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T O P I C    R E V I E W
Erebus Posted - 08/16/2004 : 13:28:56
And Now, a Less Informed Opinion

Posted by: jsimon on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 09:01 AM
By Dave Eggers; Spin online

http://www.spin.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=424&mode=thread&order=0&thold=0

The chief questions most music listeners ask, of themselves and their confessors, is this: How do I properly pay tribute to a song I love? How do I prove my affection? .... The one thing we do know is that you must not fake it. Don’t phone it in and don’t go halfway. Goddammit, the song is going to know! Don’t treat your favorite songs like imbeciles. Your tributes have to be real; they have to come from a place of both vulnerability and recklessness. They must be both respectful and crackbrained. In short, your tributes must mirror the inherent dangers of the song. Now, below are examples of proper homages to six homage-worthy songs. Consider these models from which you may develop your own:

Frank Black, “Thalassocracy” Only 1:33 long, this track starts at 120 miles an hour, so you have to be ready. You’re at a friend’s barbecue, all the boring people have left, and now it’s just six of you. You have known each other for many years, and one of you is pregnant. Place Teenager of the Year in the stereo and then stand in a circle. Do not laugh. No jokes! Goddammit, get serious. Stretch your arms out, as if you’re casting a spell on the person opposite you--which in a way, you are. Now cue to the second song and press play. Quick, you have no time--shake those arms! Keep them straight, but shake them as if 10,000 volts (or however many is a lot) of electricity were shooting through you. Make your legs buckle. Fall to the ground. Get up. Throw yourself against a wall. Throw yourself onto your friends. Writhe on the ground with them in a nonsexual way. Get on your knees and convulse. Blink quickly, as if you’ve had acid thrown in your face. Move your tongue in and out as fast as possible, like a snake or an old person trying to find the lettuce stuck to his upper lip. Optional: Point to your friends while singing key lyrics, as if they have done something wrong.
34   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
two reelers Posted - 09/14/2004 : 00:46:16
quote:
Originally posted by tobafett

So, who is the world's leading thalassocracy these days? identify and give evidence to support your opinion.



thal·as·soc·ra·cy ( P ) Pronunciation Key (thl-skr-s)
n. pl. thal·as·soc·ra·cies
Naval or commercial supremacy on the seas.
----------------------------------------------------------------------[Greek thalassokrati : thalassa, sea + -krati, -cracy.]
----------------------------------------------------------------------tha·lasso·crat (th-ls-krt) n.

so, according to this definition, it should be uncle sam. but i would not like to underestimate the brits, they have surely not forgotten when adolf back in the 40'ies tried to make them starve on their little island.

quote:

is that a great short-answer essay topic or what???



ya



I joined the cult of this mouse / and now I occidentally tic-tac
tobafett Posted - 09/13/2004 : 17:33:23
So, who is the world's leading thalassocracy these days? identify and give evidence to support your opinion.

is that a great short-answer essay topic or what???
PsychicTwin Posted - 09/13/2004 : 06:45:59
my respect for Thalassocracy is usually displayed through a vicious outburst of nodding my head at a rapid pace and singing along in unison, with a furrowed brow and shit-eating grin...

This usually takes place in my car, which no doubt frightens the bejeezus the other people stopped at the same light.
vilainde Posted - 09/13/2004 : 05:11:51
Thalassotherapy - that's hilarating.


Denis
Carl Posted - 09/10/2004 : 09:29:43
"WAI-HEY-HAIT! This song is so great, yeah, it really, really, rock-rock-rock-rock-rocks!"
Speaking of dance moves for FB songs, "Jaques Tati" kind of has instructions for dancing around in a Jaques Tati-style(including in your car-?). Maybe you could dance like him to that song or something.
Domestiques Posted - 09/10/2004 : 04:58:58
ok, I am aware of certain tracks of his, headache, los angeles, i dont want to hurt you, wht pong and the marsist and as soon as we are un packed after the house move, it will be a done thing, thanks for the advice and sorry to hi-jack a thread.

------------------------
“I want to be a star!” I cried
They said, “You’re overqualified.
Why don’t you learn to tune your damn guitar?”
the tolerant Posted - 09/10/2004 : 03:19:02
quote:
Thalasotherapy? taramasalata? what is it called?



Thalasocracy is on Franks 'Teenager of the Year' if you havent managed to figure this out.
I say start at the beginning too with the self titled Frank Black. but thinking bout it further, TOTY is sooo good you aint gonna go wrong starting with this masterpiece.
tobafett Posted - 09/09/2004 : 23:59:34
Frank Black.
Then wait several years and get Teenager.
Several more moons, then get Cult of Ray.
wait, that's what I had to do..:)

seriously, i'd start with Teenager...listen to it twice in a row...or more. it's genius, mate, genius...
Domestiques Posted - 09/09/2004 : 22:47:45
You know what, and please dont berate me, I am a life long pixies fan, my wife made the transition very easily from the pixies to frank, I wentthe breeders route, however after the recent dates I feel now I am ready to tackle frank, so bear in mind that she has everything where do I start? Thalasotherapy? taramasalata? what is it called?

