie Bride? Ennuyeux? Today is a shameful day to be half-Belgian. Sometimes, no matter how shitty things get, you have to just do a little dance. - Frank
geertos	Posted - 07/12/2005 : 05:50:40 Oh my. At my defense, as I seem to be the only Belgian poster currently, I should mention that RifRaf is written entirely by non-professional freelancers, is printed on very crappy newspaper-quality paper, and it costs 0 euro: it's freely available in the so-called "better cd-stores". They specialize in alternative rock and related stuff. Usually, it's not even that bad. But this article is horrible. At least try to get your facts right if you want to give a bad review.

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