------------------------
“I want to be a star!” I cried
They said, “You’re overqualified.
Why don’t you learn to tune your damn guitar?”
astrology Posted - 09/05/2004 : 19:17:50
THALASSOCRACY CAN BE ACHIEVED THRU KRAFTWERK'S
DAS BOOT

I ALWAYS PLAY IT THRICE



I'm a pistolero, i'm not shakin in my boots
I'm the ruler of this moon, if u move I shoots

Shootin Star Gathers no Mosss
Monsieur Posted - 08/21/2004 : 08:18:06
quote:
Originally posted by vilainde

Subsidiary question: how do you dance the Jacques Tati?


Denis




You kinda lean your head...


I will show you fear in a handful of dust
VoVat Posted - 08/20/2004 : 13:10:38
It probably was, when taken in conjunction with the "pissing off" line.



Cattle in Korea / They can really moo.
Alpha Soixante Posted - 08/20/2004 : 10:10:03
I always heard the romanov line as "you're just roamin' off, off, off" Don't know if it was an intentional pun, though.
VoVat Posted - 08/20/2004 : 10:07:44
Oh, you're all just pissing off, off, off, off, off.



Cattle in Korea / They can really moo.
tobafett Posted - 08/20/2004 : 09:43:02
Nyet, ya tolko romanov-ov-ov.
PsychicTwin Posted - 08/20/2004 : 09:07:50
Spare me your canned philosoph soph soph soph sophy
VoVat Posted - 08/19/2004 : 17:32:26
All I know is to mosh, and not pass the guy.



Cattle in Korea / They can really moo.
Ziggy Posted - 08/19/2004 : 13:44:21
It hasn't been as good since you learnt karate chop chop chop.
Jason Posted - 08/19/2004 : 01:06:50
I hurt my back once while doing the Manta Ray so I haven't tried the Jacques Tati yet.
tobafett Posted - 08/18/2004 : 21:05:43
Not quite, VV, no spinning in the Jacques Tati.

BW is slow...JT is fast. this is like learning ballroom dancin' in gradeschool--

...STOP TAP SPIN. STOP TAP SPIN...c'mon! next time, teacher, can we pick our own partners?
VoVat Posted - 08/18/2004 : 18:10:42
Bailey's Walk?



Cattle in Korea / They can really moo.
tobafett Posted - 08/18/2004 : 15:54:55
Isn't it just a walk??
VoVat Posted - 08/18/2004 : 15:28:30
quote:
Subsidiary question: how do you dance the Jacques Tati?


I don't know, but I should probably learn it before I go fighting in the Dance War. I don't want to get kicked in the taco, after all.



Cattle in Korea / They can really moo.
FrequencyOfGlow Posted - 08/18/2004 : 14:40:04
Hello , my name is Kirk and I stomp my feet, clap my hands, get out of my seat AND do a little dance. It's good to know I'm not alone.



I think the winter is going to be a real whirligig
vilainde Posted - 08/18/2004 : 06:49:59
Subsidiary question: how do you dance the Jacques Tati?


Denis
tobafett Posted - 08/18/2004 : 06:47:27
I do the stomp/clap/shimmy in the car...people tend to stare.

but only after I've been sucking on my quaff...
vilainde Posted - 08/18/2004 : 01:33:49
Getting back to the original topic... Has anyone ever danced to Pie In The Sky, following what's said in the song? You know, "Stomp you feet and clap your hands/Get out of your seat and do a little dance/Lift up your voice and sing with glee/Now listen carefully to me"... I do hope I'm not the only one who always do that.


Denis
two reelers Posted - 08/18/2004 : 00:56:00
but it only takes photon power and eight minutes an hour to make it to our sun !

I joined the cult of this mouse / and now I occidentally tic-tac
VoVat Posted - 08/17/2004 : 16:09:08
But now we're hanging in tandem six trillion miles a year.



Cattle in Korea / They can really moo.
Jose Jones Posted - 08/17/2004 : 12:52:54
"sad punk" starts at 250 mph and then hits warp speed about 7 seconds in.

'thalassocracy' seems to be getting a lot of props recently.

-dan
VoVat Posted - 08/17/2004 : 12:49:30
quote:
Frank Black, “Thalassocracy” Only 1:33 long, this track starts at 120 miles an hour


Mr. Eggers is underestimating here. It travels at 1000 miles an hour! Or am I thinking of "The Sad Punk"?

I agree that "Pong" and "Thalassocracy" are a largely inseparable pair. Although "Thalassocracy" worked pretty well without "Pong" when I saw Frank live. It took me a little while to recognize it, though.



Cattle in Korea / They can really moo.
vilainde Posted - 08/17/2004 : 01:33:10
I can't wait to try that! Except I think the pregnant one shouldn't throw herself against the wall.


Denis
robotblood Posted - 08/16/2004 : 23:49:19
ok, i'm down with all of it, except for the "cue to the second track" part. c'mon, can dave really not handle the first 2 minutes of the disc? not to mention, i have always felt that pong/thalassocracy was intended to be a tandem listen. in fact, whenever teenager gets tossed into a shuffle on my nomad, each song feels incomplete without the other. still, he gets most of it right... thalassocracy is a frenzied romp that rocks.
FrequencyOfGlow Posted - 08/16/2004 : 13:51:42
that was fantastic

I think the winter is going to be a real whirligig

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